That was a Long Hiatus Eh?

I'm back.

That's right, I am finally back.

As I slowly faded away from this realm where I can freely articulate my thoughts and shape them into blocks of words, many things happened and need lotsa time to get adjusted to, and in the end, I just disappeared, fade into black.

I never thought I will be back again, and I thought this is the point of my life when I need to say goodbye to this place where I have been abiding in for shelther, to this peaceful sanctuary of mine in the chaos. I thought I would lose it forever, as a guy who once think that he would never ever stop blogging.

I thought I am shutting the door, locking it, and walking away, and never remembering it again.

But I didn't.

I came back, because I just can't stand the ache of losing something which had done so much for me, something so dear. This place had selflessness take in all my disappointment, anger, thoughts, perceptions, happiness, hollowness without any reserve, and most importantly with no judgement at all. And who am I if I am hearty enough to leave this realm which had done so much for me?

And I am glad I am back.

Better than ever.

So what changed??

Life changes. Everyone changes. Nothing is the same if you are peeking through the same looking glass I was using the last time you read my post. Everything is constantly changing, or constantly exert, or being exert on, the force of change. Its ever-changing.

I am happier.
I found a reason to smile again.
I think I had gone astray, a bit.
I start to love Indian food, though the rest of my batchmates are still having this unknown hate towards these foods.
I become a more organized person, and therefore are often times troubled by minute matters that the Me in the past wouldnt give a damn to. Those academic, procedurial stuffs, and stuffs.
I think less.
I lost a friend to Atypical Pneumonia.
I lost hope and faith in many things.
I have had my share of sadness and sorrows, my routine of sleepless night.
And I am still holding on.

And oh btw, I got a twitter account. ^^

My friend told me if I compiled all my tweets (which is a total freaking huge number of 3000 tweets in short 2 months), they will be just about the length of a few blogs. But I think what I said here is more real than anything that I can disclose at anytime of the day, anywhere else. And this makes this place real. And I guess that's why I stayed, instead of moving on?

Well, I do realize without the honing of my blogging skills, my blogpost become a bit of unfluent and it sounds just... less interesting. But Anyways, I am just glad I am back.

...

Sometimes I think happiness and contentment in life is so simple.

It simply means losing grasp for the meaning of life, and finding new meaning of life when the sun shines again, and most importantly, how we SMILED in between.

We may lose hope, but doesn't mean we have to give up, and it doesn't mean its the end.

Perhaps, its the nature forcing us to look at the matter from a new angle?

We can only hope in times of doubts.

Holding On.

It relieves me a little to know that there are less and less people whom I know who actually reads my blog.

Don't get me wrong I am not starting to chase out friends who actually cares, but I slowly start to understand the meaning of keeping private matters to myself.

What's wrong with that kid who always wrote "http://stupiakboy.blogspot.com" on blackboard anyways?? IDK. Anyways, I figure it will be better those who doesn't care have their memory about this blog slowly fade away, so in the end I can freely fabricate my thoughts, with no restrictions and overconsiderations.

Look at me.

Here comes a time when I reach an all new All Time Low.

And I thought Life is hard enough on me already, but it just barrages on, each step higher than the other.

And the thing is, being on this foreign land forces us to be unbeatable, unchallengeable; but in the end we had been staying strong for too long we suddenly crumpled like a soft sheet of paper incapable of withstanding even the slightest bit of pressure. Just that one nudge into the soft spot will do the job, sending us crashing down into the dark lonely night

I've been so strong for so long, and it feels good to actually cry out. In like, since a long time ago?

I never remember it to be so relieving, and soul cleansing.

...

If One day you died,

What would you like people to say about you in your eulogy??

In the end, it's not your achievement that will be listed out one by one, but your impacts on people throughout your life. You can earn the whole world, but it doesn't worth more than a penny on that piece of paper that defines your legacy.

In turn. Think.

What do you want to achieve in Life?

Update : Surviving

This is literally the best pic I have taken in India, by far. Am really proud of my LUMIA camera. Despite the pixels are lousy a bit, it manage to capture the moment in its most beautiful form. The flashing of the roadlight, the blurred silhoutte of the car, the flashing lights on the tree, simply make these awesome people in the picture even more awesome. 

Am surviving still. Slowly.

Me and my housemate came out with a conclusion that there are just simply too much things to study here. 

We do study, in fact every night we do.

But the thing is, we cannot take in everything just by one read.

There are just simply too much things to read, and by-hard.

coupled with my awesomely lousy memory, it is a beautiful disaster. DX

Hoping to write a longer post the next time.

Crossroad

We come to crossroads that determines what do we want to pursue in our life.

But often enough, many distraction seem to blur our visions, keeping us from attaining what we truly need in this brief and short life.

We try to find someone who knows us from the inside out. But in the process we often lost ourselves, become someone who totally differs from who we are, just so we can be with someone who weren't meant for us. 

Shouldn't we just be ourselves, so that people can love us for who we are?

We try to gain great achievement in our life. But in the process we worn ourselves out, fighting so hard, giving up so much that what we have achieve can't really compensate the price that we've paid.

Shouldn't we just take one step at a time, and be contended with what we have at hand, cause it's an achievement itself??

We try to fulfill our dreams. But in the process our hearts become so wild that we are no longer satisfied with our little dreams. We dreamt bigger and forget of how simple our dreams used to be. 

Shouldn't we always remember how beautiful our dreams use to be and stay true to it??

We try to live a meaningful life. But in the process we stray away and searched for meaning in wrong places. We got hurt. We got disappointed while the truth is just out there trying to call out to us, but we are just too busy to hear that.

What on earth do I want??

And what on earth do I deserve??

...

It's between every laugh and smiles that I realize

 That I am getting better

Indian Summer in the Middle of Winter

Life, At a glance.

Still am busy actually. Day after day there are stuffs to do, to settle down, and heck we are already having class for 2 weeks already while some of our friends are still enjoying their life at home. Haven't really got accommodated to the 2.5 hours time difference here compare to Malaysia, as my body stil showing mild jet lag symptoms. ==

People often have the perception that the MYSORE-ans are really have the time of their life, from all this fun and exciting pictures of outings here and there. But then, who knows the silent tears shed in those sleepless nights?? And who will know the inner struggle that may be exist in these excited and crazy dentists-to-be??

The food here is not cheap here, mind you. 

Anyways, I hope I can settle down everything perhaps in a few weeks time and start to live a regular life, and that include time for blogs. =)

这样的日子

还充实吧？

...

People just love to be right.

People love to be the one who corrects other people, and be the one who leads other out into the light.

I am lost of words.

Why is the glory of being right so intriguing?

Do we really have to feel good ourselves just because we are able to correct others and wipe in their face, that how much they suck?

Sometimes it is just really unnecessary, cause when you are trying so hard to correct a person, you omitted the true reason behind the wrongs.

Maybe it's just an misunderstanding.

Maybe it's just a statement pointed in a wrong direction.

Maybe you are the one who's wrong.

When you judge fast, you are upsetting the intergrity existing around you. You become so full of yourself that you can't see those people who starts to leave you.

Let this serve as a reminder for all of us.

And yes, don't ever ever tap on my glass boundary.

...

我瘋你 別讓我說得太多
我瘋你 別讓我錯的太多
我瘋你 別讓我做得太多 
我瘋你 別讓我獲得太多
我瘋你 別讓我失去太多 

This Woman's Work

And there are times when you have these kind of moments in your life,

So beautiful 

That it hurts when it's gone.

And that's why I am letting go.

Because simply it won't do me any good to hold on to your goodness,

Which totally deviates from who you are now.

You are no longer the Cherrybum that I knew.

And therefore, I don't know you.

My memories will no longer register to anything that will bring up memories of you.

Nor I will breakdown ever again because of you.

You just simply don't worth it.

But I will pray to God.

That YOU can cope with the world that is slowly devouring you.

And I will still care, echoing from a deep trough of my heart,

A last act of genuine love, buried safe and sound.

This is cruel.

But this is life.

Impressoul. 第五个季节的日记。

大家，我过得很好

需要一个宁静的夜晚

静下心

调理思绪

Be Right Back