One, Twenty-One Guns

Stupiakboy is officially, legally 21!! :D

Well, I am thinkin, since I am already 21, should I changed "Stupiakboy" to "Stupiakman" instead??

LOL, just a thought.

Birthday is not the big thing for me in my life I guess, so I guess my chapter 21 will be more or less not so eventful. But guess how it turned out?? I celebrated it for 6 times. Special thanks to Jun, and all friends who cared for me. Certainly this birthday had been a great one and its really different.

"There goes a guy's 20 years of roller coaster ride. Thanks to all of you who took all the trouble to make this birthday special for me, though this has become kinda monotonous for me already, year by year. Thanks for letting me have a few blasts this year and most importantly, know that I am a real person that own a place in all of your hearts. Its hard to thank everyone and each of you one by one but I just hope that my deepest gratitude can be felt from these dead cold lines of emotions. Friends, family, and love ones, you really have my thanks. And for those who took the trouble to leave a message to wish me, thanks a lot!! You guys sure have gave me the good luck to last me another year.. ^^"

...

Okay, here goes.

Tell me if I am weird or is everyone feeling the same too??

I feel like my life is starting to become a slur, like a swirling pool of memories, of recollections of who I am, my goals, and what am I suppose to do, of how this and that person mean to me and who are them to me.

weird?

Many times I was trying to delve into my conscious mind, reminisce on memories of the past, but sometimes those moments come out as a blur, and some i cannot even remember. It just feels like I have been living for too long, and now everything is starting to blur away at the face of time.

21, is it too long already??

And day just crept away day by day, and I just let it be.

I guess I've lost my momentum on life.

Happy Birthday to me.

Hope I will find new energy in the next post, one month from now maybe??

p.s. People seek for many things. Ultimately, it all lead to connection to someone, a sense that he/she understands you. I see that clearly now.