Christos Anesthe!!!

Holy Week passed just like that.
Damn me myself I think I am not at all prepared for this, lotsa happenings, and lotsa things on my mind, and lotsa distraction that pulled me away.

I keep on promise myself that I need to quiet myself down and think about how A Total stranger had died just so I'm saved from eternal damnation.
I promised myself that I've to be feeling thankful for the sacrifice that He had make for me, His life for mine.

But I failed terribly. I damn-it failed miserably.


She used to led me closer to Him. I thanked God daily for her, thinking that my whole life had been done for and all will be well, and that all that will continue on forever, me eternally grateful for a girl.

Perhaps I was too wrong, so wrong that now I am left with nothing to drag myself up and believe in Him again. It all shattered, and fade into black. I am wrong. I am wrong. And I'm so disappointed in myself and so guilty for being like this.

But the thing is, I still can't see the end of the road, i don't see how things can be smoothen. I see more opportunities for me to rough up my faith.

I still don't get to what extend a love can be when a person can die for a total stranger, and still loves him even though he'd let him down again and again.

I still don't feel how great that love can be, and conceptualize and Enternalize that love in me.

I only see a Guy on the cross, and he so called bore our sins and died for me. 

Despite all these feelings, a clear voice echoed in my mind, that during my darkest hours, he's the one who held me and carry me on, and pull me through, just so I can breakthrough again. I really need mercy, more wisdom that Solomon posses, more faith which Ruth had, and more touching of spirit, even more than what Elisha and Elijah had ever had.

I really need YOUR mercy, dear Lord.

It do comforts me there's someone not of this world who promise more than those in this world can ever offer.

I just need that faith to claim the promise and take the leap of faith.

Happy Easter to All my readers. =)

May God bless you all abundantly.