Work

One more day and i'm done with my work as a minimarket's sales assistant. Days of work with the colleagues had really earn me some experiences in interacting with other people and as well as the attitude in facing life, facing some difficult circumstances, and some brilliant moves when facing ruthless customers. Anyway, the "who" factor is what interested me the most, which in the process of getting to know each other, i realize that humans are so not different at all, and at the same time so different that creates a huge spectrum of human characteristics, names are changed to protect privacy :

Kak E, you're always the understanding one among the staffs. Though you look fierce at first, but soon i get to know about your understanding nature, and your silly-but-so-adorable look. haha.

Kak R, you fascinates me with your inhuman skills which i preferably refer to as "machine gun". Though you looked like an evil witch, but you're so funny that i looked passed your wicked face, but your friendly attitude, and your funny motions..

Kak S, you're always the rough one, always going around bullying people around and delegate tasks in forms plastic bags (which you refer to as "present"). however, i know about your potential and your capability that makes you enthrone the fairly important post in the shop. You're cool and i know that behind your oppressive moves, there lies your caring heart.

Kak M, you're always lovable in my eyes with your funny english accent and your not-local reactions. I like to talk to you and see your reactions towards certain matters in the life. I liked your "WOW!!" very much.

Kak G, you're the first who reached out the friendly arm towards me and teached me to spend my free time on doing stuffs, not "buat bodoh". And i appreciate the act of sharing food with me, but sorry, my ulcer is really torturous.. X.X

Kak A, you casts unknown sense of familiarity on me, maybe because we can both share the same racial background and we can speak the same language. however, we're not so close. haha.





And for two more companions of me whom i doesn't want to do descriptive on. we're really a triplet of trouble friends, and trouble is our friend. =) Will remember all of our times together.
(artwork by chelle)

It's kinda ironic that when i start to get close to you all, i have to leave.

But fear not, i'll soon come back as a customer.

Certain items in the shop reminds me of something.

How this gave someone strength to continue study during SPM exams, but sadly doesn't have any effect.



How it became the small gift to someone who's going to compete in physical challenges. But sadly it's too sweet.


In my memories it says " had a small munch of this from someone special, one of the sweetest choc eaten in the life"


The first food that was shared between two couples. 90 cents.


And i remember it's your favourite candy.


The thing that binds two person together, the start of some untold tale.


100 Plus. the first gift for S.M during Love kuching race.

It makes me wonder how far you can be and yet your memories resides just aside of me.

By the way, to those who doens't know what my next job is, i'm going to be a dentist assistant.

Death.死亡.죽음

Death. It's not always the easy topic.

When i was young and small, i used to think how does it feels like when i dies. I covered myself with my big blanket, so that i can't see, hear, or keep in touch with the outer world, and empty my mind, as if my presence is insubstantial, that i'm not existing, but i still don't quite get that feeling.

Was i a little bit weird for thinking about this megatheme by the age of 8?? i wonder?? How will death come and get me?? How am i going to die?? When am i going to die?? Where am i going to after my death?? Going back into the green?? Moving on into the realms of spirits??

As confused as my weird mind, i came up with the ques and ask my dad. How is death like?? I remembered i didn't get satisfying answers that answered my uncertainties. i broke down, i cried fearfully, that i don't where i'll move on when i can't think, can't hear, can't breath, can't feel, can't see, and cease to exist.

Till now i'm still so sensitive with this mysterious thing that grasped me up till now. Death, not fearful at all i think now. What i fear now is the simple disconnection that will happen when i dies from everyone i knew, and everything that i love.

But at least up until now i am sure of one thing, that i know where i'll go when i moved on.

To fear death, my friends, is only to think ourselves wise, without being wise: for it is to think that we know what we do not know. For anything that men can tell, death may be the greatest good that can happen to them: but they fear it as if they knew quite well that it was the greatest of evils. And what is this but that shameful ignorance of thinking that we know what we do not know?


All that live must die, passing through nature to eternity.


Every man must do two things alone; he must do his own believing and his own dying.


Those who have lived a good life do not fear death, but meet it calmly, and even long for it in the face of great suffering. But those who do not have a peaceful conscience, dread death as though life means nothing but physical torment. The challenge is to live our life so that we will be prepared for death when it comes.

The hour of departure has arrived and we go our ways; I to die, and you to live. Which is better? Only God knows.


When a great man dies, for years the light he leaves behind him, lies on the paths of men.


If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live.


Know one knows whether death, which people fear to be the greatest evil, may not be the greatest good.


For the sword outwears its sheath, and the soul wears out the breast. And the heart must pause to breathe, and love itself have rest.


The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living.

Untouchable

Everytime when this song came to my ears, memories always rewinds back to the night where i am untouchable, and unreachable by anyone except for one whom i longed for an answer. The lyrics, the rhythm brings me back to the starry dreamy night when i locked myself in my room, desperately praying for miracles to happen, and at the same time offering conditions to the Almighty One in order for the miracle to happen. The night is dull, starry, i can recall that there's a big round moon outside my window, and a person in my heart, whom i cared foremost. Seconds lapsed like it was hours, and moment hardly seemed to crept by. And i remember.

That i vowed with my live to live on with one promise i made, when my prayer is granted.

Fundamental.

"Where's Ray?? You have any idea where's his whereabouts now??", voice came out in the dark.

"Hmmm... i'm not so sure too, i heard something about he's on leave and is now on his way back to his hometown." Tap! the tripped circuit switched on the light and illuminated the whole minimarket. Chelle is standing by the switch panel, pale like a bloodsucking vampire...

"What!? Why am i not informed of that?? So today's there's only two of us working??", JOshua bellowed in amazement.

"I'm most certain about that, by the way, had you counted the petty cash we had today?? is it three hundred??" Chelle said as she moodily pulled the ice-cream icebox out of the minimarket, displaying it on the corridor.

"Let me see..... One, Two, Three...." JOshua started flipping the ten bucks notes as CHelle continues on with her disorientated chatter.

"I'm sorry, i lost count, can you go somewhere else and talk to yourself??"

"Oops. sorry."

What is Ray doing now?? Joshua wondered as his gaze ran through the cashier counter. The note pasted on the Kit-kat rack is still very visible to him. Three big words : Joshua, Raymond, Michelle. One of the masterpiece of Chelle, he thinks as he opened the drawer which contained a lot of cash, and closed it once more. Boring. He start to get sloppy and weaved his own waking dream.....

*She crossed his mind??*

Free!!!

"Hey, had you know how much we had for yesterday?? Over?? Short??", Ray tilted his body to an angle that if he keep on tilting, he might run into the Nescafe rack next to him.

"I don't know, you better ask Josh, he's just back from the toilet." Chelle answered swiftly as Joshua stepped into their sight. It is common knowledge that the administration office is just next to the toilet, which stinks like hell in this whole shoplot.

"Why are you two looking at me like this?? Something on my face??", Joshua's lips curled as he checked himself for any sign of the unusual.

"Oh, it's just a simple question," Chelle's eye slant to a side, aiming at Joshua, "Over, or Short??"

"Man, you won't believe what i'll say next, 50 Bucks." Silence filled the air almost immediately.

"You're smiling man." Ray protested in disbelieve, not willing to believe that their money collected last night is 50 over bucks short compare to last night's sale.

"Okay, hold on." Joshua signalled a pause, pulling his face down, trying to mould it into a face which looked like a desperate wacko, adjusting his look that it contain as much deadliness as a reaper can give.

"I'm serious." He again repeated.

"Gosh, then if we have to pay for the loss, 50 divide by three, that means we have to pay approximately 16.6 bucks per person. You sure we are short of 50 bucks yesterday??" Chelle's eye is watering with some unknown watery liquid.

"Did i have to repeat myself so many times?? Yes, we did. And i don't know why we did. i double checked the petty cash when i started the business yesterday and by the end of the day we have 6 bucks over the sale profit! remember??" Joshua stared into the thin air, as if something unseen able is disturbing him.

"16.6 means we have to work for free today!!??", Ray shouted as the whole minimarket is going to collapse down in chaos.

"oh yeah, today is a free day." Joshua snapped the cashier drawer shut. The petty cash for today is 300 bucks, and today is a free day.

Hey you....

Dear,

This is one post that will be specially dedicated to you, but not for you to read, cause i'm pretty sure that you'll not read it cause you won't be bother to scroll down and read all my precious posts. i know you better than anyone else. but that is what that makes me uneasy.

It's been like two months since i last saw you, though the vision of you blurred from day to day, but my memories of you, those times spent with you i would not forget until the last of my breathing moment, i admitted that i'm still somehow obsessed with your jolly presence, somehow the absence of it contribute to my melancholic life.

You know, there's a time when you tell me that my eyes look like they want to kill someone when i looked at you. that was the time when i am so bitter inside of me when you start to put things more important than me. but since you tell me on that i changed for you, soften my mean look, only that you won't be scared or afraid when i'm with you. How well i remember that my look had made you hide in your class, from me, when i want to see you so much. Now, you're missing from my side for 2 months, some people starts to tell me that my look is getting more and more miserable as if they contain so much deadliness. i don't know why, eye just involuntarily shows my inner emotions. i'm no longer myself, i need you back to change me, back to the one who once smiles upon you and is extremely joyful.

Yes, i can see that you're having fun there now, and how sad it is that it is not me who gave you all these happiness. glancing back, it seems i never bring you any true joy, only pressure, and unwanted burdens. now that you've found your true joy, are you still putting me in your mind?? now that THEY have replaced my place in your heart, who will replace your place in my heart?? If it's IT that you're falling in love with, who'll now be the one falling in love together with me??

Tears will only bring more sorrows so i decide that i shouldn't let myself drown in tears. Now i only hope that this boredom will somehow pushes me to think further and somewhat matures into a different person, one that you're willing to rely on, and undoubtedly offer your life.

Space, Spaceship, Spacecraft, All you need now is Space.

MIssing You...

Waking up I see that everything is okay
The first time in my life and now it's so great
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed
I think about the little things that make life great

I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don't go away
I need you now
And I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by

I found a place so safe, not a single tear
The first time in my life and now it's so clear
Feel calm I belong, I'm so happy here
It's so strong and now I let myself be sincere

I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don't go away
I need you now
And I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by

It's the state of bliss you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful, it makes you wanna cry

It's the state of bliss you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful, it makes you wanna cry
It's so beautiful, it makes you want to cry

This innocence is brilliant, it makes you want to cry
This innocence is brilliant, please don't go away
'Cause I need you now
And I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by

This innocence is brilliant, it's so beautiful, it's so beautiful
This moment is perfect, please don't go away
I need you now, it makes me want to cry
And I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by

有些东西,
失去了,
才懂得珍惜.

Star

Oh you,
Bring out my heart rhythm
Smooth like a flow in the milky way
Dwindling about in the midst of galaxy.

Oh you,
Your laughter is my pure joy
Shining like the Orion Bolt
Trailing behind passion burning like supernova.

Oh you,
Your beauty outmatched the stars
Even the falling comet, or the Neptune,
Fails to capture my heart like your brilliance.

Oh you,
Remember the vow under the crescent
That shower of meteor promised
You and I clashes like neutron star collision.

Sometimes i may know not
That you are my destiny
Nor the time may lapse without you
But it came to me that
You are what I matter the most
In this vast universe.

Pissed.... Pff....

Sorry for not posting out the lovely poem i promised earlier on, something interupted my flow of inspirations and forced me wanting to do some shoutout in this blog.

Dear customers/Shoppers :

Please don't think that as long as you got money i'll comply with your inlogical request for a stupid plastic bag, which our minimarket refrain from issueing. Don't think in such a way that we'll bankrupt because you won't come to our store again. Sorry, YOUR ABSENCE IS A GOOD THING FOR US!!!! i'm sorry for you all that you are so uneducated in such way you don't know plastic bags take 500 years to disintegrates and you're making your kids and descendants to sleep with PLASTICs in the future!!! Please be environmetal. Please.

phew... done with my shoutings. A lovely poem coming up next, if nothing obstruct me again.

Shelter

My Family found a couple of cute puppies in the drain. it's a pair of black puppies with brown furs. kinda cute actually. I was so surprised when my family suddenly show so much passion towards the puppies, even more than the love they show to humans. My sis even Shouted at me because i'm not interested with the puppies and not even bother to open the gates for the puppies. sigh. i guess it's time people should stop talking about "i don't have bieber fever", and instead talk about "i don't have puppy fever.". anyway they're kinda adorable, as they clump together at the side of a wall, the home we've made for them with some abandoned bricks.

As they lay comfortably in their new shelther, i can't help to think about some of the shelters i have when i face hardships and difficulties. here i refer to those non-physical "shelter" whom my friend provides when i'm down, or emo.

Specially there's this special friend, whom i didn't realize her Goodness all these while, and now it came to me that she's my comfy secure shelter whom i always attend to when i'm down. all while i was only aware of her Naggy nature and her short-tempered attitude which irritates me most of the time. However, during these days of her absence, i realized her goodness. I find out that all these while what she cared for is for my own good, and i now misses her goodness very much.

Kinda weird for relating puppy shelter to my own Friend right?? No i don't think so. I thank her for being there for me all these while, and specialy thanks to her "stay happy always" motto. though she might not read this now, i hope you all can feel my sincerest gratitude to her.

And to Solitary Mimbletonia a.k.a S.M., "Now it's just me and my bloggy now since you left.... sigh. hope there'll be B.J.A, S.M., and stupiakboy.blogspot posts again."

p.s. a lovely poem is coming your way. =)

Change the World. We can.

Recently i started to work at some mini market which is currently low on man power. hmm.... i worked as the cashier ( isn't it this job is suppose to be for more experienced people instead of me?? ). Sadly speaking, i was kinda afraid about finding the wrong change, lost the money, and bla bla bla stuffs which will force me to compensate the lost of the company. i almosted die of shocked when the accountant wrongly calculated that my collected cash is 100++ ringgit downshort from my expected collected amount. D=

Well, it's a special shop actually which promotes environmental care and discourages the use of plastic bags. so, i was kinda flustered to encounter lots of stubborn customers who opposes this new idea. Got scolded somehow.... haiz.........

just a short update though.... haha, stay on for more updates soon.

Patris Grathia

Sorry Dear readers, didn't make it to count down with you all, as the year turns into a new one. But however, i did do something that symbolizes my new stage of life. Here it goes :

SMK GREEN ROAD. Once, and used to, my homeground and second home.

There,
I learnt about friendship,
I learnt to deal with challenges maturely,
I learnt to love,
I learnt to foster close bonds with teachers and friends,
I learnt about the cruelty exist and which lurked in our very surrounding,
I learnt that life is realistic and you have to work hard on your own to survive,

There,
Friends are made,
promise are made,
brains are cracked,
minds are pushed to its optimum state,
hearts grew fonder and passionate towards an adorable being,

There,
The young man with right mind is created,
Ambitious thoughts are planted and flourished,
Sweet memories are make and remain in keepsake

SMK Green Road, Bye.






Things move into past, reminiscence remains fresh in my throbbing heart.

Works and Days

Monday,
Everything mixed in a miry clay,

Tuesday,
All i know was it is fate,

Wednesday,
I'm fascinated by what you say,

Thursday,
Something is really wrong with me i shouldn't say,

Friday,
Something is bitter about your plan,

Saturday,
It's a brand new day,

Sunday,
I was hidden away, crying mayday.