15/2/2009 Joshua is EMO… Here’s why…

This is something private, and please don’t spill the beans. This is how Crazy Erratic Joshua is EMO…….

Actually, I’m tired of this form 4 life…. Honestly. I get busy with my homeworks and somehow I forgot the others……

For things in 4S1 for example, I’m being said as the “keceriaan” who is not worthy of doing the job. Get what I mean? She’s a teacher. I’m confessing here that I really didn’t pay in much effort in that, because I’m too blur to handle the work. Everytime as I get busy with my homework, it was forgotten. I don’t feel that I had the passion or enthusiasm to continue this hardwork, just like the teacher had said.

And as for things in my youth. I really don’t know what I should do. This form 4 thing is really freaking me out and really sorry that I had not played my role well as XXXX XXXXXXXXX. I’m extremely sorry. I focused on the wrong thing instead, like discussing on something detail before I get to know it’s overview of the whole plan. Sigh………….

I actually cried, just like I smiled when I feel happy. Quoted “I know that I’m going to cry this year and I just did” from my president….

It feels weird when Joshua who craps and plays around cried right???

I really think so.

I even thought of whether I should drop my “good student” personality and turns bad, so that people will stop trusting me and stop giving me anymore responsibility.
I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO. I’m EMO.

Don’t worry, I won’t commit suicide, I got my life cause God gave me that. (if you want to know about it then ask me)

I’m down.
God, I’m down
God, B.J.A is down
Save me……..