Live Life. Love Life. Embrace Life.: June 2012

Epic Conclusion

Time Shifts.
The finale draws all of us back to here, Kolej Teknologi Timur where we all are bound to the reality of "to study hard and fly and catch our dreams". The whole sick carousel of to fall and strive, and to strive and fall. An Epic conclusion to AS level, A brand new beginning for the even more challenging A2 level.

And thank God for the whole 10 days of self-redefining, finally I learn that i can never never afford to show my weakness to anyone anymore. Yes, I think it is really foolish of me to trust someone easily and come naked mentally to someone even before calculating all risks and probabilities.

Can you afford to be betrayed once again?? NO certainly for you, and for me the same.
Sometime it really awed me when I can simply offer pure trust to people those whom i've just met. Do you call that naive?? Or it is stupid?? I mean, does it hurt to trust someone?? I think it's pure and nice and just Good to trust someone without any single doubts. But why is it so hard to believe that people can simple exploits that as a weakness and bring you down??

I don't believe it at first. And now I do.
If you expect you can offer trust for someone and hope that they'll trust you the same in return, you're being really childish.
And if you expect that your secret is safe when you break it to someone, NO, you're taking things for granted and shame on you, they do not have the responsibility to bring your secrets to their grave.

And again I've brought you all to this solemn fact that "The world is a cruel war on a chessboard where you are just one in Gazillion of the pieces wandering on the board, waiting to prey or being preyed upon". A hard truth to learn from if you are originated from a protective family, like me.

I wish I can tell you how does it feel to put your trust in someone
whom you think is the key that ends your lone life,
and whom you solely depend on to access the world
Full of Anticipation
Full of Hope
for a perfect world

But little did you know
That the little dream of yours
Is a futile effort built on collapsing foundations.

SARAWAK DAY 8

Recently i've come across to a very brilliant young 17 years old artist named Fredo. Here are some of his artwork, hope you enjoy it:

...

最近看到一位朋友，

任然痛着，伤着。

寒冷的寂夜

凄美的道别

感叹的句点

如今历历在目

是被烙印了吗？？

还是心里始终不敢放下？？

怕放下了，

全部回忆都一杀那消失？？

到最后，

你和她，

始终搞得面目全非。

那些年的风雨，

回味无穷啊。

我，还算是及格了。

SARAWAK DAY 7

What constitutes of a meaningful life??

Today I met with one friend of mine from the secondary school years, and we have the usual routine of loitering around at the Waterfront park, and also seize the opportunity to play a guitar, sing and beatbox there under the gaze of passing by tourist, and also local authorities.

I think most of my friends will think that this sort of doing is only for those who are in the lower tier of the whole social structure, the so called "low class" people but I really don't agree with that in particular. So what you're trying to say that those people who stand by streets and sings is someone who's very poor and doesn't deserve any attention with respect?? Well, far as i know i think they're the kind of person who had found a better way to earn money for their family compare to just sit there and hoping for sympathy from by passers, or they really have a deep passion for music and just hope for someone who will resonate to their music.

So what makes up of a meaningful life??

Someone once told me that i should go live my life, do things that i've never done before, try everything before I got a regular job and is no longer as mobile as when i was young again. Go adventure, go backpacking, go, just GO! My dad encourages me, and for that i'm grateful because i manage to have an interesting, enriching journey myself and pick up the hobby of doing photography along the way.

I hope someday i can actually step into the real world, bulging with a whole new culture and scenery, and there i shall find satisfaction, for at last I have seen the world, where we're all living in. =)

And i'm still waiting for the day to come,
Because it'll come.

SO WHAT CONSTITUTES OF A MEANINGFUL LIFE??

For me,
Love, Cherish, and Embrace,
Hold on to all the sadness, happiness, solemn or frivolous all alike.
Take it all in and you'll find a mixture,
All contrasts, but together they makes up a beautiful picture,
A meaningful life.

A Testimony

Hey there! =)

Greetings from Kolej Teknologi Timur, Sepang! I’m Joshua Wong, an ex-greenian and also and ex-member of GRSS ISCF. I’m actually honored and feel fortunate for being able to share my testimony here on this very joyous occasion. Well, in case you all wonder what I am doing recently, I’m studying A level under the sponsorship of JPA, and am going to further my studies to India the next year. =) It’s truly an eye-opener for me throughout my life here in KL and I can feel that my life is just starting under the guidance of God. All glory and praises to Him.

Well, if you were to ask me how is it feel to be like studying away from home, I would tell you that it’s a brand new experience, exciting but sad sometimes as you starts to miss your families and friends you used to be with before you fly off to study. Friends from ISCF for instance, I would never forget how you guys have played a role in changing my life, leading my life on the right track.

I’ve been joining ISCF an early year of form 1, and by then I was still a young and naïve little kid who’s still a stranger to all stuffs going around in the new school. And the first group of people who showed their genuine care for me is the seniors from ISCF. I can always remember vividly the sincerity in the seniors when they carefully and gently bring us up in this new secondary-school environment, and constantly showing their concern over our academic progress, and would not hesitate to give help when we’re in need.

And believe those people who said that “time flies”. I concur to the fact when I grew up to be a form 5 young adult in a brief blink of my eyes. Wow, I realized, that I’m going to sit for SPM this year, and stress starts pour in. The effect of preparation for exam seems to affect all my friends around me, which furthermore puts more desperation in my “stress-tank”. It is a really hard time.

And yet, I’m really thankful for God’s grace during trials and tribulations, and those support given by my friend, friends from ISCF especially. I would never forget how eager all the brother and sisters in Christ are in showing their care and concern, comfort when I’m sad, and the joy when they share my happiness when I manage to pull through waves of exams. And hereby I want to extend my gratefulness to Miss Yong Mie Ling for providing words of comfort throughout my course of secondary school years, and for always remembering me in her prayers. I’m sure that all the support from my friends and teacher herself had pushed me harder than ever in order to seize the opportunity to study under the sponsorship of the government.

And for the bible says "Whoever for my sake receives one such young child as this, receives me; and whoever receives me, receives not so much me as Him who sent me." (Mark 9:37). I’m very sure that all of my friends will be deeply blessed for they’ve served me with love for Christ sake, and in turn served Christ. I want to thank all of you for making my life here in GRSS a memorable one.

And finally I want to wish GRSS ISCF to be continually blessed and continue to walk in the way of God. May God be with us. Amen.

SARAWAK DAY 4

Currently having inexplicable craving for our nation's infamous (or not so??) singer Yuna. I've never been putting so much attention on this Malaysian Malay Singer but today finally i've had the chance to properly sit back and stalk one by one her songs.

Honestly, her voice is so melodic that it sounds like a drip of water dropping into a pool of water, so clear and clean. The style is so nice yet, not definable by merely words. It's really really nice.. And not to mention that her voice is so strong and penetrating that you can actually feel it piercing through your heart from your ears.

I bet when you first hear the voice, sure you'll be pull into this whirlpool of enchanted voice.

Okay here's one, don't forget to switch off the autoplay tune first. :

Alright, back to the "How am I??" session.
Well, in the midst of doubts and sadness, I've learnt to put myself on the lower ground, and lift others up, humbly. Well, It's certainly not a easy task to do, and i'm not even sure that i've rectify this me-problem fully cause this is sorta my personal weakness, and had taken me decades to overcome it.
Sigh, so why is it so hard to remove oneself from the center of his/her life and look upon others??Sigh, I don't know.
I just hope that when the next time people do something that will physically or emotionally affect me, i'll be strong enough to remain still on my composure, giving a pat on my shoulder, and have a proper life.

This should be enough for the day i guess??Hope i doesn't bore you.

bummer.

SARAWAK DAY 2

Yea yea yea, I've changed my blog's look and the song at the same time. Anyway, i hope you guys will love this song "Come home" by the One Republic. Somehow the song sounds so warm and soothing that it melts you from the inside. "Come home, come home" it says. Are you still out there wandering around with no sense of belonging?? Well, I've come home and there's nothing else that feels more like home. =)

Meanwhile, while I'm enjoying the pure joy of staying here in the moist land of Sarawak, I've decided to improve my language a bit by blog more during these days. So yea, you're gonna expect more of my posts in this place these days. =)

So yea, what would i answer if someone ask me how am i??

For one who've been leaving home for just a short period of 12 months, I've been through a lot. And I've have seen enough of people for the time being. I mean, what's the meaning if who you see are ugly souls that would make you puke if you just get along with them longer??

I've been terrorized. Mystified. Disappointed. Slashed. Gashed. Picked upon. Hurted. By the cruel reality of the fact that people have their own dark sides, their own grand demeanour that sometimes makes me sick to a very extreme extent that i have no wish to talk about it and by the time people ask me, i would just let the silence linger on after the question, and never to break it.

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY am i reacting to the inevitable?? Why is it so hard to accept the fact that people have their own weaknesses, physically or mentally, or spiritually?? Why is it so shocking that your perfect world in your teeny tiny mind is bound to be slashed wide open to countless waves of redefinition which is inevitably unavoidable?? Do you really think that the world is really as perfect as you think?? Do you think that this is the place where you can find people with attitudes and characters that perfectly suits you??

Somehow i hope so,
I hope that this world is a very nice place,
And i hope it can be better.

Hello world
Hope you're listening
Forgive me if i'm young
Speaking out in turn

A whole new world. My dad is right, You can never blame people to treat us the way that you don't like.~~Sadly,~~ The only thing that you can do is to change yourself and accommodate to the people, the environment, the norm, and the world.

If so, how can i fend myself from conforming to the world's way?? Is there a way which i can follow so i can still keep my mind naive and yet accept the fact this world that is wide open to me infront is full of negativity and unjust??

I wish i know how to.