Making a Mental Note

I needa find my way back to the start.
I thank God for this opportunity to set things right again, to make amends for things/people that I had gave up on in the past, and to finally let go things that are not worth to be kept.

Moving back to my old acient lousy dilapitated college is truly a blessing in this trying times, although the condition of the college worsens over the short 3 months ( surprisingly ). Anyways, i'm glad to have my friends back, and even my shitting hours got more and more accurate over the settling-down-week ( Which never does when i'm back in Sarawak home. XD )

We can just wait and see, no?
This brief three months is definitely not something that I want to waste.

...

My words can't make account for what happened recently.

There are so much buried in me, and unfortunately it's just too hard to bring it up and pour it out.

What? Am I clogged?

My dream is to become a singer

Maybe it's because when I sing

People will actually care for what I sing

My words

The feeling hiding behind the melancholic voice of mine.

Capri

I have to say, with my latest change of cellphone from a proper button phone to another button phone with VGA camera and no USB port, i really crave for smart phone seeing that all my housemates had changed their phone, adding up to 1 Samsung galaxy note 2, 1 Samsung galaxy S2, 2 Samsung galaxy S3, and 1 HTC butterfly, i don't think I can upload my own photo for the time being. Anyways, i'll upload tumblr photos to make up to all my readers lol...

Anyways, who here is kind enough to sponsor me to buy a smartphone?? an S2 will suffice. =)

...

Everyone have their stories.

Mine is a constant witness of Capricious nature of human. And the aching frustration to find a place in the world.

People changes. Sometimes they are completely unaware of their change, at the most unexpected hour, or right under our eyes. That's why many ask "why had you changed?"

Sometimes when you meet people and get to know about their fate, sometimes you'll have this feeling that they'll understand your situation just because they had taste the same encounter as yours. You feel secured. You opened up all your weaknesses to them, knowing that they'll be understanding and support you.

But eventually, they changed too. Because we all lead a different life, and our lives, though coincides, will part again when our destinies lead us towards different directions. What's left are only attachments and reminiscence that aches and echoed around the dark corner of life.

And down this rollercoaster ride, who's gonna know where the end of the track is? And what will be lying, waiting there??

那些年

小学六年级的朋友，千拖万拖，过了八年，终于出现了。。。

哦对了，只出现了五分之一。

那些年，我们一起疯狂的日子。

那些年的笑话，眼泪，天真，幼稚，依然历历在目。回忆当年，谈笑风生。
那些年的小外号
谁喜欢谁
哪个跟哪个在一起
喜欢的老师
讨厌的老师
好像都忘了，但是朋友在一起，忽然大家都回到了2005年，
那些年，无价的回忆。

是不是我们都忙着长大，忘了停下来，歇一歇身子，谈谈那日子，回首寒暄？？
是不是我们都慢慢变得不切实际，抓不住的偏偏死去活来都不要放开，该珍惜的却都抛弃了？？


结果回家comment 这边 comment 那边下，忽然什么都用起华语来。。。 ==

...

Now you are just a constant aching in me

A broken sweet dream

A naive thought

A stab

in my heart

14/2/2013

如果你願意一層一層一層 的剝開我的心

你會發現 你會訝異

你是我 最壓抑 最深處的秘密

如果你願意一層一層一層 的剝開我的心

你會鼻酸 你會流淚

只要你能 聽到我 看到我的全心全意

Mindblogging~

So that's it. Now is the time for me to return to Sibu, my dad's and my hometown.

The truth is, I don't like Chinese New Year at all. Because Bad luck never fails to find me and cause me much misery. And everytime when the Chinese New Year is around the corner, the whole atmosphere just never fail to pull my mood down.

I'm not trying to sound anti-tradition, or not loving my own culture. But just that everything that happened everytime subconciously influenced my point of view towards Chinese New Year.

It's all because of  Perception

I can still remember the anxiety of looking at the phone over and over again in a brief 5 minutes, anticipating the next text which will evidently change my course of life. However, waiting do hurts, and anticipation is not a good thing when people on the other tend to let you wait in excruciating pain.

I can still remember the late into the night calls, each more heartbreaking than the last, leading into sleepless nights that torments my fragile soul.

All that happens during the season of fire crackers and visitings. 

And as you know synapses links during learning, relating that particular feeling with the experience, you can never deny the pain when all those memories all come back at once on this season of fire crackers and visitings.

Anyways, I'm just crapping to myself literally. Feel free to ignore this.

...

Anways, I got my new Malaysian Identification card already.

It sure do surprise me that I've changed a lot over the years.

Yet the opposite in the eyes of some people.

Yet again, perceptions.

Embrace

She met him there. After such a long time.

It's an arrangement, God knows how much had she been not meeting him, now he's finally back, and the moment feels just magical.

He appeared, slowly pushing his luggage loaded in the trolley. His face instantly lit up with a broad smile as he saw the charming face of her among the crowds. His paced fastened, as their distance slowly decreases.

They embraces. She hug her so tight that he's actually feeling that he's chocking. But what's more precious than that? All that separation brings to this moment, and it's totally worth it. The strand of unkempt hair still lying on her face, her silly smile, the light in her eyes, her adorable voice, all this fits together like puzzle pieces, into a brilliant  picture.

It took a while for her to finally let go, she took her hand, turn it so that his palm is facing up, and gave him something.

A box of love-shape Ferrero Roche, with ribbons carefully tied into a blossom of flower.

She gleamed gleefully, as the man she had waited is now finally back, as he took her into his arms, and together they went on, leaving a warm spot there at the arrival hall





The scene just tear me up as I look at them while looking back at myself.
Simple gestures are just what that make a person feels so special.
They feel loved
They feel appreciated

This all will be even touching than expensive gifts, and treasure of the world
Because these simple gestures means everything, and they reflects the heart.