I dont know why would I always come back to talk about this topic, death.
Somehow my life is surrounded by lots of death.
Is it meant to be?
Does all these experience is a lesson to teach me something about life?
Are all these some sort of preparation for something in the future?
I am not sure.
How does it feel when life slowly drains out of your body.
You slowly lose control over things that sustains your life,
Your breathing
Your vision
Your hearing
Everything slowly shift into a nightmarish state of blur.
You want scream, you want to do something to resuscitate yourself but alas,
you can only patiently let it pass, or let you pass.
It happened to my patient today.
Long story short he suffered from a panic attack while a procedure is carried out and he quickly slip into unconsciousness.
Everything can be fine till that one point when everything goes to hell.
It happened so fast, and so sudden, we can only react instead of stop and think carefully what to do next.
One wrong move, he might be dead.
I can clearly see him struggle to keep himself awake, taking deep breaths while slipping in and out of consciousness.
And to make the matters worst, his mom act as though her child is at the verge of death, which is not really helping anyone. I guess you can see how chaotic the situation was from my incoherence in my recount. I was sorta semi-traumatised.
First time in my life. I vow to not let my pt suffer the same thing ever, in best of my ability.
Putting that aside, I remembered when I had fair share of the experienced too.
I was just standing outside the door, struggling for breath when my vision starts to lose its colour. Everything turned black and white. and the surrounding noise got slowly muted, and my consciousness slowly fading. I feel like i might pass out and pass away at any moment.
The world became a silent dark world all of a sudden.
Was I scared?
No, I was focusing on trying to be better. I guess my brain still works as I tried my best to diagnose what is wrong with me, whether its respiratory centre suppresion, hypoxia, hypercalcemia, that sort of thing, in the moment.
I guess some people truly dont feel afraid when they die because they are too occupied with other things like staying alive.
Anyways, I guess I am no stranger to death, while I quietly wait for the passing of another person in my life.
Terminal Stage Prostate Cancer with metastasis.
While the whole world prayed for some miracle healing, me as a man of science knows for a fact that we should now plan for the worst and appreciate whatever time we have.
Such sad reality.
Perhaps we will revisit this topic yet again, someday.
Somehow my life is surrounded by lots of death.
Is it meant to be?
Does all these experience is a lesson to teach me something about life?
Are all these some sort of preparation for something in the future?
I am not sure.
How does it feel when life slowly drains out of your body.
You slowly lose control over things that sustains your life,
Your breathing
Your vision
Your hearing
Everything slowly shift into a nightmarish state of blur.
You want scream, you want to do something to resuscitate yourself but alas,
you can only patiently let it pass, or let you pass.
It happened to my patient today.
Long story short he suffered from a panic attack while a procedure is carried out and he quickly slip into unconsciousness.
Everything can be fine till that one point when everything goes to hell.
It happened so fast, and so sudden, we can only react instead of stop and think carefully what to do next.
One wrong move, he might be dead.
I can clearly see him struggle to keep himself awake, taking deep breaths while slipping in and out of consciousness.
And to make the matters worst, his mom act as though her child is at the verge of death, which is not really helping anyone. I guess you can see how chaotic the situation was from my incoherence in my recount. I was sorta semi-traumatised.
First time in my life. I vow to not let my pt suffer the same thing ever, in best of my ability.
Putting that aside, I remembered when I had fair share of the experienced too.
I was just standing outside the door, struggling for breath when my vision starts to lose its colour. Everything turned black and white. and the surrounding noise got slowly muted, and my consciousness slowly fading. I feel like i might pass out and pass away at any moment.
The world became a silent dark world all of a sudden.
Was I scared?
No, I was focusing on trying to be better. I guess my brain still works as I tried my best to diagnose what is wrong with me, whether its respiratory centre suppresion, hypoxia, hypercalcemia, that sort of thing, in the moment.
I guess some people truly dont feel afraid when they die because they are too occupied with other things like staying alive.
Anyways, I guess I am no stranger to death, while I quietly wait for the passing of another person in my life.
Terminal Stage Prostate Cancer with metastasis.
While the whole world prayed for some miracle healing, me as a man of science knows for a fact that we should now plan for the worst and appreciate whatever time we have.
Such sad reality.
Perhaps we will revisit this topic yet again, someday.
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