Dark Side of the Moon

And in this glamorous City of Shanghai,

there are also poor people

sad people

people who have no idea where to get their next meal

people who are angry

people who are evil

people who are down a dark path.

I believe, there's a dark side to everything.

I am not quite sure how do I articulate on this matter.

Because recently I am struck pretty hard by an ugly side of someone dear to me.

Like how can someone who wish to inspire respect from others, commit hideous acts?

How wrong we are to think that, people that we know are who they seem on the surface.

Many times we made the same mistake, and in the end got hurt by the unfounded expectation we have for someone.

Sure there are good people in this world, I am not going to deny that.

But I guess its pretty safe to say that, everyone is struggling with something in their daily life.

I am going to borrow from the Catholic's Seven Deadly Sin:

Look around us, everyone seem to be fine.

But there are people secretly can't have enough of "nice" food out there , never know how to say stop to themselves (Gluttony)

There are people who in their twisted ways, imagine what they are going to do to the next girl/guy what they had done with many others that they have sexually coveted. (Lust)

There are people who struggle with giving themselves more good things in the world, is it ever going to be enough, they dn really know. NO, scratch that. They dont think they have enough, ever (Greed)

There are people who are angry with what others have without a shred of gratefulness for the things that they themselves own. They are so not chill when people have what they dont have (Envy)

There are people who needs to feed their ego every now and then. It can be in forms of submission from others; it can be something great that need to be achieved; it can be something that they they shouldnt ever do, it can be as small as a "like" on a facebook/instagram post. (Pride)

There are people who are just angry. Always angry. Why you ask me. I dont know, perhaps maybe they are not contented with how the things are in this world. There are also people who failed at keeping their emotions in check, always do or say things in the wisp of the moment that brought irreparable damage. (Wrath)

There are people who just dont care, hell, they dn even care about themselves. They just want the world to pass them by and do nothing (Sloth)

Yea, its ugly I know.

We are ugly people.

I believe deep down inside, we are all ugly.

Had you come to terms with your sin?

What is your sin?

I know there are plenty of FUCKING ugly ( in terms of heart ) people in the church.

I've seen and known some of them in my life.

First hand experience.

I am sorry, I have nothing against churches. I am a devout Christian myself.

But I would like to come out of my way and make a stand that:

1. No one is perfect

2. Church is not the place for you to come to look for saints.

The truth is, again I can't say enough, is that there're a lot of evil in this world, in the most holiest of places in this world, in the purest of the people. There's always something dirty under that squeaky clean doormat, always a rotten skeleton in one's closet.

And I cant stress enough that I am deeply disappointed by how well these people thrive, just because they hide their dark side better, and make a better performance than the rest. Like, people will buy the idea that someone perfect and good exists.

And it all bound to crash and burn when that fake idea is exposed, realized.

PEOPLE ARE EVIL, MAN.

LOOK AT ME, I AM EVIL.

LOOK AT US

We are just a bunch of sinful cracks trying to convince others how good we are, while deep down, we know we are just hopelessly filthy.

The realization that your role model is not as good as you think can be destructive.

Look at me now. Losing faith in humanity once again.

Going down the dark path in the mind

Just because of something someone did.

Tell me, what should one do upon the knowledge that there aren't one saint left in this world.

How can we love people around us?

How can we be good ourselves?

I guess it goes without saying, and without a doubt that we all need JESUS. I am just going to end my argument and let you decide:

If you are holier than the Gods,

If you can find everlasting peace on your own

Or if you need a Fatherly hand that guides you on your rocky road to find heaven.

Something interesting to note:

1. People always change

2. In time, a person can be an entirely new person

3. But soon you realize that some old habits/traits die hard

4. So which one is true?

a. The only unchanging truth is that everybody changes

b. The only unchanging truth is that people will never change

5. Can a person change to be better, or worse?

6. Or it is already destined, ingrained in their DNA, something that is meant to be?

Okay, I am out of things to say, Just gonna show you guys how pretty China is:

Life Sucks.

Sometimes I can understand why people chose to take their own life.

They simply dont want to have anything to do with this world.

p.s. I am not suicidal

Still Hanging On,

Joshua

The confession of a sinner. Like you. Like me.

Today I went to my church back in kuching, for the last time, before my departure to India, for good.

I think it's kinda funny the fact that most people thought that I have already been in India already because I've been going around bragging telling people about going to India since 2 years ago. and they listened and listened and thinks that I've been already in India for quite some years. Well, i guess i can finally say, that I am going to India, for real. =)

I thank God that he gave me a very strong message.


佳美的脚踪


谁是佳美啊？？ XD

14 How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? 15 And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”                                                                     ~Romans 10:14,15~


I see the heart of a pastor so desperately trying to reach out to us. I see tears of desperation in his eyes as he mention to us how heathen our hearts are these days to God's calling to repent. For the second time in my life I see a pastor becomes so emotional when he tries to convey his concern and hopes to us, simply because God love us and we deserve this wake up call so the beauty of God's embrace will be revealed to us.

I really look up to these pastors, and I am actually envious. And my prayer is that one day I would have the same fulfilling relationship with God, and I will love him more than anything in the world.

...

I guess I can never be the kind of courageous christian who will boldly declare gospel to people who needs it because I think I am simply too afraid of being rejected. TOO SCARED. I just hope that my daily living will be a reflector of Christ, and perhaps people will see Christ living inside me and be convinced that Christ is the only way.

I hope that people will someday believe, if not at least be encouraged, when they look at me.

Maybe one day when you guys peek into this little blogspot of mine, you will see how God slowly scatter easter eggs here and there in the course of my life, and perhpas you will join the dots and form an incredibly picture, and believe, that there is a beautiful hand behind this life which constantly struggles to live.

=)

I never would be daring enough to say this. But I really hope that everyone I care about will turn to God and believe in him because he is simply too awesome and romantically wonderful. But I am simply too shy. If only they would approach me and ask me about it, I will have lotsa tales to tell.

If only they would.

Start From Here. 慢慢来。迷宫一样的未来。

Dear Blog,

We can’t escape from the reality.

We can’t escape from the logic that defines what we are.

Homo Sapiens.

Human.

Human craves for attention.

Human do all kind of things just so that they will be paid attention.

Human loves to control.

Human loves to see so highly of themselves and look down on others.

Human tries to change others.

Human rejects everything and people who behave against their will.

Human flocks together.

Human tend to take for granted all important things

Human set their eyes on things not worthy to be kept

Human get defensive when people talk about their weakness

Human never appreciate goodness in others

Human make promises and forget about them.

Human tries to play God.

Human thinks that they are God.

Human’s one big sucker.

Maybe everything in the world is incredibly simple, only that

The complexity of human makes the world a mess,

And destroy the world in a way that now it is barely inhabitable.

Full of hatred.

Full of lies.

Full of broken promises.

Full of betrayal.

Full of disappointment.

Full of things that are not suppose to happen.

I would pray all day to God so that he would let me discover some goodness remaining in this place. And I pray that He would let me see that I am a human, too.

…

 

未来的一代怎么了？？

后现代的人们，更自私，更没有分寸，更没有礼貌，更没有美德。

看到这一切，我只能纳闷，无奈。

有些人甚至还没看到

有些人甚至知道了，一点行动都没有

有些人甚至知道了，了解了，明白了，

呼吁大家警醒了，

自己还是一个样。

无耻地高呼“改变”，自己的品德却无耻地难看。

我也只能住嘴。

反正我怎么呼，

怎么喊，

我还是被看成一个不敬的小孩。

我说的话，有没有这个分量？？

那么我的用心良苦，谁能从我的泪眼里察觉？？

我的关怀方式，是你无法察觉的悲哀。

我想我想说的是，

一个人眼中只有自己，

在外面再成功，再德高望重，

再多的丰功伟绩，

我也不会向你看齐。

我也长大了。

我也有了我的原则。

我也有了我的执着。

我也很耐心地站在一旁听着。

静静地听着。

静静地看着妳自我地咆哮。

静静地感受着周遭被你糟蹋的人们的感觉。

你可以很大声。

你可以很自大。

你可以很不可一世。

但是你却不会打动我心。

永远都不会。

你可以说我无耻。

你可以说我会被天打雷劈。

你可以说我目中无人。

但是我想我觉得，

我看到的是事实，

是一次又一次，

重复又重复的固执。

错了吗？？

用你的语言对你说了。

够白了吧？？

听得懂了吧？？

我要快乐

Mental Note

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve;
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked for health, that I might do greater things;
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy;
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men;
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life;
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am among all men most richly blessed.

活在当下

感恩

不住的感恩

感谢

...

Dear blog,

I just wish you to know that I feel very very loved and blessed by God today. Everyday turns out to be a blessing and more good things bound to come. Come to think of it, from the day I exist till now I've been blessed abundantly by God. 

I owed HIM alot.

And who I am to complain HIM and doubt the plans that he has for me??

They ask me why am I serving God, I try to say something but the feeling within is just too complicated for me to understand.

I think what I'm trying to say is, God love me so much, and he never forsakes me, why would I let HIM go?? He waited for me to turn back, that's already something that touched my heart deeply. Now i just pray that I'll have more opportunities to be with HIM and moments to be close to him.

Well, I think I've lost myself totally, finally my worst fear had come. I don't know how to behave anymore around people, as if I've slowly lost parts and pieces that makes up me. Maybe everything about me is because of her?? Now that she's gone I'm supposed to be gone too??

I'm lost. For real this time.

Sometime in a future i think i need to make a list about me myself.

To remind me about myself.

To remind me about the boy who once dream so high of the world, and lost it all.

Sigh. signing off.

Christos Anesthe!!!

Holy Week passed just like that.
Damn me myself I think I am not at all prepared for this, lotsa happenings, and lotsa things on my mind, and lotsa distraction that pulled me away.

I keep on promise myself that I need to quiet myself down and think about how A Total stranger had died just so I'm saved from eternal damnation.
I promised myself that I've to be feeling thankful for the sacrifice that He had make for me, His life for mine.

But I failed terribly. I damn-it failed miserably.


She used to led me closer to Him. I thanked God daily for her, thinking that my whole life had been done for and all will be well, and that all that will continue on forever, me eternally grateful for a girl.

Perhaps I was too wrong, so wrong that now I am left with nothing to drag myself up and believe in Him again. It all shattered, and fade into black. I am wrong. I am wrong. And I'm so disappointed in myself and so guilty for being like this.

But the thing is, I still can't see the end of the road, i don't see how things can be smoothen. I see more opportunities for me to rough up my faith.

I still don't get to what extend a love can be when a person can die for a total stranger, and still loves him even though he'd let him down again and again.

I still don't feel how great that love can be, and conceptualize and Enternalize that love in me.

I only see a Guy on the cross, and he so called bore our sins and died for me. 

Despite all these feelings, a clear voice echoed in my mind, that during my darkest hours, he's the one who held me and carry me on, and pull me through, just so I can breakthrough again. I really need mercy, more wisdom that Solomon posses, more faith which Ruth had, and more touching of spirit, even more than what Elisha and Elijah had ever had.

I really need YOUR mercy, dear Lord.

It do comforts me there's someone not of this world who promise more than those in this world can ever offer.

I just need that faith to claim the promise and take the leap of faith.

Happy Easter to All my readers. =)

May God bless you all abundantly.

Confession of a broken soul

Only God's love is truly consuming and unconditional.

Oh ya, just that at the moment.

Grace

I do know that God's grace comes in many ways.

Recently, I've scratched another person's car accidentally and had to pay a sum of money to compensate the person, while sustaining damage on my own car. At first, I was devastated, and pretty much it spoil my mood as i was on my way to meet my friend and celebrate his belated birthday, mainly because I've prayed for the journey ( Which i did every single time before i drive), and i asked her to pray for me as well.

I feel so F***ed up and it really swayed my faith and reliance on God.

But come to think of it, the amount that the car owner requested is far more less than the actual figure needed to repair the scratches. And I'm truly thankful for the owner for being so understand for not asking for more since this is my first time and I'm just a student.

And for sure i'll be more careful the next time, and most probably, there'll not be other people's blood on my hands just because i'm more careful from now on.

Isn't that God's grace itself?? =) I wish I can understand God's will more and more each day.

...

 Had my haircut just recently.

My hair used to be very lousy due to the "awesome" undercut the hair designer gave me during the last saloon visit. You can imagine how dumbstruck i am when realizing my head is like "that" after he finished cutting.

And after sometimes, i looked like this (front view):

Oh yea, Like a Boss.

My favourite Walking Dead Character.

Now :

Aha. XD

21122012

To my surprise many people are actually taking this seriously. Oh My Gawd, people must be tweeting insanely on the end of the world this moment, if they have one tweeter account. Sigh, I might as well put up a status, no?

The end of a chapter often flips into a new chapter.

So where does this so called "end of the world" leads us to??

I think we need to know, just in case, that IN CASE the world ends today, we'll have a new one waiting for us, unbreakable, and lasting for eternity. Are we believing at this hour?? Should we take a minute out and reflect on ourselves instead of busy scrolling through Facebook notifications??

Well, I'm pretty sure that the world won't end today, I haven't go to India, I haven't earn real money, I haven't travel around the world, I haven't get married, and there's too much "I haven't" for me if the world ends.

Anyways, 

Matthew 24:36
No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.

We can't know for sure. =)
See you tomorrow if the world doesn't end.

有时候. Sometimes

My sincerest Apologies.

A2 Life hasn't been easy so far. In fact, I was rather caught by surprise by the difficulty of the whole 4 subjects altogether and how the time of the day seem to shorten with cramming schedules and stacking tasks, that as in i don't have much more free time for myself anymore. And that brings back all the reminiscence of the past where we don't even have a homework to do, and all we have to do is to play and live life.

Now my life can be briefly summarized into a few points : Wake up (early if I'm lucky), Heavy Breakfast, School, Workout, Dinner, Study, and sleep, and wake up again.

And these days my physical state deteriorates, despite of all those working outs and keep-fit sessions in the evening. And commitment at hand, which is hard to hold as difficulty starts to pour in with which makes me hard to persist on when everything else is standing between you and your goal infront of you. And worstmore, all the delusion around you shows that you we had no hope at all.

Can I??

Can We??

好开心

看着你踏上属于自己的一个旅程

可惜的是

不争气的我不能随身跟随

只能暗暗的祝福你

前程似锦

祝福你

A Testimony

Hey there!  =)

Greetings from Kolej Teknologi Timur, Sepang! I’m Joshua Wong, an ex-greenian and also and ex-member of GRSS ISCF. I’m actually honored and feel fortunate for being able to share my testimony here on this very joyous occasion.  Well, in case you all wonder what I am doing recently, I’m studying A level under the sponsorship of JPA, and am going to further my studies to India the next year. =) It’s truly an eye-opener for me throughout my life here in KL and I can feel that my life is just starting under the guidance of God. All glory and praises to Him.

Well, if you were to ask me how is it feel to be like studying away from home, I would tell you that it’s a brand new experience, exciting but sad sometimes as you starts to miss your families and friends you used to be with before you fly off to study. Friends from ISCF for instance, I would never forget how you guys have played a role in changing my life, leading my life on the right track.

I’ve been joining ISCF an early year of form 1, and by then I was still a young and naïve little kid who’s still a stranger to all stuffs going around in the new school. And the first group of people who showed their genuine care for me is the seniors from ISCF. I can always remember vividly the sincerity in the seniors when they carefully and gently bring us up in this new secondary-school environment, and constantly showing their concern over our academic progress, and would not hesitate to give help when we’re in need.

And believe those people who said that “time flies”. I concur to the fact when I grew up to be a form 5 young adult in a brief blink of my eyes. Wow, I realized, that I’m going to sit for SPM this year, and stress starts pour in. The effect of preparation for exam seems to affect all my friends around me, which furthermore puts more desperation in my “stress-tank”. It is a really hard time.

And yet, I’m really thankful for God’s grace during trials and tribulations, and those support given by my friend, friends from ISCF especially. I would never forget how eager all the brother and sisters in Christ are in showing their care and concern, comfort when I’m sad, and the joy when they share my happiness when I manage to pull through waves of exams. And hereby I want to extend my gratefulness to Miss Yong Mie Ling for providing words of comfort throughout my course of secondary school years, and for always remembering me in her prayers. I’m sure that all the support from my friends and teacher herself had pushed me harder than ever in order to seize the opportunity to study under the sponsorship of the government.

And for the bible says "Whoever for my sake receives one such young child as this, receives me; and whoever receives me, receives not so much me as Him who sent me." (Mark 9:37). I’m very sure that all of my friends will be deeply blessed for they’ve served me with love for Christ sake, and in turn served Christ. I want to thank all of you for making my life here in GRSS a memorable one.

And finally I want to wish GRSS ISCF to be continually blessed and continue to walk in the way of God. May God be with us. Amen.

Greetings From KL Central!

Hey there!!

Warmest Greetings! As the said title states, i'm currently in KL central awaiting to go to Genting to have a lovely 3 days 2 nights holiday with my family. Pretty awesome huh, forgetting the fact that i'm still in the exam season and the next paper is on in less than one week and i didn't even started on them DX, guess I'm gonna share lotsa pics in a couple of days, a week maybe abou the trip to genting. =)

Anyway, for the time being i'm just gonna update with what's happening with campus Revo RE:UNION that happened a couple of days back (yeah i know pretty outdated right?).

The crowd

Oh yeah, forgot to tell you guys that this is the first Christian event ever held in the awesome Stadium Merdeka!!! Well, i thought initially that the whole stadium will be crowded with people but who knows, heh, we only manage to fill the standing ground on the centre.

Yep, It's RE:UNION.

Us.

Well, i think they wanna make up the word "ACTS Teen"but then where's the "EN"??

Featuring Brother JAmes Xia a.k.a the photographer.

p.s. We still have a good luck with you sitting with her. XD

The stage with the quartet acapella singer which name i can't recall because it-is-too-long-and-confusing. Amazing voice i must admit.

And we're lucky to have the top beat-boxer in Malaysia. 

What's his name again??

The band, An honest mistake. Do you realize the GUY in the screen, yea he's a guy with long orange hair.

"OMG, she looks like paramore!!!! I love girls band. "
"What are you talking about?? He's a guy??"
"Wait what?? She got long hair! DX"
"Look again, HE got long hair."

TROLOLOLOL

Anyways, the female vocalist is really awesome, with penetrating powerful voice. I'm lovin' it.

Pastor Kenneth on sharing about how we are using our talents to catch people attention in order to share gospel. "Yeah, so you sing rock?? Rock is not christian music?? But you can approach rockers with it, and maybe they'll be moved by you. These people performing her today are people who love GOD"

We KTT-ians.

In the jungle the mighty jungle, we're out to here tonight. XD

And introducing the newborn couple of our college, JOJO!! yeah i know it's not so much a big deal but here in our college, it is. =)

Snapshot @ KL Sentral.

Helo Dudes and LAdies. =D