舍不得

Okay, got myself a haircut. Got the sudden tingle sensation that i look weird... actually i do??

One thing for sure, i sweat a lot after having my cut. == Anti-climatic




BEFORE
Featuring Alkan Bong and Rooster Lim (bestie in primary school)
（actually there's another pic but it really look stupid， so.... SCREW IT)




AFTER
okay, this is really stupid.

....

是的，时间到了
是时候收拾
离开。



好像都不是我收拾ler....
两老有心了...
还有那个常常出门，讲自己很pro的老妹.
谢谢你们了...

分开是为了让我独立，
看来家里的吵闹声要减少很多了...
接下来，
你们都有耳根清净了...

说起来真的是很好笑，
你们一定是很舍不得的吧？？
以后我只能偶尔回来坐一坐了，
在以后，
你们要来我家坐一坐了。
时间老爷就是那么荒谬，
我要离开家了。
请保重。共同的回忆i就让时间把他们留住吧。
回来时，你们也要一样健康。


两个瓜花了一大笔钱买了这个，原来他们不知道我已经有了一把。 ==
更他们说我买的那把只有 20 块， 他们说他们的不只酱便宜。
听了就想骂他们

“APUH！！！！ 这么贵的东西也敢买！！”

他们说要饿肚子两个星期了... 天啊... 对不起良心。
><
谢谢你们，骂不出口了，我呆了。
除了谢谢还是谢谢。


还有这个，温馨的一个卡片。WA.... LOve it very much.
真的没有预料到...
还假假叫我“等一下”，“等一下”, 差一点就不要载你们回家了。

哈哈。Thank you. =)

发现
原来我已经在不同的人的生命中
留下不同的脚印。

影响
改变
留下留恋
留下回忆

带走的

是喜

是悲

是乐

是忧

不好意思，

我看到了，

看到你红了的双眼,

离愁伤感涌了出来。

你满脸的不舍，

映出了我们同窗两年的同甘共苦，

饭菜铺,

一起的日子，我没有忘记

我也不会忘记。

伤感没错

你要保重

我才能放心去飞

你也要放心去飞

我们一起飞

拥抱了，要放开...

不舍只会带来更多伤悲。

有缘的话，不久再见。

还有人

不舍的

不要为我感到伤悲

我走了

一定还有其他人可以代替我的

这是我相信的

一个可以信任的人走了

还会有其他可以信任的人

至少我们还可以保持联络

一个人的时候

也要继续奋斗

无依无靠的时候

不代表我们输了

要记得天上的哪一位老大

祂比一切都厉害

不是我厉害

Even as we go far away, all alone in this world, there's that present from you, that matching friendship bracelet. That wish will definitely come true - that wish that links us. It still hasn't been broken. I want to believe in it.

请相信我

明天

当我离开时

我会给你们看我最兴奋

最快乐

最迫不及待的样子

我不要大家感到沉重

我也答应我自己

我不哭

看着我的笑脸

请记得

我的心里

比你们的每一位都沉重

我的脸骗得到你

但是我的话是不会说谎的

2011 年 6 月 25 日

1.51 am

不舍入睡

今天

我要翱翔拥抱世界

朋友们

看好了

我要飞了

看好了

p.s. to those three daughter whom i picked up from the drain, in a microphone box, i won't adopt other daughters out there.... rest assured. =)

Countdown : 2 DAys

I usually go around and spread the fact that i'm extremely bad at arts and I failed from form 1 till now.

Actually it's very very true.

So, here's some of the prove, just in case you don't believe my honest confession :

Disclaimer : This is strictly not for the Faint-Hearted






Pretty Bad isn't it??
Look, ART don't know me
And i certainly don't know it.

...

So back here to me who's currently in the leaving mood. These days the sorority upon leaving is starting to sink in, as well as the anticipation to start a whole new life.

Well, Farewell by farewell.... Only helps in building up my emo-ism.

Anyway..

Thanks for a fun, crappish night i have in Spring.
Sorry, the sugarbun girl isn't so pro at photo taking after all, I'm sorry Lawrence...


My beloved youth,
For all the prayer, tears, and blessings.




And my fellow Disciple classmates, Thank you for spending money on sending me away..
And all those prayers, luck-wishing.
Thought you guys are "slightly" older than me, I value you all like my brother and sisters.

Thank you all.

...

Please put the blame on me if you think that I'm reasoning too much.

I'm sorry because i'm very sensible at heart, I love to guess, to analyse why people thinks and why are they doing something, and using my intuition to judge people's reaction on a particular matter.

So, i'm freaked out. I'm freaked out at myself.

It's because i seemed to have figured out about homo sapien too much.

The physical and emotional pattern of the humans, i'm sorry i'm pretty familiar with all of that, not to say that i've completely grasp the knowledge.

So that's why they say "如果你真正了解人类, 那将是一个非常可怕的事情"??

Maybe I should take psychology instead.

I Don't know you,

And certainly regret that i didn't spend much time to understand

Your predicament,

Your Problems,

Your thoughts,

Your Attitude.

Now...

Tell Tale

Yes, while I am talking to you, I stared into the sky.
Darn, it's really really nice.
Specs of golden smudges scattered around the evening sky.
Shoots under my seasonal Christmas tree.
Splendid.



I wonder,
How will the sky look like when I reach there in Sepang??
Darker??
Richer??
For one thing i got pretty sure with,
I'm going to miss it here.

Since when staring into the sky releases me from all kind of emotional burden??
Just by looking into it i feel so free, dreading i can dive up into the sky
The paradise of cotton candy cloud.
Time seem to froze, and i can look at it all i want.

It's something you can't enjoy in this fast-paced world, but for me i can. =)

"Ooo!! Ooo!!! One of the cloud looks like an ox!!"
"Haha... Our cloud here looks......... So random."
"LOL!!! Our cloud here looks like.... ERm....... Cloud!! Just for laugh gags. =D"

Coming to serious thought. I seriously, consciously know that i still have 4 more days until I'll leave this place. There's so much things undone, including packing, farewell, bla blas. Can i leave this place without any worries?? Could I??

To quote Rusk Hopelet from "life is a story" :

Sigh, guess this is my last week huh. Gotta do everything i wanna do. This place wouldnt be my place of shelter for the next couple of years, but this place will always be my home.

Yes, Kuching will always be my HOME.

And i promised myself that i won't cry.

Coming to think of it?? Since when Homo Sapiens need to dress up to become branded??
We're advancing into a world of shameful pretense.

People make up to look beautiful.
People study to become prestigious.
People buy branded to become fashionable.
People hide who they really are just so that they can be accepted by the gruesome society.

Why hide??
Spare the Skepticism.
We are one genuine artwork by our maker.
There's no need to decorate ourselves so that we become "Branded"
You're one of the special kind.

Can I be in your dream tonight??
Can i dream of you tonight??

p.s. So in love with a poem right now..

Kuching Youth Chorale

So i brought in my epic garlic bread and found out something that scares the freak out of me :

"May God Bless You, Joshua"
OMG

Packed drinks. Random pic.

Opening Prayer

Group Photo.

Hmmm.... The face says "I love cakes"

The pianist. =)

Grace, Is it?? My Classmate.
Awesome drummer.

"Oo My Gawd, JIng Dyee's Expression is Epic??"

"Tell you what, you watch X-men??"

"Yeah, Why?"

"Don't my face reminds you of the gorgeous Charles Xavier??"

Alicia, is it?? Or have i got your name wrong again?? D=

My Fav.

Mika, F&F (Foe and Friend)

Dianne!!

SI SI..... Hei Ren.... HELEN.

My fatty daughter!!!! XD
No offense ya.... Don't mind me...

Tallie Ericka!!!

Awww... Teacher i love you so much!!!

Alvin

Joshua & closed-eyed

Joel the Tenor. XD

Erm... why am i taking picture with my bro??
a Neccesity??

Erm... why is this picture in the posts??
HAHA??
I don't know.
I'm SORREEE?? XD


All in all, it's a very heartwarming and touching gathering/farewell. KYC have been a family to me, and without me knowing accompanied 4 years of my growth, singing alongside, playing together, laugh and cried and touched altogether...

Special Thanks to our teacher, for loving us like a mother to her sons. You're a really great teacher, Really. I wish to Sing again.

In the end, i became the one who doesn't wish to go home.
In the end, everyone doesn't want to go home.
In the end, we all have to part away.
In the end, Separation is inevitable

Anyway, you guys will be F.I.M.M in my heart. It's a blessing to join KYC.

Last Week.

It's not that i oppose my Family to view my blog.

And it's not that i've something to hide.

But i feel insecure and privacy-violated when my family starts to sneak around my blog,
and at the SAME TIME bring out the topic in real life.

I mean, What the hell??? Why are you guys so eager to intrude my thoughts and make it a joke or some big issue after reading my blog?? I don't mind you guys reading my blog, seriously i don't. But please, don't expose it to other ppl as if you've discovered a rare treasure. It's only nothing, it's only my weird thoughts and sincere comments, and some experience that i don't wish to let people know.

Please, give me a safe place to let my mind roam free.
Please, don't destroy my sanctuary.
Please, please don't talk about what i've written in here.
Please, my Family.
Please.

You have the right to know but please remember, i have my rights to remain silent and let certain experience pass by silently.

And since when my bro is so interested in my Blog?? =S

CAmps

While I'm packing My stuffs to be kept in a paper archive i come across this stack of name tags which I've collected since small, from all kinds of camps, convention, conference, even my primary school name tag!!!

Just by the look of it try imagine how many camps had i joined from time to time since i'm twelve, the "legal age" in my family to join any camps.




Well, despite of the great number of camps I've joined, some leave no great impressions, or memorable memoirs which remained in my pathetic always-suffer-from-temporary-memory-lost brain. From my view, those camps are not having impact on my life.

But some, some nostalgic scene from some camp would stuck in my mind, never wipe away, as it inspires me, or somehow changed my point of view of life, or transformed me then into who am i today. For me, those camps are really worth it. =)

Anyway, well, I miss those times in camps.

Sanctify The Pacifism. I'm sitting on a Strawberry Swing. Before all the Rocks.

Hai, I am a pigeon who got into a someone else's home. I'm naughty, I'm not grown yet, therefore i don't know how to fly. But i left my home on a high tree and came here. I'm fat, cause i ate alot. I love corns and Corns love me.


My family and I were suddenly surprised by the arrival of this fat, small pigeon which doesn't even know how to fly. The scene of it running around under the "guidance" of my brothers simply lighten my day up. Later on it hid under the car, most probably because of my brother's scary "guidance". At least it's better than being eaten up by stray dog, which the Dogs are attempting earlier on. =D

...

Recently i've come across this Chinese Song.
I don't know why but this song keeps on reecho in me,
as if reminding me something in my past,
Picking up fragments of my shattering memories,
Telling me a story once i'm am so familiar of...

愚人国度

(If you realize you want to stop the autoplay music of the blog, Please look for the section on your right and pause the Music. =) )

"爱是愚人的国度故事讲的是年轻的王子和平民公主相爱，被叛乱的大臣以此为借口将他们驱逐，黑心的大臣又给王子下了诅咒使他变成了没有感觉的木头人。 MV 开始，公主虽然很伤心但是仍然去找到了被变成木头人的王子，与他一起生活，最终用心将王子重新变成了人。他们快乐的生活着。 直到有一天王子收到了叛乱被平息的消息，于是他带着公主又回到了王宫。王子最终要变成国王，而公主怕王子因此而离开他，而王子也舍不得离开公主，他们艰难的选择着。最终公主为王子着想，选择离开，让王子安心成为国王。 王子在为成为国王做着准备，大臣们也迫使公主离开的更远。最终成为国王的王子仍是不顾大臣的反对找到了公主选择继续和她在一起，而大臣们也同意了，不过有一个条件就是喝下王宫的药酒，成为高贵的“傀儡国”的子民，国王意愿亦是希望公主能成为傀儡国的王后。 公主不愿成为傀儡，认为自己就很高贵，大臣们包括国王都在嘲笑公主的想法。王子也在劝说公主，最终公主为了能和王子在一起还是选择喝下了药酒，抛弃了自己，成为了傀儡国的王后。 爱是愚人的国度，他们认为抛下了自己就是爱。"

A story of two fools
Was it a parody??
Or was it Something that we kept on missing??

Maybe we should open our heart.

我们是不是都是愚人？ ？

原本是不管曾有过怎样的难堪，

只要有一次的美丽绚烂就能从此满足，

后来才突然发觉，

不管再怎么欺骗自己，

失去那些曾美丽的过往，

其实都是不能真切地满足，回到最初的状态。

答案、剧情永远不清不楚。

I shall not be desperatemo anymore,
this i promised myself,
You've hurted me enough,
I've known better,
I was a fool,
But now I am not,
You've flipped into a new chapter,
and i shall do the same,
by the time You come.

人心难测，
到了今天，
我们已不能回到最初，
结局，
是喜，
是伤，
我都要笑着走下去。

接下来，
真的要很努力地拍照了，
时间，
真的剩下不多了...