Hey you....

Dear,

This is one post that will be specially dedicated to you, but not for you to read, cause i'm pretty sure that you'll not read it cause you won't be bother to scroll down and read all my precious posts. i know you better than anyone else. but that is what that makes me uneasy.

It's been like two months since i last saw you, though the vision of you blurred from day to day, but my memories of you, those times spent with you i would not forget until the last of my breathing moment, i admitted that i'm still somehow obsessed with your jolly presence, somehow the absence of it contribute to my melancholic life.

You know, there's a time when you tell me that my eyes look like they want to kill someone when i looked at you. that was the time when i am so bitter inside of me when you start to put things more important than me. but since you tell me on that i changed for you, soften my mean look, only that you won't be scared or afraid when i'm with you. How well i remember that my look had made you hide in your class, from me, when i want to see you so much. Now, you're missing from my side for 2 months, some people starts to tell me that my look is getting more and more miserable as if they contain so much deadliness. i don't know why, eye just involuntarily shows my inner emotions. i'm no longer myself, i need you back to change me, back to the one who once smiles upon you and is extremely joyful.

Yes, i can see that you're having fun there now, and how sad it is that it is not me who gave you all these happiness. glancing back, it seems i never bring you any true joy, only pressure, and unwanted burdens. now that you've found your true joy, are you still putting me in your mind?? now that THEY have replaced my place in your heart, who will replace your place in my heart?? If it's IT that you're falling in love with, who'll now be the one falling in love together with me??

Tears will only bring more sorrows so i decide that i shouldn't let myself drown in tears. Now i only hope that this boredom will somehow pushes me to think further and somewhat matures into a different person, one that you're willing to rely on, and undoubtedly offer your life.

Space, Spaceship, Spacecraft, All you need now is Space.