七彩回忆录

18 个月，我欣然回到原点

以前多么响往自由翱翔的日子，现在回到这里，什么改变了？

身高没变

名字没变

幼稚天真的心情失去了踪影

眼里看的世界不一样了

灰朦一片

黑白无常

胸膛扩了

心胸狭窄了

如果你问我可不可以回到从前

我会说不能

这些所有的一切

把我定格在此刻

一切所经历的

造就了今天的我

也辗碎了那疲惫的心灵

离开这地之前

想了许多

我到底能不能鼓起勇气

勇敢面对前方离开彼此的生活？

只是短短的三个月

却发现我好像活不下去了

一年半的欢笑

一年半的陪伴

一年半的眼泪

一年半的激励

一年半的奋斗

一年半的等待

等待完了

却不舍得离去

好像世界可以停止一样

我输了

一年半你们给我的一切

有再苦的回忆都好

我都不舍得忘掉

你们已成为了我心里的一部分

取代了我失去的另一部分

我变哑巴了

但我懂得珍惜了

许多人有不同的方式来保存回忆

就让我在这孤单的夜

独自追忆

那些年

我们一起奋斗的日子

朋友们，想你们了

Pre-graduation syndrome

Photos... As promised. Looking back I realized how many time have past and slipped away when we're so busy setting eyes on things that are not important in our life. Anyways, those little things in life are what makes life interesting, and colour life into a spectrum of radiance.

Most awesome Big 2 combo in the game. (One go )

Bug's life in a plate of curry rice 

"Seriously do you see that?? OMG that's a small cockroach"

"So what are you gonna do then??"

"Just ignore it lar.. eh you don't tell other people ar..."

(Next day, whole KTT student knows and boycott the shop)

*Power of KTT Gossips*

Anyone sleeps like a cocoon during a hot day?? 

Oh there he is.

A stupid Cicada which flew and is amputated by the ceiling fan on full speed.

On seach for the head.....

....

...

...

...

...

where's the head??

...

...

There, rest in pieces.

Oh well, end of another unproductive night... ><

Finally conquered Mega mac. Two layer burger with four beef pastries, two cheese, and two layer of veges, and it's MEGA!!

A girl who's fascinated over happy meal toy

1.This is what I do when i'm angry

2.I'm angry when i'm bored

3. I'm bored when the shop serving the dish is slow

4. Shop serving dish slow when the chef is some cutlery degree holder

5. When the chef is some cutlery degree holder, I'll do this.

Kajang Satay! POPULAR MUST TRY

Oops.... shhhh....

Church/collegemates @ last week together in church

Forever alone~

I heart ALU 12 . <3 p="p">

The picture speaks for itself

Happy birthday Bro!!

I think my humour came back a bit after the hectic A2 exams. I guess I'm slowly coming to my oldself? A goodsign apparently. Going to officially graduate from the college tomorrow, and i promise i'll make myself look good in the dinner tomorrow night and say proper goodbye to every friends that i have. And i promise i will take lotsa lotsa pictures. 

Promise is a promise. 

But if promise is not meant to be broken, what is??

wondering.

HIYA!!!!!!! =D

I slowly made my way to the source of the light. The blinding source seem distant but the very view of it warm up my heart. What is it that is waiting at the other side of the light? What is that that was forgotten throughout the course of study, endless revision, and waves follow by waves of exams? An unknown world awaits, as I shield my tiny eyes from the shining light, at the same time trying to make up the shape that makes up the whole outside world, my heart beats wildly as it anticipates a sign of relief from stresses and unreasonable bombardment of stupid test questions.

And the veil of light is removed before my eyes, slowly as my eyes began to adjust to the light outside, i can feel my heart jumped in delight. 

Wait. What's this??
Why is everything so different??
Everyone??

Help...

Oh well, we finally finished our A2 exam, which also means completing the A level pre-university education. Everything is gone just like that, all efforts, and hardwork all poured into the coming A level result which will be revealed on the 21st of January 2013, which will ultimately determine my fate of whether to go to india or just simply indonesia. Other than that, i think we have a lot of catch up to do.

Friends, I miss you.
And me myself, I miss myself too. I mean, the old me.

At least the O' demon of examinations is not stopping me from being nice this time round huh?
And i think i haven't been updating and upload any photos on this blogosphere since long right??

HMMM...
Coming right up!

Fix You

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Anorexic

Can't feel any weirder after the coming back from the long hiatus.
Exam is now on going and sadly extremely excruciating. Many things happened. People are pushed to their limits. And many problem emerges, need to be faced and solved.

I think I'm so loosely attached to everything, in a way I tend to seclude myself from everything, and think that it's even okay when it is not. Merely by reflect on myself and my condition, I know that I'm now non-existent, and not significant in the community.

Why is that so??
Maybe its because I've never really rooted in any place since I was born?
All my life I've encountered many times of switching environment, moving into new places, change school. All that, with new norms, new friends, and new characteristics developed to adapt to the new surrounding.

And from all that, I've never really emotionally attached to any people or places long enough for me to feel complacent with my life. If truth be told, do I really know the complacency that I am seeking? Why can't things be any easier?

It's not cool at all to victimized myself like this, but I just don't know how to get out of it. What is the thing that I'm seeking??

19 more days to the end of A2.

Titanium

Current me

Just got my new haircut these days. Sadly I'm known for having issues with barbers and the hairstyle that i get, so the outcome wasn't so good and turns out i got a new " fashion " look, which is not good at all in my taste. Sigh, looks like I will always be hairstyle disaster's victim.

...

Life is still awesome. 8 days left to the upcoming A2 exam.

My memories are still recounting on a vivid memoir of counting down the 19th day before the exam, and time trolled me. One blink of an eye, blast it, we're only now left with 8 days..

What a funny mockery.

And as I lay dying , independent life continues to teach me precious life lessons that i could never have learnt in my past 17 years of sheltered life. I also delved deeper into my own conscious than never before, getting a closer look of my fragile self. Alas, this life is coming to the end, and it seem not everyone is really ready to let this life go just yet. All these sweet memories, memorable reminiscence, are still too fresh to be kept away and stored in our young brilliant brains. But life is what life is like, a taste is never nice until you start to realize that you missed it. For me the feeling is merely overwhelming.

Looking back I can't quite recall the day when I stepped into this place, still a stranger to this place, looking deserted like never before, and slowly adaptation kicks in, bonds are formed, friends were made, knowledge were learnt, promises are broken, lessons are learnt, and up until today I've become a different man, seasoned by experienced and emotionally torn down by all these experience that i have to gone through  by myself. It is seriously not easy, and by looking back I have learnt to give myself a pat on my own shoulder for all the struggles that I've been through.

Seriously and honestly though, I am disappointed to find that there are no more friendship that are pure as those friendships I get back in my earlier school days. People seems to live here for something, or for someone. There aren't much pure friendship left here in this seemingly warm-on-the-outside community, which makes me wonder if this is the cruel price of growing into a man.

To grow up, we must learn to throw away all naivety.

Hide away all our problems, 

Wear a mask

Muster a smile 

And drag our soulless husk on.

Out of my hands, out of my hands

All over again

I’m hanging on, just hanging by a golden thread

Just wanna know while everything’s unraveling

I’m hanging on, just hanging by a golden thread

I'm bulletproof

Nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet
You take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down
But I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down
But I won't fall
I am titanium

To : Dear A2

 Bring it on and try to shoot me down, the thing is I just won't fall.

Campus Exotica

Ever experience an uphill battle?? 

The feeling when there's a mountain too high, that you can never imagine that you will ever climb through, as though something had bind you in place, unable to make any progress. Everything feels like a pilgrimage to doom in its finest form.

The despair, the hopelessness, knit together to form a melody so delicate it melts your heart and wavers your shaky confidence. Desperation will just eat away your previous successes, rendering them into illusions that you can no longer hold on to, while you yourself sink slowly, uncontrollably into your own death.

A2 is coming in 19 days, and DAMNIT I still know not enough in order to tackle this ordeal. Lotsa syllables to cover, lotsa commitment to keep, plus lotsa relationships to watch out for. The weight of simply everything is crushing the hope out of me. Worst still, human nature manifested during this end of days.

I see people showing their true colour, minding their own business, while watching other fall, as if its just norm of daily living. Is it true that "The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who looked on and do nothing" ??

I see people found their flock of intelligent species, as they gather and indulge in their false sense of belonging, utilizing each other just because they have the same level of intelligence. The way they please each other, gently discussing on topic that mattered really sickens me. 

I see the worst of all, survival instinct at its best. WHY THE HELL YOU GUYS HOLD BACK YOUR KNOWLEDGES?? IS IT TOO HARD OR UNFAIR TO SHARE WHAT YOU KNOW?? WHAT'S WITH THAT FACE? WHAT'S WITH THAT ATTITUDE IF I AM JUST SIMPLY A DUDE WHO COMPREHENDS SLOWER?? DO I DESERVE YOUR DISGUST JUST BECAUSE I AM SIMPLY A SLOW LEARNER? AND WHY IS YOUR FACE AND ATTITUDE DIFFERENT AGAIN WHEN YOU NEEDED MY FAVOUR??

There stood a giant mountain, higher than never before. And there I stood, in place, in desperation, questioning my will to carry on.

Should I continue??

Should I??

Should I Not?

What's holding me back from stopping?

What'stopping me from achieving?

If only I am as smart as you all, I'll be more worthy to be utilized by you all.

If only I am richer like YOU, I'll be desirable in everyway, because I look even better than YOU.

If only I am as sociable/fake as I was, I would have you all flattered by my sweet talks, without fail

If only I am popular, I would not have to go through all this outside the spotlight, where peopled don't even cared

If only I am BRILLIANT, i wouldn't have to stay alone at home all day, listen to my own solitude mocking at  me.

19 days. I have to put down, and pick up, and fight hard.