As in, maybe I should die soon from a brain tumour in my head, or some random accident that gets me moving on from this repetitive, torturing kind of purgatory.
Life feels hard again, and it does feels like breathing takes effort, and nothing around me sparks joy anymore.
Worst is no one knows you are going through it.
Maybe, just maybe,
Everyone is going through the same shit ? What a depressing thought.
...
Been hit with the notion that I have not work hard enough at work lately.
To be clear, when it comes to work that pays, I would put in 100% effort so my employer doesn't pay me for me to do nothing, which will ultimately make me feel bad. So no, I am totally serious about my work.
But they say I am not working hard enough.
That I gave too much excuses.
It is really disheartening to hear that you are not giving enough when all you are doing is try. I mean, just because you are better and you could have done better back in your days doesn't mean I am not working hard enough.
Just hope that one day I will get there.
...
I am depressed.
