Silent Muse

Nothing much. Really.

After all that happening, my mind still couldn’t register to the fact that I’ve really changed a lot.

So yea, nothing much happened. Really.

…

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty sure is one of the highlight of my life, considering the fact that I’ve been to the theater to watch it twice. I really needa say that, Ben Stiller had really done a great great job in producing such a moving movie, and it totally pictured my definition to life.

“To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other and to feel. That, is the purpose of Life”

I find myself barely able to add furthermore into this statement. This completely just sums up everything for me. And I am completely awed with the little journey that Walter Mitty took and see that his life completely changed. I want to be like that too, to travel, to have a purpose to work hard for, and have a good company to fight with/for, and ultimately, finding that stream of joy coursing within me, even when the world starts to fall apart.

That’s life, and I cannot ask for more than that.

…

 

A month passed in the new year and I evaluated myself, and the promises that I’ve made to myself at the start of 2014; To live life out loud, and hoping all that I am is always enough for everyone.

But the truth is, no one can ever be enough for everyone, in fact no one can ever be enough for us (In a sense maybe I am the one who thinks so). And it is only unlikely that the perfect world residing within the sheath of my imagination can only stays in my head, not being able to play out in the reality.

I mean, no matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I Improved, there are still people who would deem me as unworthy to share his/her friendship, or at least be convinced that the friendship that I offer can only be pure.  I still sometimes disappoint people, even those whom I’ve given my all to in order to prove my worth.  I still become that reason to be sad for. I still am that person who hurts when he tries to hold on tighter.

And it was then I realize that I DON’T HAVE TO PLEASE EVERYONE.

And it was then I decided that I should live my life and be myself.

And it was then I know that I maybe right, or I might be wrong.

Thing is, am I really ready to lose all those relationships in the process of sieving out those who can really accept and cherish us for who we are? Am I really committed to be myself and no one else? Am I fully aware of the repercussions of my act and am willing to accept it?

I don’t think I will ever know the answer to that.

And here I was thinking that there will be a day when everyone will be getting along just perfectly fine regardless of all the differences. But now I know. The day will never ever come. Call this my rebellion against everything that I’ve been rooting for, but I have to challenge my faith in order to know that it is really true.

Or I will die trying.

...

To be ever Patient

Ever Loving

and ever Faithful

I am trying

And it ain't easy