Adieu

31/12/2011

Look at me

And Watch me

Witness how I fall

How I fell into great despair

How I overcome the devastating ordeal

How I come back again anew

How redefinition change the direction of my life.

Yes, indeed another year is coming to an end. Years feel like months, months feel like days, days feel like hours, hours feel like minutes, and minutes feel like just seconds of our short misery life. So how am I feeling?? Great?? Sorrowful?? Full of guilt??

无奈

绝望

忙茫盲

重新振作

一切的一切

感恩

Year 2011 can be considered as one of the hardest year that I have being through in my currently still-short 18-year-old life. So, what’s so tough and tougher than the SPM exam?? Well, I was devastated by something that happened during month January, completely falling into the pit of darkest hour of my life. It was hard, heart-breaking, as the betrayal sinks in one’s life and takes all that one believes, all that one hope for, all dreams, and all faith away, leaving a thin husk with emotions and thoughts. I lived like a dry shell for months, though God sustained me from time to time through different people, and different songs, and different circumstances, renewed my life and encourage me to put more faith in HIM in guiding my life. I understand that everything is a F-M-L kind of stuff and we’ve got every right to complain about God’s Guidance and the role he played in our life. Even I complained, and there’s no wrong in doing that.

But why complain

 when you know that everything that happened

is a delicate piece of jigsaw puzzle

that makes up a perfect picture??

Again, I was reminded not to challenge God’s authority no matter what happens. And that God is willing to hear our feeble cries when all hopes seems lost.

“He will not break a bruised reed or extinguished a smoldering wick, until he brings justice to victory”

Matthew 12:20

How miracle works??

Miracle is a phenomenon or circumstance where it clear exemplifies genuine provocation or violation of the natural law.

What is a miracle? 
What is a miracle? It is when the impossible happens. 
It’s when doctors have given up on a sick child and for no scientific reason, that child gets well. 
It’s when you’re down to your last dollar, have piles of bills to be paid, and a check arrives in the mail from some unknown source. 
It’s when a hurricane comes through a town and your house is left standing with desolation all around it. 
It’s when a child is born and you can’t believe how exquisitely miniature this new life appears. 
It’s when you’ve prayed for a specific purpose and that prayer is answered. 
It’s when there is no earthly reason something wonderful has happened. 
Miracles take place everyday. Sometimes they’re very subtle and quiet, sweeping in like a touch on the face. Other times, it’s very evident and public. It doesn’t matter who you are, miracles can happen to anyone. 

Miracle happens when you least expect it to. For me, Lord’s work is never more clear and evident when He sent someone else better and ideal to fit me, to provide me with new strength in facing the sadistic, materialistic life. There he come into intervention, filling in the gap that was once empty, mending the broken heart that was once whole, and bring meaning into an empty. This sister, I dare say had clearly portrayed God’s Agape unconditional love. And for that, I thanked her. It’s like the sweet dew rained down in the Indian summer.

And at the start of month August, I flipped my life into a new living chapter of college life, where independent living, separation from families are all related under the same catergory. Now, after a separation of 6 months, only then I know how hard it is to face the absence of a couple of extra hands to hold you and back you up when all you need is just a shoulder to lie on, and how lonely it is when you opened your phonebook, scrolled the whole list, and found no one that you can actually talk to. But that’s when maturation takes places. I firmly believe that everyone has their own fear and doubts, and their own cravings and attitudes, and mentality, and these are the times when we all face seasoning and molding of hard circumstances, which gradually have an awesome impact on our life and bring metamorphosis into our life.

Redefinition

The end of 2011 and the start of 2012, how am I going to live the coming year?? NO matter how I would live it, I know for sure that pain will follow with sweetness, and joy will come with bitterness. All elements of life, all variety of emotions floods in and form a stable a compound, isn’t that what life is??