Titanium

Current me

Just got my new haircut these days. Sadly I'm known for having issues with barbers and the hairstyle that i get, so the outcome wasn't so good and turns out i got a new " fashion " look, which is not good at all in my taste. Sigh, looks like I will always be hairstyle disaster's victim.

...

Life is still awesome. 8 days left to the upcoming A2 exam.

My memories are still recounting on a vivid memoir of counting down the 19th day before the exam, and time trolled me. One blink of an eye, blast it, we're only now left with 8 days..

What a funny mockery.

And as I lay dying , independent life continues to teach me precious life lessons that i could never have learnt in my past 17 years of sheltered life. I also delved deeper into my own conscious than never before, getting a closer look of my fragile self. Alas, this life is coming to the end, and it seem not everyone is really ready to let this life go just yet. All these sweet memories, memorable reminiscence, are still too fresh to be kept away and stored in our young brilliant brains. But life is what life is like, a taste is never nice until you start to realize that you missed it. For me the feeling is merely overwhelming.

Looking back I can't quite recall the day when I stepped into this place, still a stranger to this place, looking deserted like never before, and slowly adaptation kicks in, bonds are formed, friends were made, knowledge were learnt, promises are broken, lessons are learnt, and up until today I've become a different man, seasoned by experienced and emotionally torn down by all these experience that i have to gone through  by myself. It is seriously not easy, and by looking back I have learnt to give myself a pat on my own shoulder for all the struggles that I've been through.

Seriously and honestly though, I am disappointed to find that there are no more friendship that are pure as those friendships I get back in my earlier school days. People seems to live here for something, or for someone. There aren't much pure friendship left here in this seemingly warm-on-the-outside community, which makes me wonder if this is the cruel price of growing into a man.

To grow up, we must learn to throw away all naivety.

Hide away all our problems, 

Wear a mask

Muster a smile 

And drag our soulless husk on.

Out of my hands, out of my hands

All over again

I’m hanging on, just hanging by a golden thread

Just wanna know while everything’s unraveling

I’m hanging on, just hanging by a golden thread

I'm bulletproof

Nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet
You take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down
But I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down
But I won't fall
I am titanium

To : Dear A2

 Bring it on and try to shoot me down, the thing is I just won't fall.

Campus Exotica

Ever experience an uphill battle?? 

The feeling when there's a mountain too high, that you can never imagine that you will ever climb through, as though something had bind you in place, unable to make any progress. Everything feels like a pilgrimage to doom in its finest form.

The despair, the hopelessness, knit together to form a melody so delicate it melts your heart and wavers your shaky confidence. Desperation will just eat away your previous successes, rendering them into illusions that you can no longer hold on to, while you yourself sink slowly, uncontrollably into your own death.

A2 is coming in 19 days, and DAMNIT I still know not enough in order to tackle this ordeal. Lotsa syllables to cover, lotsa commitment to keep, plus lotsa relationships to watch out for. The weight of simply everything is crushing the hope out of me. Worst still, human nature manifested during this end of days.

I see people showing their true colour, minding their own business, while watching other fall, as if its just norm of daily living. Is it true that "The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who looked on and do nothing" ??

I see people found their flock of intelligent species, as they gather and indulge in their false sense of belonging, utilizing each other just because they have the same level of intelligence. The way they please each other, gently discussing on topic that mattered really sickens me. 

I see the worst of all, survival instinct at its best. WHY THE HELL YOU GUYS HOLD BACK YOUR KNOWLEDGES?? IS IT TOO HARD OR UNFAIR TO SHARE WHAT YOU KNOW?? WHAT'S WITH THAT FACE? WHAT'S WITH THAT ATTITUDE IF I AM JUST SIMPLY A DUDE WHO COMPREHENDS SLOWER?? DO I DESERVE YOUR DISGUST JUST BECAUSE I AM SIMPLY A SLOW LEARNER? AND WHY IS YOUR FACE AND ATTITUDE DIFFERENT AGAIN WHEN YOU NEEDED MY FAVOUR??

There stood a giant mountain, higher than never before. And there I stood, in place, in desperation, questioning my will to carry on.

Should I continue??

Should I??

Should I Not?

What's holding me back from stopping?

What'stopping me from achieving?

If only I am as smart as you all, I'll be more worthy to be utilized by you all.

If only I am richer like YOU, I'll be desirable in everyway, because I look even better than YOU.

If only I am as sociable/fake as I was, I would have you all flattered by my sweet talks, without fail

If only I am popular, I would not have to go through all this outside the spotlight, where peopled don't even cared

If only I am BRILLIANT, i wouldn't have to stay alone at home all day, listen to my own solitude mocking at  me.

19 days. I have to put down, and pick up, and fight hard.

Will You Follow the Breadcrumbs Home?

Dear oh Gretel,

You are a loving sister of mine

Please don't be sad 

For the breadcrumbs will lead us home.

Dear oh Gretel,

The night is cold and long,

Don't you fret

For the breadcrumbs will lead us home.

Sometimes darkness seems never-ending

Sometimes it might consumes your soul

Tearing you apart from your very seams 

But fear not

Dawn is nigh

As long as you follow the breadcrumbs home.

Oh Dear Gretel

Perhaps you're still too sad to admit that you're lost

But don't tremble

I am Hansel 

And I am here.

I will lead you,

Through the meandering path of this world

Through the plain, the river, and the valley

And towards the end

Where we will catch a glimpse of light.

FIN

月光

城里的月光把梦照亮

请温暖她心房

看透了人间聚散

能不能多点快乐片段

城里的月光把梦照亮

请守护她身旁

若有一天能重逢

把幸福撒满整个夜晚