MIsery at Best



What does that tell you when all hopes are lost??


Once there's this man who've lost his family in a dreadful car crash. He seemed normal after the heartbreaking tragedy, not far different from who he used to be. He dragged his old car back, fix it day and night, only to wreck it again on the night of the anniversary of his family's death.

As all may disapprove the act of the man, preparing and reliving the despair all over again after time, i find the act a little bit unique from my point of view, as it struck up my curiousity.

What was it??
Is he going to feel better after reliving the past??

It is a self-torturous process that most of us doesn't have to endure, but sadly some of us have chosen this path as a way to remind ourselves of our subsistence. It makes us feel alive, it makes us part of the pain, which had become a major part of us after the tragedy.

So, what about it?? Have empathy, please.

Why open up again for the same hurtings over and over again?? Why reading the book that will bring all the sad memories back?? Why reminisce about past that'll cause mental breakdown?? Do i deserve all this?? Is it right to do this? Is it somehow going to make me stronger after being hurt again?? Neither do i know, i don't fathom myself after disastrous times that break my nerves and threw me down into the endless pit of misery. I no longer know my self.

WHO AM I??

Maybe i've become some low self-esteem creature living on this planet, dragging my zombified organic compositions, my biological parts of emotions, on a journey of love that's full of toils and hardships. I'll never knew. Am i still me??


p.s. Thanks D.J for his on-time blessing, will share about it soon.

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