Dark side of the Moon

Looking outside the window

Everything seemed like a reminder of sorrows

Draping crescent echoed heart that is hollow

Silent cries claws in the serene glow

Carefully you took your steps and fled

Leaving behind promises so broken

Nothing seems to feel right anymore

Lest for the chaos, turmoil that ricocheted in disarray

You stumbled in and bring wonders into my life

And left and strike me down just as fast

I was so unwell before

And yet so torn down again before I’m given the chance to heal

Tell me

What are words if you really don’t mean them when you say them?

What are words if they are only for good times then they are gone?

Do you even know?

Do you even care?

Had you known that the pain dwells in the heart?

Had you known that the memories haunt like nightmares?

Had you known that this is a torture unlike any other?

Had you known that I still care, from the bottom of my heart??

As I lay dying

I try to reach for the hand that holds

For the shoulder that is always there

For the ear that listens

For the heart that understands

For the voices that soothes

For the comfort that calms my restless heart.

But little did I know

That they are no longer there

And that I can only stare at my own death looking back at me

Stealing bits of me day by day

Like a fish dying in an ocean that forsakes it.

And little did I know

That this little bittersweet trance

Kills me inside out

Breaks me down and build me up

A freak that smiles while hurting

Will You Follow the Breadcrumbs Home?

Dear oh Gretel,

You are a loving sister of mine

Please don't be sad 

For the breadcrumbs will lead us home.

Dear oh Gretel,

The night is cold and long,

Don't you fret

For the breadcrumbs will lead us home.

Sometimes darkness seems never-ending

Sometimes it might consumes your soul

Tearing you apart from your very seams 

But fear not

Dawn is nigh

As long as you follow the breadcrumbs home.

Oh Dear Gretel

Perhaps you're still too sad to admit that you're lost

But don't tremble

I am Hansel 

And I am here.

I will lead you,

Through the meandering path of this world

Through the plain, the river, and the valley

And towards the end

Where we will catch a glimpse of light.

FIN

久违了

 

久违了

失望

是多么就没有感受到了

多么的深刻

多么的刻骨铭心

就一次

从此被你改观

你

和你

让我失望了

你们还敢称自己是基督徒？？

背着人作这种东西？？

你们还管天上的哪一位天父吗？？

你们破坏的

不只是与神的关系

还有其他关心你的人

甚至是我的关系

对不住

你们太让我失望了

 ...

The syndrome drew on, somehow I realize that it intensifies from the time I realize that it is corroding me, bits by bits. I’m astonished myself at how I view people these days. No, I am not exaggerating. I’m just so shocked that I changed a lot after coming into this education institute.

Is it selective Mutation??

Is it adaptation to the surrounding to ensure survival??

Now I start to read people more and more, their gestures,their emotions, their reactions, even a flick of eye, or a roll of the iris is not missed. What caused this much details?? Do they actually matter?? Or am I making myself crazy slowly?? Deep down in my heart, I think I know that everyone is facing the same trouble too, to find a ground to stand on in this place. To be recognized, to be acknowledged their humble existence. Everyone craves to be somebody, not a nobody. 

Not to be just some Joshua, but THE JOSHUA.

Is this some psyche theory?? I wonder.

...

Every second lapsed by is another moment of me missing you

Every drops from the sky is a pounding wish to see you

Every chirp of bird you hear is a melody I sang for you

About our story

About you

About me

About you and me

Death Silence

Breath in
Breath out
A moment to think
A lapse second of ponder
A dwindling thought
Fading away in and out


A dark drape envelop over the sky
Shining celestials bring glimpse of hope
Only to be swept away the next moment
Into nothingness
Into sorority
Into the world of anger, betrayal, and intriguing dark emotions

Cricket croons no sound
As if silenced by the absence of the wind
Dead silence echoes
Lost hearts pounding
Banging away in the mad world

Phantom of Beauty dreams
Shattered
Destroyed
Vanquished
Relinquished
What’s left??
Please
Abandon all hope

He tears
He cries
He howls into the tired night
Gone
Begone
Hearts shattered into pieces once more.

Little things in life

If any little word of ours

Can make one life the brighter,

If any little song of ours

Can make one heart the lighter.

God help us speak that little word,

And take our bit of singing

And drop it in some lonely vale,

And set the echoes ringing

A Country Path in Late Spring

The path of mossy ground nestled
In between maternal hedgerows,
That overgrew atop, dimming down
The brilliance of the day.
Embosomed, a calm-cool vision –
Abstract takes of nature, in
Leaf-spattered green shades;
Stem-speckled brown hues;
Shards of sunlight percolating
Through the random flaws to
Up glittering sprites upon the leaves.

And avian chatter bounced along the burrow,
Smattered by the crosstalk
Of busybody insects;
But outside the green comfort zone,
Other worlds of other sounds of other life
Otherwise gave a hint of
Other dozy goings on.

Hawthorn filled the air,
Filled the nose,
Filled the head –
Pungency had overpowered all –
Gave the late-spring-early-summer haze.

Here and there a break of colour:
Odd bluebells – escapees from nearby woods –
Blue-blushing bell faces glancing down,
Aware of their erectness in the stem;
The flaming wing of red admirals
Broke through a hedge hole to
Break up the calm backdrop,
While flitting blue tits gave
To greater-bodied animation.

Nature’s warm narration –
The undertones of life.

Mark R. Slaughter

Isidar Mithrim

Dejected, disdained

That was what I am before you found me

Then you came

Gentle and full of compassion

You always understand

You fathomed my thoughts and gushing feelings

You bent to me and hear me out

You lifted my sorrow

You alleviated my desperation

You calmed my bleeding heart

You kissed away my tears

You became something for me so Dear.

“I Understands” is always what you say

You seemed to be the missing piece

That fits my heart perfectly

Your laughter, your words

Are a remedy that cured my forlorn hollow soul

You’re rare

You’re special

You’re genuine

You seem to know me perfectly well

As if I am you and you are me

Yes yes,

We’re very much different

but yet so much alike.

You

My heart-lifting Cherrybum

You’re the star

Draping beside the luminous Moon

Bring warmth in the cold of the night

You’re the shiny Sun

Making the morning wakes

Singing a cherry rhythm for a pristine day.

Come come,

Let the stars strike up the band

Breezes croons

Lets witness the solstice slash across the abandon darkness

Sing aloud

For your soothing voice is my melodrama

Its vanishing brings out my pure melancholy

As you can see

You have been my abiding sanctuary

My true peace

Let you not be gone

For you’re my Isidar Mithrim

A scarlet soul shining so brightly

Crimson Beauty

Burgundy Passion

Embrace me with your presence

My Isidar Mithrim

Star

Oh you,
Bring out my heart rhythm
Smooth like a flow in the milky way
Dwindling about in the midst of galaxy.

Oh you,
Your laughter is my pure joy
Shining like the Orion Bolt
Trailing behind passion burning like supernova.

Oh you,
Your beauty outmatched the stars
Even the falling comet, or the Neptune,
Fails to capture my heart like your brilliance.

Oh you,
Remember the vow under the crescent
That shower of meteor promised
You and I clashes like neutron star collision.

Sometimes i may know not
That you are my destiny
Nor the time may lapse without you
But it came to me that
You are what I matter the most
In this vast universe.

Works and Days

Monday,
Everything mixed in a miry clay,

Tuesday,
All i know was it is fate,

Wednesday,
I'm fascinated by what you say,

Thursday,
Something is really wrong with me i shouldn't say,

Friday,
Something is bitter about your plan,

Saturday,
It's a brand new day,

Sunday,
I was hidden away, crying mayday.

Welcome Back =D

You paint my sky blue
You paint grass green
Bright sun tinted red with your tender care
There's shades of gray in the cloud
Something in you is beautiful as the violet twilight
How can i forget that yellow is your favourite colour
And that you give my life colour
My life is no longer dull with you

The empty seat

He stared to the corner
The empty seat
Alongside with other chairs
In the class.

Memories strung into a harmonious tune
Reminiscence plays its angelic rhythm
Thoughts of he and she replayed like a flashback
As those knitted into a sweet dream

Stunned
He thought he caught a glimpse of her
On that empty seat
He sure had missed her
Rather much

Dedicated to someone who most probably won’t be reading this

Boredom kills
So it says
But thoughts of you are killing me from inside
Consuming my very oasis of life
As the linkage between us degenerates
Denatured from what we used to have.

Brusquely I intrude your realms of life
Tending to share your yoke of sadness
The burden of your ever-worrying heart
I grew tired
As the cloud melts in the twilight dawn

Distance is playing its awful trick
Unfamiliarity tries to separate us from each other
But I fought
Combating the reaper of our dwindling foundation
Leaving shattered memories behind

Going astray
As the silence beat to march
I stay stagnant
Waiting for you to make your move
Anticipating your resilience reaction

Now
I locked you away from this surge of passion
Keeping you away from discovering this
What are you going to do??
Can you finding a backdoor to these enigmas??

Longing our moments together to come back,
As in my reminiscence.

Croatian Rhapsody

Senoia,
Thou tender scowl lapse my grim immunity
Intrudes into my life chamber
With thy moodless mockery
Bring about my internal diaspora

Senoia,
Thou meander among my dispossessed subsistence
Carving an alibi so lovely
I delusively assumed that I took a glimpse of eternity
But instantly you gone astray from me
Sending me apart
Disdained
Unloved
Alone.

Senoia,
The way thy disclose thine noumenon
So appalling and simultaneously darling
Provoked me to threw myself in
Into your nonveau glade
As I’m drenched in thine love
So affectionate and unblemished
I’m gone in my own phantasmal daydream

Senoia,
Thy passion is killing me
As thy were ripped away from me
Ditch me with more confusion
To what extent I am of value for thy.

Senoia,
Terminologies are not meant to be revealed,
So as my authentic contemplation are masked away from thy,
Though it is unfathomable
My emotion for thy is apparent and ongoing
To the end of the time.

NITES....

Cool Night
Cool Breeze
Two souls entwined away in the night.

Silent rant
Drew warmth out of the mystery chamber
Striking the clean sapphire crescent
Illuminating the soundless night

Distance drips of time
Flowing down
Sandglass of no turning back
Let’s lock these moments in
In our ever wandering heart

Looming darkness closing in
Mesmeric echo
Sounding from one corner to another
Starts and fades in the split of seconds.

Cool night
Cool breeze
Puffed you into a tender slumber

Goodnight
Rest Well
Sleep Tight
Sweet Dreams
My Dear

Then I realized that I miss you the moment we end our conversation.

DESPERATEMO

What's wrong ??
Why is there something wrong in your smile?
Even the Morning breeze couldn't freshen you up
Your saddening face

What's wrong?
Is there a problem with your trembling heart??
Worries that weight over your calmness
Shattering your feeble mind?

What's wrong?
What actually are you hiding from?
Even yourself knows not
What's wrong?

What's wrong?
Why is the winter so long lasting
When the summer is just waiting at the doorstep?
Can we stay warm in the sheer cold?

What's wrong?
Your sorrow had brought giant depression over me
Consuming me up piece by pieces......
When can i see you smile again?

p.s. I care for you, I really do.

Hope

I hope you are Smiling
When you look at me and
Found out that I’m actually looking at you

I hope you are Smiling
When our eyes meet
A connection so intimate it melts both our fears

I hope you are Smiling
When a voice rang into your ear, starting your morning
My voice

I hope you are Smiling
When I looked after you
As I had promised

I hope you are Contented
As we spent time talking
Letting thoughts roam free

I hope you are Contented
As our stories reunites
Someday

I hope you are Contented
As I gently take you in my care
Full of tender and care

I hope you are Contented
As there’s someone there for you
Walking you through your life

I hope you are realizing
That I care for you more then you can imagine
Your inexplicable imagination

I hope you are realizing
That I am willing to look at you more than you looked at me
And Care for you more than you cared for me

I hope you are realizing
That you’re one special piece
That fills my need to be loved

I hope you are realizing
That I like and care for you
Every now and then
And
Always

SPECIAL DEDICATION FOR SPECIAL SOMEONE

It started out as a feeling
When we brushed passed each other
Sometime
Somewhere where no one ever remembered
With the reverberating echo
“Helo”
“Hi”

Something in you arouse my attention
Was it your smile??
Or your lively attitude??
I’ll never know what
That has struck up somersaults in my tummy.

I started to look forward to the day
The day when we actually meet up
To talk to you
To see you appearing in my sight
And vanished the next slight moment

There, then.
I started to write messages
Messages meant for you
But not meant to be delivered
I started to steal glimpse of you
As you walked pass me
Sometimes without any interaction
And
That’s when I start to mouth “I like you” behind your back
As the green speck of you apparated into the blue ocean of people

Then soon,
You became
The thought that started the morning
The name that came into my mind before I dozed off
The person that I spend my time with
In my seemingly pointless dreams.

I found out that something had to be done.

Mustering all my courage
I approached you
Through means of phone calls, messages and etc etc
Though I tried to sound as normal as I could
But your serenity struck me dumb
Killing my sanity bits by bits.

For sometime I found out that
I actually held my breath as you walked by
As if scared you have acknowledge my lowly presence
Comparing to your lovable character
I started to care for what you feel
Fearing I might hurt you
Trying my best to make your day better
Without you knowing it.

Then,
As we gets closer
Something crazy cooked up as I frenzied
Doing something that’s not suppose to be my doing
As I witness the blue rose fell into your lap.

There, there
I wish to say no more
There, there
It’s how it all started
There, there
Our lives entwine to form a implicit tale
Which belongings are mine and yours.

P.S. ^^

JUST one moment, MIND YOU ?

I admit it
I just kept losing it
‘Cause you’re too enchanting to be forsaken
The delicacy of your personality
Is striking me amaze, fascinates me
Over and Over again

I admit it
I just kept losing it
‘Cause I said “sorry”
Again and Again
I feel sorry
Again and Again
And do nothing to it
Just sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

I admit it
I just kept losing it
‘Cause you got the right to hate me
To had me despised
Unloved
Reviled
Hated
Loathed
Build me up and break me down
Like an old abandoned house

I admit it
I just kept losing it
‘Cause I just can’t afford to lose you
The sight of your sweet smile
The symphony O’ melody of our conversation
The shards O’ memoirs of you and me
The times when we do stuffs in each and other's company
The feeling from your concern
Which drowns me in love
Every now and then

I admit it
I just kept losing it
‘Cause what’s the meaning of eternity
When your laughter seemingly light up my brief life
And froze my time when you’re around?

I admit it
I just kept losing it
‘Cause I need more time to work on this
To keep a secret intact
To maintain my sanity when I sees you
To hide our tale
From anyone else
Besides you and me

I admit it
I just kept losing it
‘Cause the phantasmagoria of you
Lurks around me
The silhouette of your loving presence
Delivers me from my grievance
And makes me a delusional “me”

So,
Please listen

I admit it
I just kept losing it
‘Cause I’m as awkward as I said I won’t be
And I betrayed my own promise
With my only craving :
To be loved
And to be forgiven
Again and again

p.s. So, gseus you cna’t raed tihs, wcihh I hpoe not to be hgiepapnng. Wlel, olny 55 out of 100 ppoeple can raed tihs. So, I hpoe you can untrdnesadd how srroy I am for cgiuasng mcuh tborule tlil now………. Tatt day, I cuase tborule for you, dndi’t I? Srroy……..

Darling You

Twas’ the finality shone upon us
Like a bright daybreak star
Bringing jovial warmth
As pleasing as felling in love

A bridge
Dazzling like a rainbow
Crossed over from one end to another
From my world to yours

You say you feel the same way
Like I feel towards you
The same sensation
The similar passion
The congruent chemical romance
That strikes up
What is believed to be lying still
Still in our heart

In that room you said
Full of gentleness and kindness
Which untangles my puzzled mind
Into a puddle of whatsoever phantasm
This roams free in the kingdom of thoughts
Letting minds spoke up
Letting love speaks

It’s a hard decision you had made
Though it may betrays what you craved
Or I may know not
You’re thinking the other way round.

But

At that precise moment
I saw your serenity
The beauty of soundless tranquility
Bursting with empathy and compassion
I felt your sorrow
The one so overwhelming that it devour all your courage
As you mumbled the moment I lay my gaze on you.
I realized
The true meaning of the word “sacrifice”
Which means choosing a better way for both of us

So

Together then,
We shall build a wall
Preventing us from crossing into that dreaded boundary
Leading to a nasty happy ending
For a way better is laying upon us
A better future awaits for us.
Through the wall we’ll learn
How to express our feeling through our heart
How to express our love
Without looking into your breath-taking eyes.

And so

We’ll wait
Till the time is right
Though it hurts
When I tried to released my grasp
In a glimpse of times which feels like forever
I’ll wait
As you waited
For mine, and yours brighter future

P.s. I like you, every now and then, and always.

A Plan

A Plan
A Way
A Means to let minds flow free.
A Preparation to derive PASSION

The plan
Inscripted with sophisticated planning
With its layout so promising
That it will melt one’s heart

The plan
Went well despite of myriad of complications
Going on in its on-going thrust
Playing it’s prominent role in his and her life

The plan
Allows no mistakes
Tolerates no miscalculation
Forbids any possibilities of wrong path taken

The plan
Now faces it’s challenge: failure
For when it fails
Hearts are frayed into shattering remnants
For when it went out of hand
The ending turned out to be a major humiliation
For when it loses control
A delicate bond is broken
Two parts will never fit
Acquaintances are turned into Foreigner

The plan
Which he fears will turn out to be NASTY in the end
Is going to turn the reality around
Revealing the heart-warming but naked truth.

The plan
Lies unknown today
Waits for tomorrow
How’s that going to be?