Redefinition

我照着镜子，看到你眼里的空洞

2012-01-26T07:47:00.000-08:00

2012 年 1 月 26 日

11:23时

晴

为着迟迟不更新的部落深感遗憾。

最近老是有东西想说，但是就老实不能用笔墨形容‘

我觉得我大概是老了

真的老了。。。

我想，那时心里说不出的惭愧，

一时的错误，

却搞得一生遗憾，

我想，你心里到底在想什么，

是不是还在那里念念不忘,

还是，

你已决定忘记，

你决定离开，

从那些年悲惨的残局，

从那尴尬的分离，

从那凄美结局，

慢慢消失

那么

究竟你是怎么度过的呢？？

我真的很想知道，

告诉我

好吗？？

也许，

我真的是看错了，

你的美，

你的好，

你的温柔，

真的好美

好美

但，

现实是丑的。

叶子

你好吗？

新年快乐

我很好，告诉我你的故事好吗？？

我们约定好的噢...

Jet Lag

2012-01-20T08:41:00.000-08:00

Stranded in LCCT. Possible Symptoms of Jetlag. Well, here I am, on the way back home to my home Kuching.. If you are reading this before 0725 21/1/~~2011~~ 2012, yep, I am still here. =)

Hmmm… let’s see if you can spot one guy with a samurai sword…..

Here??

Or here??

Nope. I didn’t see him…

I’m really really grateful that God hear my cries, even the deepest whisper in my heart he perceive too. I was kinda depressed when I had to stay overnight in LCCT here because I shared taxi with some dudes who travelled earlier back to Kuching tonight, In fact, all Kuching people have gone home today, leaving me behind alone. But something wonderful (tragic for some) happened.

This guy, came late to the airport and can’t check-in in his flight back to Kuching. Sadly, he bought another ticket for tomorrow which is the same as mine!! *happy* We both felt happy and relieved to have some company tonight and agreed that God had both fulfilled our needs during this time, though I feel kinda sorry for his loss… Anyway, thank God for his work and also for the company that we both had tonight.

…

Ya, and again i got my hair cut
Hard to tell?? Look at this..

Before

After

Tada!!

I have to admit that we have a certain degree of similarity though...

A Friend

2012-01-15T01:31:00.000-08:00

A friend

Accepts you as you are

Believes in you

Calls you just to say “hi”

Doesn’t give up on you

Envision the whole of you

Forgives your mistakes

Gives unconditionally

Helps you

Inspire you when you are down

Just want to be with you

Keeps you close at heart

Loves you for who you are

Makes a difference in your life

Never judges

Offers support

Picks you up

Raise your spirits

Say nice things about you

Tell you the truth when you need to hear it

Understands you

Values you

Walks beside you

X-plains things you don’t understand

Yells when you won’t listen

Zaps you back to reality

Are you my friend??

...

(please turn off the music on the right side bar before this is played)

一个事奉多年的执事，

因因积极参与事奉而忽略了他的眼睛，

在全教会为他代祷之时，

他因为一首听起来也没有什么好听的歌打动了。

跪地俯伏敬拜神，

这岂不是奇妙的双手在工作？？

我也要称谢，

我也要歌颂，

歌颂那奇妙的双手。

We came. We Saw. We Ate. We play

2012-01-10T06:35:00.000-08:00

This is the story about 11 people who embarked on a journey to Malacca, where interesting stories awaits...

(so epic lol)

Yep, This is the story of our journey to Malacca
So we go there by KTM ~~which stops suddenly one station away from our destination station and stayed put for 1 hour then reversed back 2 stations~~ then by Bus, and MALACCA!!

Ever wondered how does McD look like in Malacca?? Well, it looked black.... with bamboos....

And something like that..

Then we are invited to Irene's place, where we have barbequeue with her families and have a fun time, not to mention we spent around 1 hour to raise the fire.. Anyway, thanks for the hospitality. =)

Asam Laksa

Some people say it taste like Penang Laksa, but for someone like me who had never tasted Penang Laksa before.. Well, How should i know??

Oh ya, F.Y.I that night is 2012 New Year's eve,

Got some dashing firework for our eyes to savour on. =)

Also not to forget our birthday babies who reached their birthday at the last day of the year... =)

Well, what can i say??

Happy BIrthday.

And is it really great to grow older by two years in just a day?? XD

Sean "apek" Lai

Chelsea (Yes no mistakes!!) Khor

Cute Right??

erm... I'm sure he won't read this.... *Runs away*

Thought for the day : We live to eat

And when we reached this big building, our friend tells us that this is the big prison of the state. We are utterly shocked as the whole facility is really big and very nice ~~compare to our college KTT~~ I was thinking, do this make us worst than some criminal who is locked up in this security facility because they lived in a better environment??

Ah Gong Bring us to A Famosa!!!!

Guy : Cars are outdated... check out mine...

entrance

Entering Safari Zone

Chicken Farm *chirp* Chirp*

And during night time we manage to go to the Famous

Jonker Walk

Really nice. =)

Counting Down

稀稀落落的人影

我只是其中一小点

一个简单的新年祝福

对你有何意义呢？？

你还在乎吗？？

新年快乐

The Next day we went to shop around, get some brands and have a taste

of being a

Shopaholic

Okay.. this is so not me...

If you we're to come to Malacca, you must not miss the

CHICKEN RICE BALLS

as it's the special delicacies here...

And also the Asam Laksa

AWWWWW

I miss you

LAKSA

And you might not want to miss the heritage sights you can visit here in Malacca..

So of course we did have a chance to explore the heritage street

Malacca River

The red house (is it how it is called??)

Wind mill

water mill

Red building

Ancient train

In a nutshell, Malacca is really a nice place to visit and i actually miss all the food and things that we can play in there.... So, see you next time my readers in my next update and see you soon, Malacca.

New Year resolution 2012

2012-01-04T03:03:00.000-08:00

So a new year is here, people are busying with their new year resolutions while I’m relaxing here, stretching away on a vacation. I can’t help but wonder why is there a need to have a resolution for the year ahead. ~~Anyway, the world is ending this year right??~~ I do realize the fact that people will set some goody goody stuff that makes them work harder in order to have a fruitful year ahead, and perhaps a better one. I mean, are we really going to follow the resolution once we set it during the start of the year?? Or how many us will be determine enough to follow the resolution throughout the year??

Okay, maybe I am wrong. It does do some good after all. However, I won’t do any new year resolution for the year ahead..

So, what do I want to achieve this year??

For those who doesn’t know anything at all about me currently ( new readers especially), I am a government sponsored scholar under JPA scholarship, currently studying in the Kolej Teknologi Timur in Sepang under A level programme, and going to further my studies to india, taking Dentistry.

So that’s currently who am I. So aside from academic outstanding achievement, I wish to achieve something greater, more meaningful, and will bring good cause to the world and people around us.

Take a look around us. How many people do you see who doesn’t has a smile?? Who lived out there with no sense of direction in their life, and who lived just for the sake of his/her own existence, and who lived just for the sake of living?? How many people out there are hurting and needs someone to hear them out?? How many people are still hanging on to the past, haunted by the phantagorisma of their own mistakes??

Those are what I see when I looked into people’s face, and I feel this need to share that pain, share that misery as if it is mine. And I think that this is my purpose, to provide a sanctuary to those who need someone to be there, and to hear their feeble cry, and to be there for them.

However, I know I’m not worthy or trustworthy enough to play that role. Even I sometimes do mistakes which earn distrust from other people. So I need to learn to be more sincere, which I had been taught to learn since the very beginning. Sincerity…. Hmm… I’m suddenly tongue tied….

That’s about it, Happy new year

Adieu

2011-12-30T11:54:00.000-08:00

31/12/2011

Lookat me

AndWatch me

Witnesshow I fall

HowI fell into great despair

HowI overcome the devastating ordeal

HowI come back again anew

Howredefinition change the direction of my life.

Yes,indeed another year is coming to an end. Years feel like months, months feellike days, days feel like hours, hours feel like minutes, and minutes feel likejust seconds of our short misery life. So how am I feeling?? Great??Sorrowful?? Full of guilt??

无奈

绝望

忙茫盲

重新振作

一切的一切

感恩

Year2011 can be considered as one of the hardest year that I have being through inmy currently still-short 18-year-old life. So, what’s so tough and tougher thanthe SPM exam?? Well, I was devastated by something that happened during monthJanuary, completely falling into the pit of darkest hour of my life. It washard, heart-breaking, as the betrayal sinks in one’s life and takes all thatone believes, all that one hope for, all dreams, and all faith away, leaving athin husk with emotions and thoughts. I lived like a dry shell for months,though God sustained me from time to time through different people, anddifferent songs, and different circumstances, renewed my life and encourage meto put more faith in HIM in guiding my life. I understand that everything is aF-M-L kind of stuff and we’ve got every right to complain about God’s Guidanceand the role he played in our life. Even I complained, and there’s no wrong indoing that.

Butwhy complain

when you know that everything that happened

isa delicate piece of jigsaw puzzle

thatmakes up a perfect picture??

Again,I was reminded not to challenge God’s authority no matter what happens. Andthat God is willing to hear our feeble cries when all hopes seems lost.

“He will not break a bruised reed or extinguished asmoldering wick, until he brings justice to victory”

Matthew 12:20

Howmiracle works??

Miracleis a phenomenon or circumstance where it clear exemplifies genuine provocation orviolation of the natural law.

What is amiracle?
What is a miracle? It is when the impossiblehappens.
It’s when doctors have given up on a sick childand for no scientific reason, that child gets well.
It’s when you’re down to your last dollar, havepiles of bills to be paid, and a check arrives in the mail from some unknownsource.
It’s when a hurricane comes through a town andyour house is left standing with desolation all around it.
It’s when a child is born and you can’t believehow exquisitely miniature this new life appears.
It’s when you’ve prayed for a specific purpose andthat prayer is answered.
It’s when there is no earthly reason somethingwonderful has happened.
Miracles take place everyday. Sometimes they’revery subtle and quiet, sweeping in like a touch on the face. Other times, it’svery evident and public. It doesn’t matter who you are, miracles can happen toanyone.

Miracle happens whenyou least expect it to. For me, Lord’s work is never more clear and evidentwhen He sent someone else better and ideal to fit me, to provide me with newstrength in facing the sadistic, materialistic life. There he come intointervention, filling in the gap that was once empty, mending the broken heartthat was once whole, and bring meaning into an empty. This sister, I dare sayhad clearly portrayed God’s Agape unconditional love. And for that, I thankedher. It’s like the sweet dew rained down in the Indian summer.

And at the start ofmonth August, I flipped my life into a new living chapter of college life,where independent living, separation from families are all related under thesame catergory. Now, after a separation of 6 months, only then I know how hardit is to face the absence of a couple of extra hands to hold you and back youup when all you need is just a shoulder to lie on, and how lonely it is whenyou opened your phonebook, scrolled the whole list, and found no one that youcan actually talk to. But that’s when maturation takes places. I firmly believethat everyone has their own fear and doubts, and their own cravings andattitudes, and mentality, and these are the times when we all face seasoningand molding of hard circumstances, which gradually have an awesome impact onour life and bring metamorphosis into our life.

Redefinition

The end of 2011 andthe start of 2012, how am I going to live the coming year?? NO matter how I wouldlive it, I know for sure that pain will follow with sweetness, and joy willcome with bitterness. All elements of life, all variety of emotions floods inand form a stable a compound, isn’t that what life is??

Last Christmas i gave you my heart

2011-12-25T09:44:00.000-08:00

(please stop the music on the right hand side bar before you start this. =))

The last time
You fall on me for anything you like
Your one last line
You fall on me for anything you like
And years make everything alright
You fall on me for anything you like
And I no I don't mind

As this song loomed inside my head, I finally realize that i had totally got over you. The last time, yes, the last time i may have fall for you hard, but this time, i feel all better and all new and i really hope that i can make amends to what you felt and your regrets, but too bad we didn’t work out that way anymore.

Maybe the Last Christmas i maybe so crazy of you and fancy of you that i lost myself, but now no more. You’re just a tiny speck existing in my mind. A piece of memory which i am unwilling to conjure, a scale of reminiscence which i would never bring up to torture myself, and a small miniscule of the total volume of the heart that was still healing.

But the little piece though small,

You have influenced me,

Changed my life,

And though tiny,

You’ve brought huge difference between where we both are now.

Solitary Mimbletonia,

Merry Christmas.

I will never forget you as a person who matures me

Who showed me how wrong i was

Who endured all the way but in the end giving up

Who never gave me a second chance to be better

I still miss you, My friend.

Cherrybum,

Merry Christmas.

Thanks for being a so awesome friend and the best Christmas present ever

Thanks for being the one

Who showed me love never ceased to exist

Who taught me never to give up when all seemed so hopeless

Who portrayed love perfectly.

Thank you, My friend.

...

Christmas in KTT is never good

Never okay in fact.

Missed celebrating it in Sg Maong Methodist Church

A place where i belong

Youth

Church

Sounds and Wounds

2011-12-22T09:21:00.000-08:00

I never thought this kind of personwill exist in this place.

The kind of person that actuallywished to show off everything he had infront of everyone else, trying really hardto convince people around him that he’s the most charming and adorable dude inthe world. I was totally devastated, heart screaming “WTH!!!!” when he come tome and wished that he wants to be put somewhere prominent during thecelebration. I mean, OMIGOODNESS!!!! -Isn’t it very very obvious what are youtrying to do?? What do you want ?? Want the whole world to know about you??

I’m not mad. I’m not even angry.Just that I pitied you for you defined your own value with your TALENTS and WHATYOU CAN DO. Well, what can I say?? Just be yourself please??

But, I won’t forget to reflect onmyself.

Am I Like that too??
Am I craving attention from all like you??

Well, sometimes we all do

So lost in this materialistic worldthat we can only build our identity on what we can do, but not what we reallyare…

That’s what I call sadistic.

…

Stress is building up at anexponential rate.

The Elastic limit is reaching it’sbreaking point.

Christmas

KTT 15^th year anniversary

Chinese New Year

More organizing works

More Activities

More studies

But less time.

HOW?? HOW?? HOW??

Looking at friend studying looked atmyself again, full of works at hand. Sometimes I can’t help but to complain andjust wished that I can be like them too, study study study study, and that allcan I do is just study. But thinking back again, I mean, how many people canlive a life as interesting as mine out there?? They can only study, while I cando something else!! =)

Aal Izz Well

Anyway, fight or flight mode istriggered, tension is adjusted to its max. I’m ready to fight. SEM 2 here I come!!!!!

Miscellaneous

2011-12-20T08:49:00.000-08:00

Family day didn’t turned out to besuch an disappointment after all. After waking up at 6.30 a.m., Revo, thensenam robik, then set up the booth, then war game, then captain ball, then makeglutinous riceball, then choir practice, then finally reached home at 11.30p.m., drained but contented. =)

!. When you make a toast, spread athick layer of vanilla ice-cream and take a big bite, an savour the scrumptiousand sweet and icy taste of the ice-cream taste……

2. I realize that I have no talentat all at making glutinous riceball… the dough will just break when I try toshape it. And not knowingly, I dipped the whole dough into the water ( insteadyou should take out some water and wet the dough), and it melted… ==

…

Dear all

No matterwhenever you are

When youlook up into the moon

And thinkof me

Always bearin mind that somewhere out there

I thoughtif you too.

Sometimes

Distanceseemed to do its trick

We can’ttalk

We can’tbear the sadness of separation

But somehow

We are tiedby

Invisiblethread

…

Father God, Thank You for the day,Thank You for the special time to bond with all my friends. Although it’s aspecial day but I’m still thankful that I gained a lot from all theseprogrammes.. Now I want to continue to pray for strength Lord, for handling theChristmas caroling and the Christmas celebration in ktt. Give me Wisdom andintelligence so that we committees can organize a successful event and canconvey the message to all the unbelievers. And I pray that all my friends willgo to the Christmas eve celebration on Saturday night, I really hope they willcome. In Jesus Name I pray. Amen

It's part of the Gift

2011-12-18T06:49:00.000-08:00

A younggirl in Africa gave her teacher a Christmas gift. It was a beautiful seashell. “Wheredid you get this??” she asked. The children told her that such shells are foundonly on a certain faraway beach.

The teacherwas deeply touched, because she knew that the girl had walked many miles tofind the shell. “You shouldn’t have traveled so far just to find a gift for me,”she said. The girl smiled and replied, “The long walk is part of the gift.”

The girlwise beyond her years, probably didn’t know that she was conveying a truthabout Jesus Christ. He gives the wonderful gift of eternal life to all whobelieve in Him. It’s a treasure that carries with it forgiveness of all oursins and God’s never failing love.

Christ’sgift also began with a journey. He left the splendors of heaven to come to oursin-drenched earth. He took upon Himself our humanity and walked the long wayto the cross. There he bore our sin and all its penalty. And when I say to himin gratitude, “It’s too much, Jesus. You shouldn’t have done it,” I can picture Him looking at me with alove-filled eyes and saying tenderly, “ The journey is part of the gift.”

...

Oh, dear, needa look for a present soon....

Countdown to Christmas : 7 days

The confession of a murderer

2011-12-11T07:51:00.001-08:00

Everything that has a beginning hasan end.

The familiar saying is always there,reminding us that the cruelty of the reality is not going to spare our pitifulexistence, not even spare minute, or even seconds of life and let us have some nickof a millisecond to draw in fresh air, to think freely, or even to be still, tobe relaxed, to be unhindered by any suffocating happenings in the world. That, Itruly believe that it’s a universal truth, that we human had never trulyrelaxed before, or put it in a more critical nomenclature, we human never letourselves catch a breath.

Yes, again I stressed and believethat everything that has a beginning has an end.

Exemplas Gratia, the end of schoolholiday is an imminent outcome when you finally come to a end term holiday. Thisholiday had provide me means to indulge in my own seclusion, to read a good book,eating silently, wasted the whole day just lie there, ears jacked into avariety genre of music. It’s carefree lifestyle actually, and the first fewdays passed by in a kinda rapid manner.

However, as the holiday progressed, thingsstart to turn sideways as the nature in us as a social creature cries out for accompaniment,for a earnest ear to talk to, and a companion at times of boredom which cameout of nowhere. No man is an island, as the saying goes, implies that the truenature of homo sapiens never includes solidarity, by which arise yet another question,who then, decide to isolate from the pack of social animals and live aabnormal, unnatural lonesome life??

Forget it, the chase for the truthfor all kinds of lame question in the world wouldn’t bring us any closer to thereal truth. I shall delay those questions for another stories for another time,if only I’ve been granted to live that long. Human, men or women all the same,had blinded themselves with all sorts of physically-attainable wealth, thatthey have lost their original nature themselves. Take me for instance, I findit hard to converse, to express my own thoughts and feelings through a carefulchoice of words, which is the basic of building up a good communication. What hadour national education methods taught us?? To be idiot literates.

Yes, where’s our generation’smannerism?? Where’s our generation’s code of honour?? We’re just some bunch ofliterated, educated idiots roaming around claiming to have bright minds. What aparadoxical statement, the sheer irony drifting amidst of us, the greatest liewidely accepted by all.

And set that aside again, I knowthis is not usual for me to write something like this, but this I tell you :During times of despair, hours can be years, minutes lapsed like decades, secondscan feel like a century.

Time seems to drag slowly in itscontinuum

Moments of life stops as everythingof it amplified

The pretty became beautiful

The ugly became sadistic

And I am given no choice but tomurder

And finally I’ve done it

Am I’m not even gonna be ashamed ofit

As if it’s something that’sethically misleading

I just murdered

Some time

Some-little-time

Inception

2011-12-08T19:22:00.001-08:00

Since when does "How are you?" only means a shallow greeting??

Since when does "Are you okay?" only means an ommitable pleasanties which can be ignored??

Since when does "I'm fine" only means a correct answer to the question "How are you??"

Since when does "I'm okay" only means the only answer to the question "Are you okay??"

Maybe, "I'm okay" had become a way to hide the true sheer hurting from this befallen society.

SHOO!! SHOO!! Hiatus

2011-12-06T06:59:00.001-08:00

What right or wrong in this world??Is something right something that makes us feel good when we do it; andsomething wrong is something that makes us feel bad when we do it?? Well, totell you the truth, aside from conscience which do a small small part intelling us right from wrong, we’re solely depending on what we had learned fromour surrounding, or in other words, our culture.

Parents teaches us not to smoke, weknow that smoking is not good for us, IT’S WRONG

Smokers grew in an environment whereall people around them smokes, they think that smoking is just right, IT’SRIGHT.

We live in a civilized society, weknow that robbing is no good, IT’S WRONG

Thugs lived in slum dog area alltheir life, robbing is what they see, they think that robbing is good, itbrings money, IT’S RIGHT

So do you see it?? The wrongs andrights are merely a perception of how we view a doing, an act, or a thought, oreven an idea. It’s very dependent, greatly affected by the local culture, the environment,the surrounding where we grew. Another example, in the conservative nineties, individualof opposite sexes weren’t even allowed to be together alone, let alone holdhands, making out, having physical contact in the public.

So can you see it?? Theoreticallythere’re no right or wrongs, there’s only perspectives mould and make by the surroundings,cultivated by the culture, and nourished by the environment.

When I see other people treatingothers, especially me very warmly and with awesome hospitality, I actually feltbad and wondered why I was not like that. They can show kindness in their veryown awesome way but that’s just what I can’t do, or what I’ve not being taughtto do when I was younger. I guess I’m just naturally stingy.

Helo. Stingy me.

Yeah, I'm fine here..

2011-12-03T07:27:00.001-08:00

Fellow KL people, in case you hadn't noticed, the rapid KL service had been upgraded to using token for ticket instead of "paper tickets". =)

Well, in opinion, i very much prefer the paper ticket thingy because you can actually get a hold onto something bigger and lighter instead of some token which you can lost easily as easy as you lost a coin. Somehow i think that it is some new-found strategy by the company to charge the people who lost their tokens, considering the fact that it's so easy to lost it and the worker will be just around the corner to fine you a good RM30. XD

Anyway, it's a faster and more updated alternative compared to the in-recycle-able tickets.

and yep, to those who are concerned, i'm now safe and sound at my aunty's house. and from the look from the picture, i think i got pretty mushy as my head became a bit "mushroomish".. oh well, what can i say?? i think i rotted a lot and probably grew some fungi while i'm in my college.

Anyway, i'm so amazed by my journey today that originally i have to go to ktm station by myself, be there, and take a cab to my aunty's house. Then, i have two friends to join my ride and share out my fare to the ktm station. Then, they are staying near to my aunty's house!! and i got my free ride !! =)

Thanks Paul Khoo and family for their hospitality. I was really touched by the friendliness and the love in the family. =)

And the late upload of christmas celbration at INTI college, production of collaboration between NUC-KTT-INTI.

THIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY

FA LALALALALALALALA...

counting down to christmas : 21 days

罪与罚

2011-11-27T16:50:00.001-08:00

Today i vividly experience the guilt when you know that you have done something wrong, sinned. It feels like something in you had broken and was torn apart, and that you are not who you are anymore. And it's just something, maybe something little, that makes you regret, makes you uneasy for all the while, and that is when you experienced guilt.

The funny thing is, Christians are especially observed and constantly watched as if they are some weird species that are suppose to lead a very Holy life, i mean, even Christians do sin sometimes, they are not saints, but just ordinary mortals who also feel for their needs at times. Don't get me wrong, i didn't say that sinning is good for Christian and as a matter of fact, we should've refrain from it.

But another thing, One, people tend to sin. Two, sinning people tend to judge. I am always surprised at how people love to judge and pass judgement to other while deep down in themselves they are not so good either. What a world is this?? The rationale to this is that they judged just so that they can hold lift themselves higher and perhaps feel less guilty because they think that they're good enough. Psychologically, it's called "self-comforting", which doesn't help at all because the truth is waiting right behind...

"For all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of the God." Romans 3:23

When Jesus died on the cross, he can feel the glory draining out from him as he bears the sins of the world. That's what sinning does to us, we can no longer feel the intimacy with God, and for certain we feels uncertain with our own worth and become defiled with sins. And for Jesus, he was so defiled that even God can't bear to see him and be with him, it's because he was too dirty and filthy that the unmatched glory of the Lord is unable to abide with him.

He was like a rose, trampled on the ground

He took the fall and thought of me,

And of course YOU

I am not here to pass judgement or what but i encourage everyone here to hold on dear to your status, brother and sisters in Christ, that we have the honour to be the son of God. Sinning is really not a good thing to do, so be smart.

p.s. Thanks Armand for showing love, and J.J. for leading me to this path, and also GOD who provides saving grace, puts little pieces of puzzle to form a big picture.

Starry Night

2011-11-16T16:49:00.001-08:00

Starry night. Starry sky. And under it, just heand she.

“Well, it’s fascinating right?? I always loveit when the sky is full of stars. Makes me feel like they are watching over me,somehow I feel secured and relaxed.” She giggled and breathed out, which vaporizesinto a thin coat of mist in the cold air. He stared at her lovingly, fullyamazed by every little actions that she had done.

Wow. He thought. He found out that his breath shortenfrom time from time as he lay his gaze on her, the way she laugh, the way shetell him her stories. Everything is like a little piece of melody, on and outand on and out, fading in the air and reechoed, reverberate in the thick cold atmosphere,like a lullaby stuck on replay. Or rather, are her voice stucking in his mind,that he somehow feels empty after each time she stopped talking?? He himselfdoesn’t know what’s up with him too actually.

Mild breeze wheezes through, bringing her hairup, making it messy, but somehow it looks adorable and alluring. He could notfind any word to describe the beauty that was laid infront of him. It was justperfect. It was just wonderful, and he doesn’t want to waste any time talking,to interrupt her from keep looking like this. He offered his hands and brushedher fringe up back to where it was suppose to be. She blushed, and he feltnothing comparable to this as her warmth surged into his hands.

“What are you looking at??” she asked shyly,and he thought he knew why, but he was not sure of it, and he was pretty surethat she knows why he was staring at her. Cricket croons, and the mild breezebrush through the land, freshen up the mood. And he thought he saw fireflies,dancing, juggling through the dark night sky, as it sparkled while it flewthrough the darkness, doing their own unique band of twirling. Should he callit dashing?? Or was it not fireflies?? He wasn’t hesitant anymore when herealized that it was a falling star, plummeting into the horizon.

“Look!! A comet!!!” he pointed out to the skyof celestials, her hand felt warm in his.

“Wow! I never saw one before you know??” shequickly turned away from him, head bowed, hands crossed, as if she was prayinga wish, wishing something wonderful to happen. And there were this momentarysilence for him to study her, as she sat there quietly, as if really believingthat her wish will come true. He gasped, as he realized that he was mesmerizedby her, and he that he had fell in love with this girl. He quickly bowed andwished.

I wish I can kiss her

Theywalked silently on the road, he wants to hold her hand again but he just couldn’tfind a way to summon up his courage and grab her gentle hands, which makes theatmosphere kinda awkward. She turned to him and asked, “Why are you nottalking?? You seem so quiet…” He wished to tell her that he is going to missher so much after this date but he just couldn’t say it, nor he dare to look ather in her eyes, as if something scary is holding him back. He suddenly feel soscared.

“Anyway, thanks for walking me home, bye…” shemurmured as she made her move towards her home.

“Wait!” he try to hold her back, fearing thathe had no more chances like this after tonight. Deep in his heart he knew thathe had to do something tonight. He hold on to her arms, not willing to let go.There’s something in him that doesn’t wish her to go. She still look as beautifulas ever, wide eyes, sharp noses, thatrosy cheek, and that face that always smiles, he can feel that the whole worldfroze just for him and her.

“Erm… I wish I can watch over you, like thestars, you’re beautiful,” a part of him fell back, fearing that a wrong thingthat he had done will ruin everything. His words sound like a whisper in thetranquil silence. She blushed again, looking at him as if he was a treasure. Hisheart melts, as he drew closer and drew her in his arms. His eyes closed, andhe was pretty sure that she’d do the same, and for an instant he hopes thatthey can do this forever.

She finally drew away, acting real shy. “Thankyou for tonight Dave, thanks for making my wish come true, it really works,doesn’t it??” something in her voice makes his heart skipped a beat, and shewas the most beautiful girl in the world right then, right there. She slowlymake her way into her home, closing up the door behind him, and he swore that hecaught her looking back as she closed the door.

He stood there in disbelief, savouring the memorywith her, from the start until now, like an old man reliving his days again,indulged in his own nostalgic reminiscence. He was pretty sure that when theirlips brushed together, the moment will last for eternity in his mind.

The Climb

2011-11-16T00:16:00.001-08:00

Well, last week I went to one of the outing organized by Raleigh to trek the jungle, Bukit Kala @ Gombak, where no one had ever trekked before, and a lost of path will cost you your dear life. *mysterious look* Well, the truth is that the bukit is never trekked by any forest ranger, or any mountaineer because it was never opened to any of them as it is the territory of the aborigines. Now, it is officially open for us and ONLY us, and in order to do this trekking, we have to use the guide of the local aborigines. Kinda scary is it?? I guess so, with all the unknown terrain and creatures lurking around in the natural woods. And ever wondered what Raleigh International is, apart from it’s the name for some place in the western country?? Nope, I got no idea too... XD

So we started out sometime when the sun is nowhere to be seen, kinda early I guess, and headed our way to the KTM station far far away at Gombak. Well, you will have to travel to the KTM station at Nilai, and travel to KL Sentral, and stroll around, and take the PUTRA line to Gombak, a long long way… And the thing is it’s really a dreadful thing to do when you are actually really excited, anticipating the coming journey, but is separated by this sadistically long journey to the gathering point, which turns you down partially. Everyone sleeps in the Light rail Coach, and the journey to the gathering point is no fun at all, except for the fact that we have a seat to sit on, and enjoy freezing air conditioner.. *Frostbite anyone??*

And here we are at the gathering point, we quickly stumble to the registrar, get into the team by 30 mins late (it’s very in-strategic to gather here, you know), and went to Bukit Kala. So what is jungle trekking actually?? It’s actually some activity where you are in a big big jungle and you have to trek and dredge and trench through the muddy terrain, following the forest ranger’s marking and trail that he had device for us ( which in this case, not happening at all *gasp*), and came out from the jungle eventually. Well, I’ve been through this kind of trekking before since I’m so so small at some mountain-trekking jungle in Bintulu, and also at many national parks available in Kuching. So I was kinda seasoned and experienced actually, no sweat. So, I am just here to gain some more experience, to gain more exposure to this kind of thing. *perasannya… teehee…^^*

And yeah, we’ve reached here and meet with Mr. Aborigine. Well, he does really take this kind of thing seriously and warned us to behave in the jungle because there’s always “makhluk halus” in the jungle, as well as some mountain-Gods and also some deities that keep the jungle in order. He told us about several times when he got lost in the jungle, the exit is just right there, clear in his map in the brain, but he just could not find the way, because the spirits are screwing up with his mind. And most of the time he had to plea with the mountain Gods so he can finally get out. He also listed some of the stuffs that we should brought and what’s essential for us when we got lost.

Water is the most important thing for our survival, as it can provide us with enough water so that we can continue on with our metabolism and bla bla blas (please look up to any biology books for more info.) 1.5 litre will be enough
A parang, first it can protects us, and it can be used to clear the terrains and also use to start a fire
Some food, a little will be enough. We have this misconception that we should bring tones of food into the jungle, some even says “berkilo-kilo” of foods, mind you. But to put this in a logical way, we can survive in the jungle for days and weeks without food, but a couple of days only without water. So conclusion, it’s better to bring water into the jungle than bring foods.
Most of you will be shocked when this most important item is revealed. Truth to be said, it will be your ultimate survival weapon if you ever got lost in a jungle. It’s CELLULAR PHONE!! With this you can call someone to get you out, pretty easy right??

At the same time, he also explained some of the original traps that their ancestor had passed down from generation to generation, which can be very efficient at times, considering the fact that It can get you Bambi, mousedeer, and some pelanduks by piercing through their vitals through activating buttons. We’re all marveled by the technology possessed by their ancestors, that they have button-activated traps.

And lastly, he told us that our heart and mind must be pure so that we can make it into the jungle and get out safely. Well, I know this can be kinda ridiculous at times but the natives do really have their rationale in advising us this kind of thing, so what’s harm if we take the advise??

So we headed into the jungle, and the adventure begins. Wait, something is wrong, where’s the trek!?? Can someone tell me where is it?? Where’s the Fart –King Trail!!?? Well, it’s no different from the jungles that I used to trek in, except for the fact that it’s Trailless!! Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome into this vast jungle where there isn’t any natural trails *hyperventilates*. In this jungle we’re practically lost the a few minutes after stepping into this jungle. There’s not a trail to show us where to go, luckily we have this native guide who guide us through the jungle.

Well, it isn’t so special after all, I tell you, this is the honest truth about jungle trekking. All the while, depends on how long your journey will take, the scenery you will see is the same all the way, trees, trees, trees, shrubs, shrubs, grass, flower, trunk, trees, trees, Oh!! A butterfly!!!, trees, trees, shrubs, shrubs… need I elaborate somemore?? All those repetitive scenery will drive your nerve out, and you will want to look into the sky for the tall-trees view, which is kinda fascinating. And worst more, the terrain here is extreme?? If not disastrous?? We’re asked to climb up a cliff with it’s angle almost perpendicular to the horizontal ground. And also, wait, I haven’t tell you that we have heavy rain here, which makes everything more endangering and more FUN. By taking a look at my hand you will know that how big the rain is, considering the fact that the raindrops look like a giant transparent patch on my hands… Now is not the right time to sing “rain drops are falling on my head, they keep falling…

However, another truth, the thing that we’re working for in this kind of trip is always the breath-taking scenery that we can prey on after we reach the summit, or the sense of accomplishment when we finally make out of the jungle. Yeah, though the journey maybe life-taking, but the ending will be breath-taking. Not to mention that we actually we got lost in the repetitive terrain for a couple of times, and I almost fell from the slope because the ground is actually too soft with drenched mud… One heaven lot of surprises.

Another element that dominates the jungle : Leeches. Yeah right, who would care about some little creatures which crawl around, eyeless, and only want some food?? Well, to add to your horror, ONE, it sucks blood. TWO, you might mistaken it for a small branch most of the time. THREE, it has some infar-red detector where they can sense blood from afar. FOUR, they close in when they acknowledged your presence, which answers the question why leeches becomes more and more from time to time. FIVE, they will not get of you until they savoured enough of your blood, lest you have salt on you, which is kinda effective against leeches. SIX, they fall from the SKY!!! That explains some of the bites on my friends neck and hands etc. Well, I got two bites, one on palm and another on my tummy, which I can’t explain how does the leech get to me. Well, one reminder, remember to tug your pants into your socks, and shirt into your pants the next time… or If you wanna go extreme, you can wear head protector. XD

As we ascended upwards the terrain gets kinda rocky and the plants turns from greenwood to some fern species, which indicates that we’re very much on the top. And voila, welcome to the top! =) The view is suppose to be awesome but sadly the post-rain-mist makes the view a huge bit un-marvelous… And so we went down after having some rest and enjoying the misty-view. But all in all, it’s a very enriching and unforgettable journey.

p.s. Should I write a fiction or something like that?? Suddenly got the craving to do so..

Science and Faith

2011-11-14T18:08:00.001-08:00

An atheist professor of Philosophy was speaking to his class on the problem Science has with GOD. He asked one of his new Christian Students to stand and . . .

Professor : You are a Christian, aren't you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD good ?

Student : Sure.

professor: Is GOD all powerful ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn't. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

Professor: You can't answer, can you ? Let's start again, young fella. Is GOD good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does satan come from ?

Student : From . . . GOD . . .

Professor: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn't it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer.)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn't.

(The lecture theatre became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it is, were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.

Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?

(The class broke out into laughter. )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Professor: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir . . . Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.

P.S.

I believe you have enjoyed the conversation. And if so, you'll probably want your friends / colleagues to enjoy the same, won't you?

Forward this to increase their knowledge . . . or FAITH.

By the way, that student is Albert Einstein! :)

Dear John

2011-11-12T05:08:00.001-08:00

~"Dear John," the letter read. and with those two words, a heart was broken and two lives changed forever. When Savannah Lynn Curtis comes into his life, John Tyree knows he is ready to turn over a new leaf. An angry rebel, he had enlisted in the army after high school, not knowing what else to do. Then, during a furlough, he meets Savannah, the girl of his dreams. The attraction is mutual and quickly grows into the kind of love that leaves Savannah vowing to wait for John while he finishes his tour of duty. But neither can foresee that 9/11 is about to change the world. Like so many proud men and women, John must choose between love and country, Now, when he finally returns to North Carolina, John will discover how love can transform us in ways we never could have imagined...~

If you open up your eyes and see, you can see that life is never full of happy endings. Sometimes, however strong the love can be, something will might happened and changes everything. This is what the book which i read about recently tries to say.

I never expected that the story will ended this tragic way, so tragic that i hate the story more than ever, got disappointed by how Savannah threw "I know that sounds like an excuse, but please believe me that i didn't mean to fall in love with someone else. If don't really understand how it happened, how can you??" and left with a broken-up John Tyree. I hate how John reacted to the crisis, trying so hard to change everything back to normal again but to no avail. I hate the reality of the world, that someone as wonderful as Savannah would have become someone so vicious and heartless. I hate why can I put myself in John's place because everything he went through feels so real to me, and it hurts.

Savannah is just so wonderful and adorable, and always kind and so goody-goody, even I fell in love with her as i read the novel at first. Everything was so wonderful, and it would merely be enough to say that it's perfect. But what happened later?? Why John had to get through all these desperations which no one will ever understands?? I find out that i can emphatized John Tyree easily as if i being through everything with him, or put it in another way, as if i've been through it myself.

As if I know how wonderful it is to have someone as wonderful as paradise, and it seemed you need nothing else in the world, except for the one you cared the most in your arms.

As if I know how it feels when all you need is just a simple promise, and it is the only thing that you can hold on to when everything falls apart

As if I know how it feels when something had changed between the two of you. Love is still strong, but it's losing the magical mortar that holds it together. And you became so desperate that you tried everything and breaks your nerves so that you can save everything back to normal again, but deep down in your heart you know that everything will soon go far worst.

As if I know how disappointment struck when you tried your hardest trying to change yourself, to suit the situation. But the as the more you try, the more it breaks, and you can only blame yourself,

As if i understand the excruciating remorse when someone whom you're holding so dear to slipped away from your arms, leaving you hopeless and lifeless. The reality that the harder you hold on to grains, the easier it slipped between your fingers.

As if i am John Tyree, and i am living in the same fear as he is in.

Everything in the books is just unbearably torturing and i can't take the fact that promises are meant to be broken and it ends just as a relationship ends.

Anyway, well done to Nicholas Sparks, who drew all the pain from my past, bath me with all the regrets again, and teaches me to live out of it. It is a very well written book.

11.11.11

2011-11-11T04:43:00.001-08:00

Time flies. And herewe are, coming to this point of continuum, not going back. Thinking back, everwonder what had we achieved, and what had we beaten, and what had we sacrificedfor the sake of something of greater good??

So far, so good,having lots of thing to do in a little time recently. Having Déjà vu’s everynow and then from the past life. What is it?? Is it something coming from mypast life?? Or just a state of mind?? Exam coming around the corner, yearcoming to an end, and a greater challenge is right ahead, what’s my game plan??What’s my way of living for the year ahead??

When I viewed back mypast years blogposts I am suddenly disappointed by how hard it is to convey andidea now comparing to my younger years. I have this kind of in-fluency that Ican’t explain, as I stared into my old Vibrant posts that can stir up emotions,that drew reader’s empathy. Why, I asked, and my hollow soul echoed, as thesound ricocheted in the walls within me. I guess I had lost all my sense ofhumour or humourousity that used to make me an interesting person. Well, Istarted to become dull and sometimes not funny at all (and at times people willjust look at me and not laugh when I talked), is it because of the society thatI am in?? Or am I getting more and more boring and monotonous?? I wonder.

Redefinition stillgoes on, and I’m still in process of rectifying some of my old self attitudethat used to haunt me and back to haunt me from time to time. Exemplas Gratia,I still tend to retain my old sickening habit of having a bad tongue from timeto time. As the bible says, “tongue spits vipers”, but at times i still tend tolost my testimony by badmouthing, saying things that I shouldn’t have said, andat makes everyone uneasy. And this all brings me back to what my senior told meduring RCYU#6 committee interview, “you have to learn to be more sincere”, shesaid and the voice still rang in my ear. All this while I thought that I’velearn this lesson and had perfected, but when reality sets in I realize that Istill got a long way to learn.

And to someone whojust fell out of love, life is full of all kinds of possibilities, and this isjust one of it. I understand the feeling of terminally being in hurting andthinking all day that you will never ever ever get up again. Don’t fret myfriend, you’ll pull through somehow, I don’t know how but I just know thatyou’ll pull through. Be it another one who loved you more than the first, be ita song that revives you again, be it your family who accept you back again, Idon’t know. I just want you to know that I am silently watching from the sideand hoping that you’re well again.

And to another friendwho is ill and lost his love one recently, please hang on, this is just a testof patience and faith, and a chance to let you see what you are. Please justhang on and don’t let go.

And to those who arestill breathing the air, happy 11.11.11.

人生一场戏，戏如人生

2011-11-07T21:26:00.000-08:00

Somehow I wished I cantalk to you again.
Part of me thinks that we shouldn’t have ended this way,
At least, I shouldn’t have hate you, and you shouldn’t have hate me.

Shall we put this inan orderly way,
Name your reasons,
And I tell you mine,
Maybe you will forgive me,
And I will not think so badly about you.

Whatever thathappened, I’ve forgive and forget
Guess there’re always pieces
That adds up
That makes up
What we are today.

...

那晚梦到你了
来的真是很突然
看着你，说话也有些尴尬

我想，
到底可不可以回到以前
我们可以畅谈如初？？
可以吗？？

有时，
我希望可以再和你说话。

思念如燕
它飞舞舌尖…
二零一零年八月十一日

Three Dots

2011-11-02T18:26:00.000-07:00

At times when all our strength is drained, we need a source to power-up,a place for us to get refreshed and start anew. Can it be a friend, a song, aGod, or even a lover. All in all, being strong is not just about getting overobstacles from time to time, but to get up whenever we fall down.

I know I’m notstrong enough to be,

Everythingthat I’m supposed to be

I give up, I’mnot strong enough

Hands of mercywon’t you cover me?

Lord, rightnow I’m asking you to be

Strong enough,strong enough

For the bothof us

...

Ipoh is agreat place actually, not so nice, but with awesome food.

Taking off…And careful when you sleep…

Oops.

Super highclass toilet

Ancient trainterminal with over 100 years old history

Of course, thetrip wouldn’t be whole without scrumptious food :

凤爪

怡保鸡

芽菜鸡

Michelangelopizza, only in Ipoh

芒果冰，芋头冰

YUM YUM！！

杂果冰

Luckily werealized how big our apettite was, as compared to other table of friends….*burp*

早餐：点心

爷爷泡的茶，有种味道叫做家…..

大牌火锅

烧腊

炭烧白咖啡

PLUS eggtart…

Not forgettingSunway Lagoon @Tambun…

Gettingadmission using staff ticket. XD

Fun Times….

And finally,on the way back home.

人生几何

2011-10-27T07:14:00.000-07:00

Psychological Facts:

When you dreamt of someone in your dream, that person in real life is actually missing you.

When I come across this fact, I am almost being tricked into believe that this whatever crappy-facts are true. Indeed, it’s not TRUE, thanks for those people who make FBs a way to spread fake infos. Anyway, I am wondering how stupid or crazy I have been by testing out this theory by experimenting on this theory, which I later found out, not true at all.

…

有多久了？？

有多久没有用华语写部落格了？？

想想也有许久了吧

每次用华语都觉得有种莫名的畅流感
直至就像流水一样流了出来
说有的心情，思想就出来了
用华语，真好。

（看不懂华语的朋友们，抱歉了。）

不知怎的，
有些事情久了，会麻木的
就像在这里一样
读书，吃，睡，上课，读书，吃，睡
读书，吃，睡，上课，读书，吃，睡
读书，吃，睡，上课，读书，吃，睡
读书，吃，睡，上课，读书，吃，睡
玩
读书，吃，睡，上课，读书，吃，睡
读书，吃，睡，上课，读书，吃，睡
读书，吃，睡，上课，读书，吃，睡
。。。
。。。
。。。
。。。

忘了人生所有点点滴滴的乐趣
路边的一朵小花
迷人的晨霞
甲的回眸一笑
乙突如其来的一个冷笑话
与丙的一席谈
都看来当什么了？？
看来我，
不
我们都麻木了

麻木在争夺当第一的世界里
麻木在当万人迷的世界里
麻木在人，事，物惨杂的漩涡里
麻木了
忙了
茫了
盲了

回头一看，
多少东西我们希望可以重头来过
多少对话我们希望从没有发生过
多少时光我们希望可以永留
多少人
我们希望可以在他的生命里留下一些痕迹
但是迟了
没机会了

回头一看，
发现人生就像没笔擦的写作一样，
写错了
就迟了
回头？？
不可能。
只好继续写下去
写写写写写写写写。。
写到那张纸的尽头。
看到写错的
还可以补救吗？？
不能。
纸上的对对错错既是人生。

朋友问：“为什么不回家？？”
我不懂要给什么答案。
我想，
被绑久了，一飞就要冲天
绑得越紧，
肌肉就越发达
飞得就越高
我记得我曾经这样说过，

现在，

我正在翱翔。

Sadistic

2011-10-23T10:06:00.000-07:00

Whatsup peeps!!! It’s Deepavali!!

In the occasion of this holiday our class, like most of other classes did, persuaded teachers to cancel our classes for the week so that we can enjoy the one week holiday and perhaps go home for some of us who’s suffering from dreading homesick. And voila, we got ourselves a one-week holiday.

However, to some lost cause we lose it all.

Of all the teachers, only our IELTS (one of the language subject) teacher is not convinced with the whole class-cancelling thing and insist that we attend her class, which most of the student refuse to oblige. Then the whole disaster begins.

So this particular teacher bring the whole matter up to the teacher’s meeting and humiliated our teacher for that, for showing compassion and letting us to have break in the midst of pact studying schedule (even if we have classes the lecturer will just keep on have their class cancelled, I don’t know, college culture??). And so our teacher told us that the class had to go on as usual, while other classes can have their breaks.

And I’ve learnt to spell the word “Sadistic”.

…

She. I really can’t figure out what’s with her. At times she’s good and at times she’s bad, or worse, or worst. I’m really scared to reach out for her, fearing that I will get “scolded” for talking to her. I wonder, what’s in her mind and what’s bothering her all the while.

What are you thinking?? All those times when you sit alone there, as of thinking about life and get depressed over it, feeling as if you can go through it alone. Do you need help?? Do you need a ear?? You emo-ing really freaks me out, seriously, do you need someone to be there for you??

But, one thing I know that she’s one special kind made by God to magnify his name. And he’s going to have some plans for her, just a matter of time.

I couldn’t tell you
Why she felt that way
She felt it everyday
I couldn’t help her
I just watch her make the same mistake again

What’s wrong, What’s wrong now??
Too many, too many problem??
Don’t know where she belongs
Where she belongs.

Duh

2011-10-19T17:41:00.000-07:00

All my life I taught myself that everyone is different, each with a delicate profile of characteristics, a one of a kind being. All the while when I’m dealing with all sorts of people, I keep on remind myself that people have their own styles and uniqueness, and we should not deny their existence as a different being. For me, that’s what makes people different, that’s what makes the world “different”. Not just being different, but literally different, in the sense of everyone is unique in their way.

God made everyone not the same. You knew from the starting of your life you’re going through meiosis, your genes, chromosomes which determines your traits are varied from time to time so that it is guaranteed a new, different organism will be born. As the result, we became homo sapiens with difference, different phenotype or genotype, or even both, different character and attitude. There would not be another me in a one per Gazillion possibility. I feel great for that, that we’re very different afterall, and that I can always be who I am, different from everybody.

Yes, I admit that I’m loud, talkative, non-stopping, and at times hilarious and lame but at the same time funny in some monotony sense. I also seriously consider the fact that I possess the most unique mode of thinking of all, and none of the normal earthlings shall ever have the same mind as me. Yes, I think of things that other people will never think of. I read people. I read minds. I usually try to manipulate minds using words and facial expressions. I analyze people and their reaction in other to get what they are thinking, and break down their mental defense. Yes, sometimes I’m sarcastic. Sometimes I’m solemn and cold. Sometimes I act not-normal in the eyes of you all (people who thinks I’m weird). And sometimes I say things which people will never understand.

I never ever treated my difference with most of the people as something that I should be shame of, something that I should hide up and adapt to the normal community. Yes, I realize that keeping such authenticity will cause me a great deal of difficulty to be close to people, yes I’m well aware of that. But I chose to keep what makes me special of all, being me.

“I cannot make changes according to what you want in order to get this job. I am Sorry. You keep your job, I will keep my attitude.”

~Raju Rastogi~

One thing however, I hate it when people denies my own personality, as if I cannot be who I am supposed to be. Though I maybe weird, but don’t you think you should pay me the same respect as a different person as I have respected you?? I accept the fact that you’re different from me and I may not appreciate how you behave, and I tolerated. Then, can you do the same for me, as a repay of my respect?? It’s not only me who needs to say “It’s okay”, you too.

Yes, say what you want, an act to cover my own weakness or my reluctance to turn from evil, you’re at your liberty. But I am going to stay the same, you keep your comments, and I’ll keep my attitudes.

...

可能我的疯狂暂时不得到原谅
可是我知道啊
可是我明白啊
是我的执着博来在你面前歌唱
唱出我的梦想
唱出
我的

荒

唐

A night of tears and reunion

2011-10-15T23:01:00.000-07:00

He sat there quietly, phone in his hands.

Occasionally he would respond to the flickering light of the handphone, Short Messages Service, I guess, and start typing away on the shiny white keypad, as it reflected the light from the bus window.

He’s still silent and I wonder why. And I wonder why he keeps looking out into the window which have no fascinating view, only shrubs and bushes, as if he’s hiding his face from me, or just anybody. And the weirdest of all is, he doesn’t even talk, or make sounds as he is capable of. I mean, he always talk and talk and talk and talk and practically won’t stop, and he’s usually the non-emo cherry guy. Why wasn’t him talking?? Something bothering him on the phone?? The phone vibrated again, another message.

As I try to look for signs and to make some sense of what’s going on, he suddenly turned to me and said, “it’s damn hot right now”. I almost gasped as I saw something dangling at the edge of his eyes, something crystalline, tears. He barely met my eye and turned back, staring out into the window again, silently. I regained my breath and wondered. Why is he tearing up on a trip to a grand dinner, something to do with the messages on that phone?? What’s up, what’s going on?? The phone vibrated again, he checked the message and quickly turned away towards the window. I manage to make out some words from the phone screen, certainly knowing that violating other people’s privacy is really not good, but dude, this is my friend here and I got every right to get to know what’s wrong with him.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry….”

What was sorry, and who was sorry?? I suddenly became clueless of what had happened. But I know, I understand the feeling of holding tears, of forcing oneself not to cry. Looking at him is a clear omen that he’s totally not okay. But he didn’t say anything, still looking out onto the window. I wonder if he is hiding his tear-drenched face from everyone?? This is certainly not a good time to feel like this, now we’re on our way to the dinner for Sarawakians at the Putra World Trade center, and I don’t know how can I help my dear friend there, I think I can hear him scream.

Help me. I want to cry. I am not okay.

...

So we have this Dinner for sarawakians sponsored by our beloved CM, Taib Mahmud @ the Putra World Trade Center. Did i hear they greet him as " Yang Amat ~~Berbohong"~~ instead of "Yang Amat Berhormat"??

They said KTT people are freshly from the jungles, so i guess we must have been really excited to be invited to such occasion. Well, fresh from oven!!! Jungleman!

They even set the tables up till the entrance

Unique structure made from papers... or transparent papers

Well, anyway, we managed to pass our times by looking at some of the artwork displayed at the gallery :

Does this look familiar to you all?? I bet you can find some of the ex-PM faces in the pics. Go figure..

And some of the "interesting" pics available on the occasion :

Oh ya, that dude is actually my classmate....

Fascinated by the 3D structure of the building

And well, since the CM is sponsoring us for dinner so i expect it to be really grand and luxurious since he's the ~~*erkhem* richest guy in the world *erkhem*~~ but who knows?? things are not as it looks.

Wait a minute, is that NAsi Putih in the Menu!!?? O.o

All the waiter here looks like PATI , i wonder if that's one of the strategy to cut cost??

Well, it's a great feeling to know that our own states' flag is flying all over the hall. Awesome.

In case you don't know who this is, This is Taib. =) Say HI

I don't know who this is, only knowing that she's from AKADEMI FANTASIA. and that dude on the left is soft...

Friends Reunion
and we come together to reunion.

AND SPECIALLY FEATURING.....

The guy who got over prouded because he shook Taibs hand... ==

Paranoicidal

2011-10-14T18:12:00.000-07:00

Studying isn’t a really good thing actually,the more you study, the more you got stuck in it actually. That’s what happenedto me, infact I think most of the people lately. I’ve now reach the state ofinactivity where I don’t know what actually to study, not to say that actuallyI’m awesome or what, but I’ve read through what the teacher had covered so farand I felt bored everytime I flipped open the chapters which the teacher hadtaught.

I think it’s time for me to pick up the pastyears and start reading. I think it’s time for a breakthrough out of thetextbooks.

…

Great Separation. Day Two.

Try imagine a situation when you can’t spend timewith your dear old friend. Some ordeal. Some obstacles. Some situations.Necessary sacrifice had to be made. A dear friend. It feels really frustratingwhen you can no longer spend your time with your friend at will and be close tothem, just because of some unwanted problems. It’s exhausting when you can nolonger do what you usually do to gain closeness with friend, and at the sametime you’re not adapting because it had become part of your routine already, toput it in a more serious term, part of your life.

Sad as it may be, the only thing that you cando is to submit into your destiny.

And oh ya, you are told to wait, and waitingwill be what you’ll be doing.

p.s. Willupload some colourful stories soon, I guess these psychotic analogy will kill ofthe readers soon…

Sad case

2011-10-11T00:52:00.000-07:00

Before

After

Yes, you guys hadcertainly got it right, at least to those of you who are not dumb, I had ahaircut. =) From the look of it you can see that the length is shortened for agreat deal, that I would no longer call it “hair” instead I’ll call it “shorthair”. Weird isn’t it?? Try imagining the whole class consisting of 27classmates laughed in unison as you stepped into the class with the new Mohawkhairstyle. How drastic that change could be?? I feel so naked in the flaky air.

Hmm…

Just you wait. Waittill it gets long and nice.

…

Please tell me whatyou think about melodramas.

It’s actually soapopera that contain lots of emo-scenes and emotional lines and bla bla bla,mostly circling around love, friendship, and family themes. Sometimes youcould just indulge in it but sometimesyou’ll just get sick and can’t bare the story line that you would want to slamthe TV shut. In a nutshell, most of us think that these stories are just“fictional, and anything similar will just be merely coincidental”. But hey, Ifound one.

Say there’s this girlwho loved you deeply, and is really your type, and she would do anything to bewith you. It sounded like a perfect ending right, story is just about to start.Sadly, you’re the one who doesn’t appreciate her love and always complaint herfor her imperfection, though small, but imperfections. She got disappointedoccasionally but still keep up to her love vow, and yet you still complaint andmade her days more and more miserable, not realizing that what you’re doing isgoing to cause ordeal in the future, and worsemore the wakeup call is still faraway.

Will it be too late??

Will all the mistakesbe forgiven??

Kinda emo is it?? Thisis that I called “real-life melodrama”. At least I say it’s a lot better thansitcoms where you can hear idiots laughing when you’re trying to focus on whatthe characters trying to say.

But, I really hope theboy will come to his senses soon and start to treat the one who care for him.Or else, he won’t be forgiving himself when everything is too late. Sure, it’stime to change for him.

…

Whenever I imagined myself to be happy
In a lovely landscape sketch,
I will
find
YOU
and me
together
In the beautiful picture.

久违了

2011-10-05T21:01:00.000-07:00

久违了

失望

是多么就没有感受到了

多么的深刻

多么的刻骨铭心

就一次

从此被你改观

你

和你

让我失望了

你们还敢称自己是基督徒？？

背着人作这种东西？？

你们还管天上的哪一位天父吗？？

你们破坏的

不只是与神的关系

还有其他关心你的人

甚至是我的关系

对不住

你们太让我失望了

...

The syndrome drew on,somehow I realize that it intensifies from the time I realize that it iscorroding me, bits by bits. I’m astonished myself at how I view people thesedays. No, I am not exaggerating. I’m just so shocked that I changed a lot aftercoming into this education institute.

Is it selectiveMutation??

Is it adaptation tothe surrounding to ensure survival??

Now I start to readpeople more and more, their gestures,their emotions, their reactions, even aflick of eye, or a roll of the iris is not missed. What caused this muchdetails?? Do they actually matter?? Or am I making myself crazy slowly?? Deepdown in my heart, I think I know that everyone is facing the same trouble too,to find a ground to stand on in this place. To be recognized, to beacknowledged their humble existence. Everyone craves to be somebody, not anobody.

Not to be just some Joshua, but THE JOSHUA.

Is this some psychetheory?? I wonder.

...

Everysecond lapsed by is another moment of me missing you

Everydrops from the sky is a pounding wish to see you

Everychirp of bird you hear is a melody I sang for you

Aboutour story

Aboutyou

Aboutme

Aboutyou and me

Death Silence

2011-09-30T09:30:00.000-07:00

Breath in
Breath out
A moment to think
A lapse second of ponder
A dwindling thought
Fading away in and out

A dark drape envelop over the sky
Shining celestials bring glimpse of hope
Only to be swept away the next moment
Into nothingness
Into sorority
Into the world of anger, betrayal, and intriguing dark emotions

Cricket croons no sound
As if silenced by the absence of the wind
Dead silence echoes
Lost hearts pounding
Banging away in the mad world

Phantom of Beauty dreams
Shattered
Destroyed
Vanquished
Relinquished
What’s left??
Please
Abandon all hope

He tears
He cries
He howls into the tired night
Gone
Begone
Hearts shattered into pieces once more.

Supposedly

2011-09-29T02:41:00.000-07:00

As timepassed I realized that I’ve changed again, in the process of redefining myself.I got kinda emotional at times, and most of the time I did a lot of thinking,though most of the time I was putting up a jolly face in front of everybodyelse. At times I realize that thinking about how people reacting to stuffs,having a certain mentality, or trying to figure why people react to certaincircumstances is better than wasting time crapping about shallow stuffs.

At the sametime, with all these special people around in the college, I manage to getalong with lots of unique but weird but awesome but sometimes distressingpeople and manage to get a better look of life through their point of view.Why, I always ask myself, are they having such a thought/personality??

Maybe deepdown in their heart they have this secret that is buried that no one will ever know.

Maybe it’sthis secret that altered the natural personality that I used to see in everyoneelse in primary school or early secondary years.

Maybe Iknow all this because I’m like them too.

Maybe deepdown in my heart there are secrets that no one will ever know.

From timeto time I will doubt people intentions and desperately crying out for theirmost truthful side of them. I mean, why does a certain people do this??

People says “Oh, it’s because he’s doing thisjust because of this particular reason”. Okay, sounds fair enough. But why am Idoubting that simple ~~excuse~~ reason and believe that there’s something deeperwithin?? Will further analyzing do me any good?? Or will it just prove to mesolely that human nature are as ugly as it is not supposed to be??

Maybe thisare the things that makes people to start to get complicated. And maybe that’swhy people are getting more and more weird as they grew.

It’s sorta like a redefinition perhaps??

Little things in life

2011-09-26T22:59:00.000-07:00

If any little word of ours

Can make one life the brighter,

If any little song of ours

Can make one heart the lighter.

God help us speak that little word,

And take our bit of singing

And drop it in some lonely vale,

And set the echoes ringing

Medieval Vallay

2011-09-25T17:45:00.000-07:00

Erkhem... A quick Update.

*drum roll*

Ladies and gentlemen, behold the awesome post that you're not gonna see twice in your life....

*TADA!*

Outing to Midvalley Megamall @KL

Mickey Jigsaw Puzzle

And then we arrived at this shop where there's this dark room where all the jigsaw puzzles will glow in the dark, even JJ's white shirt glows (actually the ultraviolet light will do the trick).

Then we're so excited and got so crazy that we start to snapshot around in the room, ending up being scolded by the shop attendant, twice for the same reason : taking pics in the shop. But i mean, what's wrong if we're actually advertising for you?? We're too young to be your competitors who would want to steal your ideas... = = Great. Now you've earn your bad name.

Then we had our Lunch. PORK BURGER. It's really amazing that pork had become a very special thing in this pork-less place. Great taste anyway, with some fairly disheartening price..

Noticed something??? Jon striked nothing seven times in a roll. XD

Guess which one is me??

Another surprise for the day : met a couple professional models taking pics along the way. And all of them was like, 10-20 cm taller than me?? *gasp*

And yet another surprise, we went into this chili's grill and got sliced and diced by the expensive dishes we had there.. And the service is pretty awesome and "professional" too.. In the end we only managed to share the tacho chips among four of us... = =

And here comes the end of the post. Hope you enjoy..

*curtain closes*

Outta Quota

2011-09-21T06:15:00.000-07:00

It is really frustrating when some wireless broadband service that you're using turned your back against you. And in the end i have to end up in the College resource centre a.k.a library so that i can blog and manage my sosial websites. Hmm... let's see, from what i remember the broadband service provided the following terms :

Fair Internet speed up to 512 kbps. (which is kinda good for me as a student who doens't have any special need such as ~~watching porn~~, video streaming, gaming, and yada-yada stuffs that you can do on the net that requires superb internet speed)
Data Quota up to 1 GB. (Well... I wonder how much is that since i have no understanding on how do we use the data up... But it sounds really awesome cause f~~rom what i've learn from physics~~ Gigabyte = 10-to-the-power-of-9 bytes.)
Reduction of 50% internet speed in case of over-quota usage (ever wonder why i highlighted the 50 % part?? You'll soon know. =3 )

Sounds pretty good right?? Well i could only say that things promised when people sell you stuffs/service are totally different from what they first promise. This is what they call MARKETING STRATEGY. Ya, you heard it and i'll say it again. MARKETING STRATEGY.

So the story starts when i first use my broadband and naturally it's kinda OKAY. Then upon entering the third month of the usage of that particular broadband service i found out that my quota had been used up at the early start of the month. ( DX, i never know why i used it up so fast, maybe is it because i indulged in onlining during the Holiday??) And so, i continued to used it, but the worst nightmare awaits as it lurks around the corner....

And there it goes, SUPER "AWESOME" internet speed. I can't even open my facebook account??? It's like the greatest torment ever existed for indoor geeks who lived to face the computer 24/7 and only reads from Face-books. And worse more, the speed sucks to the extent that no website can be opened?? What happened?? What i see is that :

Fair internet speed ...................for short limit of time (Wait wait wait.... is it even 384 kbps??)
Unknown amount of data quota..... i think it's less that 1 GB
Deadly slow internet speed in case you accidentally used up all the datas...

Tell me what happened?? Indeed truly an eye opener.

*gasp*

Science and Faith

2011-09-18T19:45:00.000-07:00

A question of all time : is the world created by God or formed by itself??

By looking around, there’re always clashes between Science and Religion, since the first dispute between the well known astrologist Nicholas Copernicus with the Vatican church about the question whether the earth spins around in a solar system or the sun spinning around the earth. Have you ever wondered why science and faith can never be associated together??

Maybe it’s some question with uncertain answers.

The book “Angels and Demons” is a good read regarding the megatheme of science and faith. It totally portrays the fight between the science side and the religion side in a modern warfare. The brotherhood of Illuminati VS the orthodox Vatican R.C churches, involving a new matter named “antimatter”, which is full of suspense and cliché.

Science.

Faith.

Can the two things associates together? Science created by God and science explains the God in a scientific way??

Or the two things can’t be fitted in a single file? Science proves that God is only a imaginative entity, and science is something religion say “that can lead to own destruction”??

A book worth to be read, and a huge twist is waiting at the end of the story……….

...

“Do you have children??”
“No, sir.”
“Imagine you have an eight-year-old son….. would you love him??”
“Of course”
“Would you do everything in your power to prevent pain in his life??”
“Of course.”
“Would you let him skateboard??”
“Yeah I guess… Sure, I’d let him skateboard. I’d tell him to be careful.”
“So as this child’s father, you would give him some basic, good advice and then let him go off and make his own mistakes??”
“I wouldn’t run behind him and mollycoddle him if that’s what you mean.”
“But what if he fells and skinned his knees??”
“He would learn to be more careful.”
“So although you have the power to interfere and prevent your child’s pain, you chose to show your love by letting him learn his own lesson??”
“Of course. Pain is part of growing up. It’s how we learn.”
“Exactly.”

p.s. This part is really awesome, gonna share it in revo. XD

Nostalgic

2011-09-14T02:24:00.000-07:00

Looking at the toothpaste staining the brand new toothbrush lightens my life up, for the moment.

I pushed the shaft in and out of my mouth, cleaning every corner of the teeth, clearing the disgusting layer felt earlier on. Seriously, why can the plague deposit so easily only after a meal?? Looking at the mirror I realized i'm looking at a guy with perplexed expression, foaming in his mouth.

Brushing with mint toothpaste under the hot hot sun is indeed a moment to enjoy.

taking out the shaft, i put it under the tap and turned it on.

Wait.

Maybe the water is still on its way.

Maybe there's somesort of delay, wait for a sec.

...

...

I screamed in exclamation, realizing that there's no water supply for now.

*gasp*

...

Tell me what are you thinking please??

There are times when things appear to be too good to us but behind, an awful price needs to be paid. The tragedy will just crept to your hind and stabs you hard in your back. Awful. Disdained. Pained. Hurted. You can only lie there, facing the sober truth laid in front of you. You should have see that coming.

Yea, i admitted i've been emotionally fragile these days.

Since the end of the holiday i've been struggling in juggle things around. I become very emotional, and at times got angry towards those who really care.

I'm sorry, really.

I start to run away when things starts to screw up. But the matter just got worse and worse and it didn't get better. Negatively speaking, what choice do i have aside from keep on running??

I just can't worrying..
I need a refuge, something tangible and solid for me to rely on. I need my own Haven.

"People have scars. In all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret roadmaps of their personal histories. Diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don’t. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cut’s long gone, the pain still lingers."

小雨，久违了

终于可以好好哭一场

这样

谁也看不见

我的

眼

泪

Escapade @ Swiss Garden Residence @ KL.

2011-09-12T23:21:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, i was offered a chance to escape to Kuala Lumpur to join my uncle in his wedding. He actually Booked a unit in the Swiss Garden Residence @ KL (a high class condo unit xp) to spend the weekend with his bride, as well as both my maternal grandparents and me.

If you guys hadn't get a picture of how a high class condo look like, it look like this :

The first reaction when i saw a TV in the room, i was actually dumbstrucked, as if coming across some exotic Electronic devices of all times. Sure, Television is everywhere, Plasma TV can be seen anywhere too, but absolutely not in our remote ~~jungle~~ college where we can't even hear from a radio...

OMGEEEEEE!!!! My grandma almost cut my hair!!!!! ><

Wedding NIght

How do i Look??

sweet couple

Since coming to this high class ~~6star?? 5Star??~~ 4 star condo unit, i might as well show you guys how luxurious it is. =)

Roti Canai Corner

French loafs/ Farmer Bread

American Breakfast

CocoCrunch, CornFlake, HONEYSTAR!!!! (all time favourite)
Guess which one is my fav?? =3

Pastries

p.s. I made some sandwiches for my housemates. =)

BurnOUT

2011-09-09T03:35:00.000-07:00

Following the commence of the post-holiday semester, i started my new chapter of life as the vice president of the Chinese Cultural Education Society and also the Praise and Worship coordinator for the Christian Fellowship.

Honestly speaking, it's just as what my senior had said, the whole thing is going to make you feel exhausted and tired, and you had to work really really really hard to juggle between clubs, societies, family, friends, love ones, and academics, and also God. It feels like everything needs commitment and seem like you have only limited commitment to give. A sense of helplessness and Frustration.

In the past i can stay up late and wake early like a hyperactive geek.

Now, i tend to sleep more, and i can't even wake when i'm having a short nap.

Exhaustion seems to take its toll on the body and it seem to be weakening drastically for the time being.

Stress, particularly mental stress which results from the inability to complete academic syllables on time is ruining my mood day by day.

With all new task, event, project, and plans waiting to be carried out, i can feel that I'm going to burn out very very soon.

BUT

What about the commission once pledged when we first take up the post??
What about the testimony that I promised will be shown to those who doesn't realize the blessing of the almighty??
What about the personal determination that once drives me all the way??

I seem the only choice that was left is to persist and fight hard.

But he said to me "My grace is SUFFICIENT for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" Therefore i will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that the Christ's power may rest upon me" ~2 Corinthians 12:9~

God give Paul a thorn in his body to humble him down.
The same,
God give us weaknesses in us to humble ourselves down.

p.s. Thanks for the angel who hold me up whenever i need comfort and encouragement.

Something to past the time... =)

2011-09-07T23:39:00.001-07:00

Ginsky on the move!!!

You are HUMAN if you CAN READ THIS

2011-09-02T07:34:00.000-07:00

Favoritism Indulgence

2011-08-31T04:46:00.000-07:00

He drew in a breath and out, barely noticing that his chest is heaving heavily from breath to breath. It was kinda heavy, wasn't it?? After the accident of knocking into the edge of a table in the chest one month ago, things haven't been really fully recovered. He wondered, what actually hindered the recovery?? He wondered.

Some random thought strike into his mind again, is that really true that his english vocabulary is somehow too bombastic??

He guessed no, and he again wondered why people are saying that, over and over again. Out of pure admiration?? or just mere sarcasm?? He guess no one knows that he owns a blog for four years, which became a place that provide him space of improvement.

And by the way, he Thought, how am i going to get back to KTT ?? =S

...

God works in mysterious way, so strange that we will never know when He works, and we'll never know if something that happened is his work. Weird infact, it's a mystery that we'll never uncover for the rest of our life.

Last week someone accepted Christ after some long time of consideration. She was someone whom we least expect to be a christian, but finally without us knowing, made the sinner prayer. We never expect that to happen, which explains God's wonder.

Thanks to a particular senior who didn't give up on her.

Thanks to a particular senior who work hard in reaching out to her.

And thank God for saving her.

Glory be to God.

...

有时候有时候
我会相信一切有尽头
相聚离开都有时候
没有什么会永垂不朽
可是我有时候
宁愿选择留恋不放手
等到风景都看透
也许你会陪我看细水长流~143~

Withdrawal Syndrome

2011-08-27T17:33:00.000-07:00

With the coming of the holiday I moved and stayed in with my uncle, in some sense its called "rotting", when i have nothing to do except for facing fluorescent screens and dull pages of biology and maths.

Oh ya, i lived in apartment that looked like this. Back in kuching i only manage to see people of poverty living in this kind of apartment while i myself live in a Semi-D. Now, in Kuala Lumpur, where everything is expensive, food and drinks alike, and especially accomodation, living in a house where you can step on solid ground each morning is a seemingky impossible task.

Guess how much does this kind of accomodation cost per unit??

3 guesses and i bet you're still wrong.

The answer is : 200 k++

Conclusion : I guess KL is pretty over populated which causes high demand on living quarters. Seriously, how are we going to make a living when we first step into the society??

Anyway, getting to know about the KL lifestyle :

wake late, usually around 9 - 10 something.
breakfast, then off to work
back to home after work and have dinner.
watch TV at home or went window shopping
supper at 12am and read night papers.

...

And as the post suggests, i'm now suffering from withdrawal syndrome.

I'm not used to the feeling when i woke up and realize that i was living in a closed quarter with another two guys instead of nine noisy ppl who always cause chaos in the TK29.

I'm not used to eating fancy food from kopitiam.

I very much ~~prefer~~ use to food prepared by Indian of ktt, or Ayahanda, or Mak Cik Mirah.

I'm not used to lepak in Gigantic shopping malls.

I miss the times when i stood in the minimart @ the abandoned shoplot and also Alamanda

Specially dedicating this to Jonathan Jong, Lim Ji Hui, Fan Kar Joon, Sean Lai, Lim Cheng Yi, Chong Hao Phin, Ray Edward, and Armand Kenneth.

...

多么向往到外国旅行的那一天

异国风情就是那么的迷人

一切都是那么的陌生

但优雅，奇特，

在街上走着走着

我会偶尔按一按快门

把我说看到的透过镜头捕捉下来

我觉得摄影学就是把一个地方的美呈现出来的技巧，

所以我喜欢拍照片

希望以后在异国旅行时多一个你，

我可以让你站在我的镜头里

共同制造美好的回忆

威尼斯

我们一起期待

A Country Path in Late Spring

2011-08-26T08:56:00.000-07:00

The path of mossy ground nestled
In between maternal hedgerows,
That overgrew atop, dimming down
The brilliance of the day.
Embosomed, a calm-cool vision –
Abstract takes of nature, in
Leaf-spattered green shades;
Stem-speckled brown hues;
Shards of sunlight percolating
Through the random flaws to
Up glittering sprites upon the leaves.

And avian chatter bounced along the burrow,
Smattered by the crosstalk
Of busybody insects;
But outside the green comfort zone,
Other worlds of other sounds of other life
Otherwise gave a hint of
Other dozy goings on.

Hawthorn filled the air,
Filled the nose,
Filled the head –
Pungency had overpowered all –
Gave the late-spring-early-summer haze.

Here and there a break of colour:
Odd bluebells – escapees from nearby woods –
Blue-blushing bell faces glancing down,
Aware of their erectness in the stem;
The flaming wing of red admirals
Broke through a hedge hole to
Break up the calm backdrop,
While flitting blue tits gave
To greater-bodied animation.

Nature’s warm narration –
The undertones of life.

Mark R. Slaughter

有感而发

2011-08-23T09:38:00.000-07:00

华文学会选举终于结束了。

看着新任主席难为情地回答着主席的 “你觉得你适合当主席吗？？” 问题，

心里是一阵喜乐？？
还是一时失落？？

真的是有点乱了.....

是不是为当不到主席而失落些些？？

或许有点吧。

当时真的有点不够老实。

有一点点点点点的不甘,

一小部分的不甘心。

但是我已经很满足了 =)

因为我太了解自己了

贪玩

这样的一大责任将要我牺牲多少玩乐，与朋友，家人 ~~,和爱人 ( !!! )~~ 在一起的时间？？

我其实很甘心了

我的祷告被聆听了...

"Congratulation, you're now the representative of CF (christian fellowship) in CCES (chinese cultural education society)"

学长说的这一句话，我不会忘记

真奇妙

阿爸还可以透过这样的一件事，透过我这样的一个人改变这个学院。

还记得自我介绍时说过的几句老实话：

“大家好，我是黄旭，Joshua Wong, ALL 12, 为人坦率，没有什么长处，真的是没有一个顶尖的长处。我觉得华文学会真的是一个很好的地方，把我们华人都聚在一起。我有时候觉得很好笑，为什么有些人宁愿呆在家死命背书，也不要来华文学会与大家来聚一聚。说真的，华文学会就是大家彼此的肩膀，在外地求学的一个依靠。至于做不做委员，我觉得做不做委员都可以为华文学会服务。没有什么委员部委员的。”

真的，

做了委员，

到最后因为读书不来聚会了，

岂不是比那些活跃的契友更不好？？

我觉得，身为一个领导者, 我们根本没有什么资格评价自己的领导能力，领导能力是别人说给的评价。

对，这次当上了副主席，真有够忙的了....

Shrei

2011-08-21T08:13:00.000-07:00

Things get pretty uneventful when you're used to a new place, especially when all the fun things start to fade away.

Was it because the new environment changes into something that's not so up-to-expectation??

Or was it because that anticipation is dying??

disputable.

Try think, you're standing there, everything lies infront of your eye. Same old thing. The same monotony, the same thing, all the same. You started to Wonder. Why is this intriguing when i first come?? Why are all this stuff interesting and fun to enjoy at first and slowly lost its flavour??

Your fake smile crooked.

Your fist clenched.

You just realized that you're lost your pokerface.

You've just realized that you're very naked and invulnerable.

Frankly speaking, college is really a place full of genius ppl. All sorts of weird dude and dudes.

I am now exposed to all kind of people, kinds that i've never seen before. Kinds that i've never encountered with before.

I wonder, is these people the product this suffocating, bustling city life??

Is the society putting too much stress on normal people, and in the end render them abnormal??

Disputable.

...

Anyway, holiday is coming soon. =) *happy*

I guess i'll stay at home, do some studies ~~and plant some mushrooms (if you get the joke)~~ and at the same time do some thing that actually contributes to this world, not to me alone.

I'm given a week. To things on my own, and to prove that i have genuine time management ability.

People ask me why ain't i going home back in kuching??

I tell them that my dad told me not to go back cause the air fare is too expensive.

As a matter if fact, this is very true. (Someone goes back with air ticket worth RM600, which is lot more compare to a month of allowance given by the goverment!!!)

Hola, Kuala Lumpur!!

Joshua is going to seek sanctuary in you this holiday!!!!

Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir and Batin.

p.s. Why do we need to remove the battery cell if we were to use it for long term and through A.C. current?? are we going to spoil it??

p.p.s. Right..... This is the true spoon guy not me!!! I AM NOT THE SPOON GUY!!!

p.p.p.s. When is the goverment giving me money???!!!! I'm going to enter the state of property soon...

p.p.p.p.s. Why is horror stories so interesting?? What potential does it have which let a bunch of guys consist of 5 nerds to indulge in it?? Tell me why!!??

p.p.p.p.p.s. Can i have you in my dream tonight. please??

Vicarius Fili Dei

2011-08-15T08:48:00.000-07:00

Recently i had a meaningful conversation with some newly-met friend.

How does people get their egoism from??

From my point of view, it's forms when someone lives in the environment where he never had a chance to taste the feeling of losing. That's ego.

"Don't worry, it's good that you realized it, at least you have a chance to change. At least you'll know what you're lacking and you'll work for a change."

And another friend said.

"How does the Extra Terrestrial Life form forms?? I believe that the world had undergone many times of the "End of The World". Each time, a small part of the human manage to find away to escape to the outer space using unknown technology and continue their life in the outer planet. There, they adapt to the environment and undergone physical change. There it goes, voila, aliens in our understandings."

...

Now i finally learn to put faith in God into practice.

God said if we put God as the top priority in our life, every other aspect of life will slowly fall into places, relationship with other people, academics, career, social life.... eccetera eccetera..

So, have faith.

Give God a chance. Let Him transform your life into something awesome.

....

以前的我真的是太蠢了，

太纯了

太蠢了

现在，

一切回不到从前，

不可能了，

希望你非常清楚以前

你所做的

决定

因为是你先放弃的

至少我低声下气挽留过你

现在，

我很快乐。