Sucks to be me

I am always fond of vanilla ice-creams.
Maybe it's because when I was little, my parents used to bring me to this nice little buffet restaurant in the city.
It's my first ever buffet dinner, mind you.

Surprisingly, all the foods, hot dog rolls ( having hot dog rolls can kinda tell you this isn't any luxurious buffet dinner), fried food, the chicken really made my day. And oh gosh the ice-cream, I wont ever ever forget its taste ever since.

And now, I am constantly on the search for the familiar, unforgettable vanilla ice-cream flavour anywhere. And on rare occasions when I found it, it will be a blissful treat, and somehow my mind will always bring me back to that day, when the little boy enjoyed his buffet ice-cream, when life was good.

And we humans are all the same, we will all do whatever it takes to feel good, to bring us back to the day when we felt good.

...

Is it okay, when we hurt someone, we justify it by saying because others hurt us too?

Is it alright to hurt if that person hurted us, in a manner it became a justly executed retaliation;

or isit just plain wrong??

How would you defend yourself?

And is it right?

...

My life took a turn.

Used to be restless and relaxing life now becoming tiring, I am barely holding my eyes open now, and gosh its only 11.47 pm.

I will try my best, to fight for a better tomorrow.

God, I need strength.

Diary Entry 7/9/2019

Honestly I've got a lot to say,  a lot to recount.

But life finds a way to separate me from this sanctuary of mine.

So, Dear Diary,

Work is fine. Challenging but fine.

There are days when I just breeze through all the work and walk away like a true victor.

And there are days when I blamed myself more than anyone could for unable to solve my patient's problem.

She say, I am kinda weird for I love my job and I really enjoyed working. But, just I wait, soon I will be as lazy and resentful as all the others out there.

I sincerely hope that is not true. I hope my little candle of passion can light up the darkness.

...

Life can be tough

But what is tougher is dealing with people.

I've witness first hand, of people who can smile and talk to you, but backstab you when you are not around.

And for what did I deserve such treatment? Because I am trying to do my job.

Yeap, you get hated for doing your job.

In what world would you be appreciated for trying to improve yourself from day to day?? Not this earth I realized.

I feel really uneasy. Suffocating even, to dwell in this place I thought I can call my second home.

I was again wrong, so hopelessly.

No doubt there are good ones, in humanity's defense.

But for humanity sake I hope those are true, are really, and will remain true.

and with that I will be grateful.