11.11.11

Time flies. And here we are, coming to this point of continuum, not going back. Thinking back, ever wonder what had we achieved, and what had we beaten, and what had we sacrificed for the sake of something of greater good??

So far, so good, having lots of thing to do in a little time recently. Having Déjà vu’s every now and then from the past life. What is it?? Is it something coming from my past life?? Or just a state of mind?? Exam coming around the corner, year coming to an end, and a greater challenge is right ahead, what’s my game plan?? What’s my way of living for the year ahead??

When I viewed back my past years blogposts I am suddenly disappointed by how hard it is to convey and idea now comparing to my younger years. I have this kind of in-fluency that I can’t explain, as I stared into my old Vibrant posts that can stir up emotions, that drew reader’s empathy. Why, I asked, and my hollow soul echoed, as the sound ricocheted in the walls within me. I guess I had lost all my sense of humour or humourousity that used to make me an interesting person. Well, I started to become dull and sometimes not funny at all (and at times people will just look at me and not laugh when I talked), is it because of the society that I am in?? Or am I getting more and more boring and monotonous?? I wonder.

 

Redefinition still goes on, and I’m still in process of rectifying some of my old self attitude that used to haunt me and back to haunt me from time to time. Exemplas Gratia, I still tend to retain my old sickening habit of having a bad tongue from time to time. As the bible says, “tongue spits vipers”, but at times i still tend to lost my testimony by badmouthing, saying things that I shouldn’t have said, and at makes everyone uneasy. And this all brings me back to what my senior told me during RCYU#6 committee interview, “you have to learn to be more sincere”, she said and the voice still rang in my ear. All this while I thought that I’ve learn this lesson and had perfected, but when reality sets in I realize that I still got a long way to learn.

And to someone who just fell out of love, life is full of all kinds of possibilities, and this is just one of it. I understand the feeling of terminally being in hurting and thinking all day that you will never ever ever get up again. Don’t fret my friend, you’ll pull through somehow, I don’t know how but I just know that you’ll pull through. Be it another one who loved you more than the first, be it a song that revives you again, be it your family who accept you back again, I don’t know. I just want you to know that I am silently watching from the side and hoping that you’re well again. 

And to another friend who is ill and lost his love one recently, please hang on, this is just a test of patience and faith, and a chance to let you see what you are. Please just hang on and don’t let go.

And to those who are still breathing the air, happy 11.11.11.