心情。沉淀.


Hey,
My University placement is going to be announced tomorrow. I'm really really really anxious and worry, can't sleep at all. I guess I will just write everything here,  and perhaps wish that, someday you'll remember me, and stumble across this, and that you'll know.

Now the place just doesn't matter anymore.
It's the people that'll be going with me.
Come to think of it,
A big family of us KTT-ians, are all bound to separation, and on our way to different universities.

They are all good people you know.
2 years of living together, teaching each other and holding each other up, and now all we have left is 2 months.
2 months now seem really really short. Feel like a vapour bound to fade in the wind.
I'll for sure miss them terribly, and now thinking the fact that we had to get used to not having each other around for the rest of our life makes me ache inside.

It's not just you who can make me feel this way you know.
I guess now I realize they are playing a huge part in my life too, perhaps a little too late.
2 heartbreaks in a short quarter of year. Wow.

Now I just wish to have your firm shoulders there for me, though it'll be unlikely.
I'll just deal with it and embrace the suck.
Your listening ears.
Your comforting words.
Your loving stares.
I just wish they are all here. I really hope so.


...


菊花殘滿地傷
你的笑容已泛黃
花落人斷腸
我心事靜靜躺
北風亂夜未央
你的影子剪不斷
徒留我孤單
在湖面成雙

...


What have I done recently is really not me.
Perhaps I am all too desperate.
All this craziness and energy, somehow twisted me myself.

I don't like being like this. As though I have been pretending to be happy all the while.
That I'm not affected by it at all. 

Do I have to be like this??
I only want to be responsible. To have a true commitment. And to be repaid. 
Now I am acting as though I have lost nothing but just junks that are not worth to be kept.

I know I will soon get over it and everything will soon be just be history.
But not now.
Time to turn back.


*revert*




Wouldn't you just care if i tear up??
Wouldn't you?



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