Christos Anesthe!!!

Holy Week passed just like that.
Damn me myself I think I am not at all prepared for this, lotsa happenings, and lotsa things on my mind, and lotsa distraction that pulled me away.

I keep on promise myself that I need to quiet myself down and think about how A Total stranger had died just so I'm saved from eternal damnation.
I promised myself that I've to be feeling thankful for the sacrifice that He had make for me, His life for mine.

But I failed terribly. I damn-it failed miserably.


She used to led me closer to Him. I thanked God daily for her, thinking that my whole life had been done for and all will be well, and that all that will continue on forever, me eternally grateful for a girl.

Perhaps I was too wrong, so wrong that now I am left with nothing to drag myself up and believe in Him again. It all shattered, and fade into black. I am wrong. I am wrong. And I'm so disappointed in myself and so guilty for being like this.

But the thing is, I still can't see the end of the road, i don't see how things can be smoothen. I see more opportunities for me to rough up my faith.

I still don't get to what extend a love can be when a person can die for a total stranger, and still loves him even though he'd let him down again and again.

I still don't feel how great that love can be, and conceptualize and Enternalize that love in me.

I only see a Guy on the cross, and he so called bore our sins and died for me. 

Despite all these feelings, a clear voice echoed in my mind, that during my darkest hours, he's the one who held me and carry me on, and pull me through, just so I can breakthrough again. I really need mercy, more wisdom that Solomon posses, more faith which Ruth had, and more touching of spirit, even more than what Elisha and Elijah had ever had.

I really need YOUR mercy, dear Lord.

It do comforts me there's someone not of this world who promise more than those in this world can ever offer.

I just need that faith to claim the promise and take the leap of faith.

Happy Easter to All my readers. =)

May God bless you all abundantly.

Pledged

As promised I am blogging here for something nice and cool this time round. XD
This thing is going viral man!! Kudos to Patrick and hope all this make your day. =) cheers. XD

Hey There. =D

I wonder if that's why I sleep a lot..

Well, things work for a while, then they don't anymore. Memories still retain after waking up, and all intoxicating fantasy is just all but a lucid dream. Afterall, reality still had to be faced after waking up.

And that, people sleep more and more, just so they can go back to the dream where everything is just different from the world that they've lived in. In the end, the world that they dreamt of became their world, and their world became just a painful nightmare.

What irony is that, when we've all lost hope in the real world, and we turn into imaginary ones, for a temporary bubble of hope.

...

This is certainly really funny. XD

A certain Patrick told me that my blogposts are mostly sad ones, which really differs from the real me in life. (Yea, I know right. Tell me about it XD) 

By looking back, i think i had somehow devolved from some crazy, no-logic kid who always blog about random, lame happenings around him. Now. Me, a natural pessimist who's dying to find meaning behind everything (Oh, shut up Joshua).

8 Years of blogging really changes a person. Or rather, changes are observed through blogging as the person tackles life. Cross-referencing between blogposts from different years really showed how life became more complicated over the years.

Life SUCKS.

Oh, well, i hereby pledge to update on something cooler on my next blog update. =)

...

Oh random you

You told me my eyes are talking to you

Indeed they are

but just don't get my hopes high up just yet

Let me enjoy

and sleep in this sweet slumber of rest

Closure

Closure.

Put this in a way, everyone has this ultimate wish to gain closure with other people in order to earn sense of belonging in reality.
Being able to tap into others feelings at will, and know about their little secrets. Without it, what value do we have left in us? How can one still lives when he alone is a loner, who speaks to himself and deal on his own?

Third one in this quarter of year. To tell the truth, I'm actually numb enough to ignore all this and press on, this is a cruel cruel world anyways. Why people got more and more complicated over the years? This question spun around in my head from time to time, and I'm still unable to tell why.

...

From the way I see it.

I'm just a deep dark swirl with no bottom.

Unpredictable, Unrecognizable, and Untouchable.

There are times when I do things that even surprise myself.

And there are time when I go out of my reach.

But hey, 

why bother justify for my own actions??

It's a burden to live under other's expectation, 

to live in a boundary set down by others.

In the end I got so worn out,

while people just keep on ask for more,

stricter bounds,

Until I am out of breath.

Well.

Sigh.

Thanks Hannah Montana for appearing during the tying times. I cried out and you just appeared. =)

And not having a smartphone sucks. I craved to take my own picture. 

=)

心情。沉淀.

Hey,

My University placement is going to be announced tomorrow. I'm really really really anxious and worry, can't sleep at all. I guess I will just write everything here,  and perhaps wish that, someday you'll remember me, and stumble across this, and that you'll know.

Now the place just doesn't matter anymore.

It's the people that'll be going with me.

Come to think of it,

A big family of us KTT-ians, are all bound to separation, and on our way to different universities.

They are all good people you know.

2 years of living together, teaching each other and holding each other up, and now all we have left is 2 months.

2 months now seem really really short. Feel like a vapour bound to fade in the wind.

I'll for sure miss them terribly, and now thinking the fact that we had to get used to not having each other around for the rest of our life makes me ache inside.

It's not just you who can make me feel this way you know.

I guess now I realize they are playing a huge part in my life too, perhaps a little too late.

2 heartbreaks in a short quarter of year. Wow.

Now I just wish to have your firm shoulders there for me, though it'll be unlikely.

I'll just deal with it and embrace the suck.

Your listening ears.

Your comforting words.

Your loving stares.

I just wish they are all here. I really hope so.

...

菊花殘滿地傷

你的笑容已泛黃

花落人斷腸

我心事靜靜躺

北風亂夜未央

你的影子剪不斷

徒留我孤單

在湖面成雙

...

What have I done recently is really not me.

Perhaps I am all too desperate.

All this craziness and energy, somehow twisted me myself.

I don't like being like this. As though I have been pretending to be happy all the while.

That I'm not affected by it at all. 

Do I have to be like this??

I only want to be responsible. To have a true commitment. And to be repaid. 

Now I am acting as though I have lost nothing but just junks that are not worth to be kept.

I know I will soon get over it and everything will soon be just be history.

But not now.

Time to turn back.

*revert*

Wouldn't you just care if i tear up??

Wouldn't you?

Untitled

I switched on my MP3
Randomize the playlist
And play on

Weirdly enough
I let our songs played through
As much as it hurts
I listened
Although the ache drown me

And sadly enough
In this world of broken promises and unkept words
I chose to believe in you
And hold on to the last brittle straw
Until it breaks and shatters
And fade away

Do you still remember about forever??
Don't you not?

...

Darn, there's still too much holding within me

shall I just pretend on??

It'll get over really soon i suppose?

...

你会不会突然地出现

在街角的咖啡店

我会带着笑脸

回首寒暄

和你坐着聊聊天

不再去说从前

只是说一句

好久不见

The Odd Life of Timothy Green

This movie is about changed lives.

The old adage about making lemonade when life hands you lemons isn't always the best way to go. Sometimes, when life hands you lemons, you have to grieve your losses. And that's exactly what Cindy and Jim do. Although they were told that they are unable to conceive a child, they embrace the suck and sit down with a bottle of wine, a pencil and several pieces of paper, and their own raw hearts. They spend the evening writing down all of the qualities they imagine their child would have.

When they're done, they put the papers in a box and bury it in the garden, hoping to bring closure to the loss of a dream. However, during a big storm that night, something — or rather, someone — grows in the garden: A boy named Timothy.

A boy that will love and be loved

Honest to a fault

Score the winning goal

Have a Good Heart

Never Give up

ROCK

and be funny like Uncle Bub.

As perfect as the child can be, he slowly faded away as he slowly achieved what Jim and Cindy dreamt of.

And he is gone as fast as he came.

Jim and Cindy want something so bad, they are actually given an opportunity to get what they want all the while. Though the meeting with Timothy is a short one, many things are changed, and Jim and Cindy are allowed to make new and better mistakes to be the ideal parents for the one on her way to join the Green family.


Ain't life about seized and missed opportunity??

Confession of a broken soul

Only God's love is truly consuming and unconditional.

Oh ya, just that at the moment.