Goodbye

I texted you once. No reply.

I thought you are using the other number and your current number is not active.

Try hard to recall the number combination that was once so familiar.

I texted you once again. No reply.

I thought you are not using any number, or your phone is spoiled or something.

The message is clear. I am nothing but just some annoying shit to you.

My heart shattered into broken piece yet again, as if it can be further broken down anymore.

I guess I will never again say that this is the last time you are gonna break my heart. I can only hope. I can only pray that the pain will pass, that I will pull through, that I will find someone worth keeping finally.

This sucks.

I wish I can hate you. I really do. I feel really helpless for being suck a stupid person.

...

It's always so hard to say goodbyes.

After the goodbyes, we will go our own ways and move on with our lives.

And behind those goodbyes, there are lotsa things that will be change, whether we want them to be or not.

I realize it's not the goodbyes that I feared, it's the change after that that is terrifying.

What can I say??

I am scared. Cause there are times when we did not appreciate what we have right in our hands, and when things changed, we finally realized what matters the most to us.

I am real scared. I am afraid of the unknown that lies behind this goodbye. I dread that things will not be the same anymore after I left.

I will miss every single one of you. I will miss our every conversation. I will miss those moments when our life crossed-path, even if it's just an exchange of looks, or a word or two. I will miss having you in my life. I will miss whatever that we once shared.

I am not saying these because I think that this is the end. But simply, this is the end of a chapter and the beginning of a new chapter. We all have to bid goodbye, in one form or another, get on with our life, and continue to cherish these beautiful old memories, and pray hard and hope that when we look back someday, we'll know that everything is still the same, and the friendship is intact and growing strong.

Take care.