We've all grown so much we start to think back to those days when all we have to think about is tests and endless tuitions.
We used to come to class reluctantly then faces lit up when we see each other
We would talk about the serial we all watched the night before, if not the latest not-so-canggih game, or the latest progression of the anime story in the weekend.
We would hang around whenever and wherever, and seriously, we dont have a proper topic to talk about, but now its like every words and conversations are still fresh in my mind.
We would sometimes quarrel, you once told me that we are not friends anymore but in the end you cant help but came back and talk to me, pretending nothing ever happened between us
And seriously, those childish cards that we play are all we have. We don need no expensive Starbucks coffee, nor benefits for either of us out of this friendship to make us stay. People would ask us, why be friends? but why, why cant we be friends?
Back then, living is simple. We dont have to squint hard into our life to contemplate what meaning does it brings for us everyday. We dont have to craft each everyday sentences carefully, tip-toeing so we wont venture into places we werent suppose to. Our ego wasnt so developed, others werent usually hurted by our unintentional gesture, nor are we easily hurted by others gesture. Back then, we dont have to be someone else, but just be.
Maybe I am just feeling tired for the time being, but living suddenly take efforts. And suddenly, faces that I see no longer look like those which I have seen, and living everyday feels like crossing a warzone, with much to handle, much to ponder upon, and much to cry about.
I am out.
I am down.
And more importantly, I miss how simple people used to be, before ego comes in, before success become something that matters, before benefits weigh more than friendships.
...
Solitary Mimbletonia, Its been so Long. And I think I've been imagining having conversation with you for far too much times.
I am so happy you made it out, that you've written your story on your own. A glorious victory, holding that roll of paper, that bouquet of flower. I couldnt imagine another ending to a chapter that deserving for you. You deserve it, well done.
And oh, I think I've forgotten what your favourite colour is. And sometimes I forgot how do you look like. Everything seems so vague now, I guess its just that we've come so far since we last crossed path.
Sometimes I can't help but think, what would it be like if we made it out alive back then; or what if I was like who I am now back then? I guess no one would know. But I thank you for teaching me how to be a better guy, as you are the one who showed me the proper way to be a gentlemen. You broke me, but in a way you made me.
Though insignificant as I am to you now, my wish for you is that you will continue to be the author of your life, chasing that dream that you wanted, doing things that makes you happy, and ultimately, living a full life surrounded by those who love you.
Perhaps this is the best ending for the both of us.
