Randomization

Well, recently I’ve been indulge in some chemical romance in life, which turn my world around, and caused chaos to my used-to-be normal life.

Yes, I’ve fell for a girl and it’s the first time I get such strong emotion. You know, the usual romantic scenes, “I’m thinking of you now and then”, “I wish I’m with you now”……… it’s happening to me………… no lying….. it felt so real!!!!

Well, I think God is quite humorous in this particular issue, you know. He didn’t granted my other new year resolutions, but granted my “fell in love” resolution, which I thought would never come true.

Well, it’s what I wished for and it’s granted……. I’m just confused for getting this weird-weird obsession sensation……. My bad……. The life is……… I liked the moment when I think about her but sometimes I hate it cause it interrupted my life. Thinking of her every now and then, it’s what pleasures me and upsets me……

But overall, I like….. don’t like…… like……. Don’t like……… like this life I’m currently having. Maybe God has his plan for me through this incident. Maybe something good will happen….. or it’ll end up badly…… sobs…….

HELP!!!!!! I’m having indigestion and my voice deteriorates…..

p.s. I like you, as usual.

I regret the time
When I show no concern
When my seriousness is desired
I’m sorry for everything

School tale…….. if everyone is made up of the same mind

Today the English club are having their recruitment……… Permissions…….. Procedures……. Everything ready……. The Cocuriculum Teacher even signed the Permission slip……but things turn out to be Nasty when the old PK HEM teacher rushed into the spot and asked everyone out of the room, because of the Form 6 Programmes...... The president really angry lol…….

Things to Ponder and Overcome :

1. If the Cocuriculum teacher had already passed down the permission………. Should someone like PK HEM stop them??
2. If there’s form 6 programme in the afternoon, why the cocuriculum teacher sign the slip??

SCHOOL OH SCHOOL…

p.s. i like you

Desperate boy Speaks.....

I ate
I thought of you
I talked
I was reminded of you
I slept
I dreamed of you

you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
In my dream

(well, another desperated poem existed in my blog..... well, can't help it..... i'm just too...... desperated........ you know....... how close you're to her but you can't have her........... Never get emotion this strong before...... Maybe my hormones are playing some liar game...... dude.......)

I'm
Awfully
Horribly
Outrageously
Shockingly
Terribly
And
Dreadfully
In love with you

But i'm afraid
By doing this
I'll fall out of it

Commencing……..

Well, I started taking up Mr. Ang’s tuition Last Week. Although he is fun and good to us…… but he is particularly troubled by me, the new “disciple” of his. I am also quite disgusted by the word “dunia oh dunia, kenapa ada budak ini”, which he says when I’ve done some careless mistakes……..

Switched PBK’s time to Friday night, managed to switch even though the “kakaks” tried their best to stop me from entering the class. Thanks to dad, who called in times more than the figure my fingers can count. Many friends, classmates, and schoolmates are there. Happy.

Experienced live on stage drum performance. SCARY……………. I even dropped the drumsticks twice on the second performance……. ( will upload the pic next time I played drum) The middle-age-women-with-super-duper-hyper-incorrect-sense-of-tempo, SCARY……… hope I’ll turn out to be one expert drummer in the future……

And thanks to Francis…… Guess I’ll be uploading pics about the class and teachers in the future….. hope you’ll like it…….

And I’m super, hyper, and desperately desperated……. Frances…… you know…………

I was ready to say “sorry”
But it was your solemn face
Cold words
Piercing accusations
Annoying expressions
That makes me eat up my word.

~Thoughts meant not to be spoken, but to be written~

A Dream…….

Before I tell you guys my encounter, I want to let you guys know that I’m a rational guy. This means I can look at things rationally. For instance, when I had a dream, I’ll usually come to a point when I manage to tell myself that “it’s only a dream, I can wake up and stop dreaming or keep dreaming”, IN MY DREAM!

But this particular dream, managed to control me, it exposed my greatest fear and need.

Listen carefully………

The dream is about moving back to Bintulu, my dad suddenly ordered that we’re moving back to Bintulu. Then, I went through some sort of farewell things. I bid farewell to friends, teachers, churchmates, and my love one……… it’s sad actually, and I could neither help with the sad sensation nor tell myself “it’s just a dream”. It’s just too real, or the dream reveals my true need, my worst fear?

I realize how these kuching friends mean to me, a LOT, actually, and I couldn’t afford to lost each of them. (to friends in Bintulu, I miss you guys too…….. if you’re reading this……lol). These people, people living around me are like a part of my life. If this part of my life were ever being stripped away from me, I couldn’t imagine how negative I’ll become. Imagine you had to leave all of your friends, whom you had strong bonds with, your lovable teachers, and your love one……… it’s just too sad.

So, friends, teachers, churchmates, and even YOU!!!! I love you guys for being a part of my life, and I couldn’t afford to lost you. So, thank you! You had to come to realize that it takes a lot of courage to say that four letter word. So…….. friends…. I love you all!!! And to my love one…….. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

p.s. 18th Jan is approaching sooner than I think, wish the teenage egghead will had his best luck at AUS, kangaroo kingdom, and miss us regularly. Miss you! Egghe

For you....

Take my hand
And feel my warmth
My scalding obsession towards you

Listen to my heartbeat
And follow the pounding rhythm
The repeated intone of my vital need

Explore my mind
And you will learn
My burning desire to have you leaning by my side
Laying on a glassy plain
Under the shining crescent

Listen,
Can you hear me?
Messages written meant not to be delivered
Thoughts meant not to be spoken

Give me back my long lost courage
Which you took away
The moment I lay my gaze on you
So I can whisper gently into your ear
I love you

Mr Google is called Mr Google!

He wears a specs and he read books.

He talks like a mad scientist who dedicated his life to world domination projects.

He practically, technically knows everything, even those things labeled with tag : “blue”, “yellow”, “under 18”........ He also knows a lot of weird knowledge which we, ordinary human pay no attention to, or shall we say we’re never exposed to that?

He’s Mr know it all.

So, we decide to call him Mr. Google *ahem* Law *ahem* Wiki(pedia).

New Year Resolution '10

I, Joshua Wong hereby declare the following things which I will try my best to accomplish or improve on in the year 2010 :

1. Get at least 8 A’s in SPM
2. Finish the bible
3. handcopy “Daniel” in the bible
4. Be a good leader in MJYF, ISCF, PBSM and etc etc (in the sense of making the organization better than previous years)
5. Being less lame
6. Think twice before talking
7. Do more study, wake up 30 minutes earlier
8. Work out drumming
9. Improvise guitaring skill
10. Pick up Piano
11. Improve in vocal
12. Being a better person (by making more friends, less EMO, more chit-chat, less backstabbing)
13. Tell a person about his/her bad attitude/mistakes
14. Grew in spiritual means
15. Reach 175 cm
16. Fell in love, again (what the??)
17. Dependent on God in all ways in life.
18. Influence more people with The love of Christ.
19. Choose a path to take : Serve God full-time, or part-time
20. Not to be liar

Bye, 2009......

After 365 days, year 2009 finally comes to an end, with year 2010 catching up. Well, this year went away quite fast, for me. It’s like a blink of an eye. It seemed like yesterday when I first entered form 4.

To sum things up in English, I can only say that I have had a prosperous and fruitful year and learned a lot in this year-worth journey. I learned about attitude in study, interact with people, and lots of things………… (you see, I’m bad at describing this kind of things in English. So, I better start writing this post in mandarine. But, don’t worry, this blogspot still have English as its main language……… lol)

Well, this is the year I grew more matured (honestly, I think so……). Although some of the people may say, “Joshua is still as lame and as surprising as ever”, I tell you, my reader, that that is my style, and my maturity could not be measured by my lameness……… I also suffered from distress this year, which molds me into a more durable person.

Well, I’m switching to BC now……… I’m sorry for any inconvenience caused. Remember, this post is my truest feeling and thoughts.

2009年让我成长了许多，更让我思想了许多真理。2009年里，我的人生达到另一个高峰。当中，我学习在忙碌中屹立，并在忙碌中克服重重困难，注重各项的发展。感谢神的带领，我学习对事奉热忱，更对上帝的旨意顺服。在2009的年头里，我学会竭力推动所被委托的事工，不再空闲时怠慢，发白日梦。学习过程后，我不再妄想了。

除此之外，我也学习了沟通的艺术。之前，我的言语难免伤了许多人的感受 （在此慎重道歉）。玩笑有时也开大了（对不起，为的是娱乐效果，没有针对之意）。当然，我也学会诚恳待人。之前，因为自以为厉害而小看了许多许多的人。年末时，才开始欣赏别人独有的特点。世界也变得可爱许多。

可是，在步入成人世界的这年，让身、心、灵受了不少创伤，几乎崩溃。（关心者请回顾以往的网帖）。毕竟，成长了许多，也看出了别人的弱点。看到了别人错误的地方，却不提出以便改进，愧疚，愧疚，愧疚，愧疚…… 把它列入明年的学习课程吧………加油！

还有，要让大家对我改观。我认真时就和我认真，玩时陪我尽情地玩。别在我认真时和我开玩笑，我会生气的！

感谢神一年来的带领，神的恩点多之又多，数也数不清……在神面前，我什么都不是………

2009 年的网帖到此为止了，就此下线。

Sign off for year 2009.

Bored.......

Err..... recently i have nothing to blog about..... so, i take on the tag from anarchism.org by Kay the Anarchist........... "there say : the tag is for people who had just finished SPM"....... The.... i refuse to comply......

Here goes :

Bold the statements that apply to you.

i’m 170cm tall
i dont know what i want at the moment
i hate my life
i hate my friends
i hate my grades
i can drive (in the game XD)
i’m bored of driving (i hate driving game!)i love dancing
i go clubbing every week
shopping is bullshit
i have a tattoo of a star
i got my navel pierced
i have friends that take drugs
90% of my friends smoke
i still hangout with my ex, although our break up was rather nasty
i’m studying fashion
i have a business running
i hate cartoons
i hate someone (i hate ultraman..... if you ever read www.stupiakboy.blogs.friendtster.com)i have 10 lollipops handbags
i buy CLEO every month
my parents dont know about my blog (they know but they don't care)
i have an ipod
i dont have faith in the current ‘one’
my schoolmates know about my blog
i wanted to be a fashion designer
i love rock emo bands (AVRIL rocks!!!!!)
i hate it when people cancel last minute meet upsi’m a rebel
i dont believe in love
high school’s filled with drama
my parents have faith in me
i’ve bought shoes this month
i hate sports
i heart italian foods
i hate meeting new people
i hate nail polish
the mother bear gives me hugs
people should start appreciating me
high school was the worst time of my life
i have red hair
one utama is my second home
i’m a guy
i’m scared of my biology exam which i’m going to face tomorrow
i hate vacations
i believe in long distance relationships
i’m going to get high and smoke weed one day soon
i’ve robbed an old lady
i’m starting to start applying make-up
i was a tomboy
at times i think i still am a tomboy
i love bitching about people behind their backs
i still have a best friend
i have a cat
i hate suprise party
i hate planning parties
i’m hot (oh yeah!!!!!)
i’m a sinner
i can live w/out music (never ever ever)
video games are a waste of time
i missed the father bear
i love being in love
i know how to cook (that makes me a good husband.....XP)
i have 100% freedom
boys are assholes
i hate math (yeah baby!)
i’m happy with what i love
i love horror films
my old friends keep in touch with me
i dont read newspaper
the news is such a waste of time
blogging is a waste of time (who's idea is this?!)
i hate animals
i cant live w/out make-ups
i curse like a pirate
i hate people that are smart
i love orange juice
i believe that everyone in their teens have lost their virginity (what the..... i'm virgin)!!!!
i got a new phone (it's five months old 01X-XXXXXXX)
i’m going to get a pair of new shoes by the end of this month
i havent worked out since March
i think i’m fat
i love my friends and family
aku lapar

I tag:
Hannah, D.J., Ah Pher, Mic chung, Nic Chung, Evon, Yolande, Li Lan, And all other beloved blogger i can't think of ........ (if you're reading this, YOU'VE BEEN TAGGED!!!!!)

Christmas Memories

During those times when the economy is still stable and everyone enjoys a peaceful life. My dad used to practice some practices during Christmases.

He actually “brings” us to toy stores and let us look around and enjoy the view of toys and etc etc….. (well, as you can see, we’re very obedient at that time and won’t cry so that our parents buy toys for us…. Maybe we’re not spoiled, and of course during that period of time we love toys especially…. Haha……). When he spotted one of us particularly show interest in a particular toy. He would take note of it, eyes shining with joy.

Then, on the next day, the Christmas day, we would always woke up discovering titbits with our dream toy at our side, tagged with a note : “from santa”. Then, dad will pretend to be surprised at the toys we “received” from Santa (a.ka. dad, when I actually grown up and discover this). We would sit around, showing off our toys and share the tit bits around.

Those are the wonderful days when I had the feeling of “Christmas”. But now, I can hardly get the Christmas atmosphere in me….. although sometime I keep reminding myself : it’s not about you, Christmas is about Jesus. I just can’t help feeling weird for not being happy during Christmas.

* * *

Christmas ‘09

We’re taking our choir robes with us, me and Nicholas, going to the outside to change the robe on. We rushed out, change the robe and get ready.

However, the sight in our eyes shock us. The choir are already on the stage, singing halfway.

I’m here to confess that we should not crap when we change our robes on……..

This is ’09 Christmas. We missed the choir performance, as a choir member.

* * *

第十届中学生生活营：牛仔很忙，结果叻？

Okay…… I went for another camp recently, sorry for the late update……



Artwork of my team....... Media :acrylic. Surface : table



Buddies......and me......with a hairstyle..... notice it??



Captain cook on the move





if you own a lot of money and fell dead suddenly, what's the use?



Partner of the year...... Mic, you're popular!!!!!!



My Team... Team Twelve

这个营会给我最大的深思是：我们到底忙碌要到几时呢？我的答案是：耶稣也一样是个大忙人，但是他懂得从上帝那里支取力量。同样，我们也要互相扶持，并彼此提醒：靠主得力量。

除此，我也醒觉：营会到底是个聚会的地方还是是为了引取注意力的地方？有些人在聚会时一副虔诚的样子，私底下生活见证令人失望。所以，我们应该在出席营会时应该注意：我们脑子里想的是不是想引起注意？我们都要好好操练……

L.O.V.E 爱

本人在此只是在作个人分享，分享内容没有针对任何一方之意。如有不正确之处，请多多包涵。此分享希望能达到抛砖引玉的效果，希望读者们能给予热烈的回应！

爱，是一个十分抽象的名词。到底如何诠释它呢？至今仍然是个议论纷纷的题目。说到爱，就难免谈到“喜欢”，喜欢又是什么呢？有人说：爱是深深的喜欢，喜欢是浅浅的爱。听起来蛮好玩一下，但是到底对不对呢？

本人觉得，在现在少年时期，我们根本谈不上“爱”。现在的校园里，屡屡听说“某某某爱某某某”、“某某某喜欢某某某”、“某某某对某某某有好感”等之类的谣言。更惊人的是，校园里不时不时就会有“5201314”、“你我流浪天涯海角，哪怕海枯石烂”、“我为你伤害我自己”，等忘我的爱情宣言。难道这就是爱吗？

脑袋清醒点，仔细想想，我们脑袋里装着活脑是有原因的。如果现今少年人们能爱一个人到海枯石烂，天涯海角，一生一世的话，为什么他们的男/女朋友换了又换，像换衣服一样？ 如果你为了你爱的人伤害自己的话，你岂不是不把你的男/女朋友放在眼里？！如果你走火入魔把自己杀了，你的男/女朋友岂不是受了更大的伤害？这还是爱吗？

为何如此呢？追根究底，罪魁祸首是现在大红大热的“偶像剧“！本人这么说是有原因的。偶像剧均都以浪漫的爱情故事为卖点，再加上凄美、悲凉的剧情、面目可人的演员们，掳捕了不少少男、少女的心。看着角色们投入各自的爱情故事里，少男、少女岂不也“想爱”了？

再说，少年的情绪正处于一个不稳定的阶段，并容易对异性产生好感。再加上身体里作怪的荷尔蒙（DOPAMINE），少男、少女至终就坠入了情网中。一旦DOPAMINE的效力消失了，异性之间的那种“感情”就会逐渐淡化，随着时间的流逝而消失……到时，在许许多多的意见不合下，再浓的情爱也会消失。更严重的话，还会“因爱成恨”，连朋友都没得作。这样岂不是更悲惨吗？

所以，本人再重复：少年人们根本谈不上“爱”，只能单单说是“喜欢”。爱，是一种承诺，伴随着的，是婚姻的盟约。这才是真正的“爱”。本人不是在自认清高，因为本人也是一位少年人，也做过许多的“傻事”。本人也不是在反对少年人谈恋爱，谈恋爱毕竟是好的。只是，本人在此有个要求：在对爱人说“我爱你”之前，请好好思考，“我真的爱他/她吗？”。别让青春年华蒙上阴影！祝大家“假期快乐“，不要像本人一样，闲得无所事事。

最后，再次叮咛：请热烈回应！

if i were a charmy girl

i recently did something that even three year old children would not do.....




LAugh all you want....... i'm that clumsy.........

One day Camp @ Bau

Breath-Taking View......Full of Arsenic.......Sigh....



Please don't jump!!!!! I'm here to help you!!!!



Look what had i found!!! An obedient Monkey!!!!



Entrance via the cave..... Venue : Fairy Cave





Wonder of God's Creation........



What's going on!!!!!!????



Way Back.........

The End of Babysitting…..

Well, the Sunday School camp is finally over, which means that my “suffering” is finally over. Well, a lot of things actually happened during this period of time. Well, I’ve learn a lot and a lot more determined to do things better and learn more things from the adults………

Aside from looking after the kids, telling stories to them, I also acquired these thing from them :



It’s actually nailprint on my hand. Now you can see how violent is the kid nowadays. They actually run around and knock into each other when the teacher is not teaching, then cause the frenzy to commence…… Violent………….. Very difficult to handle……EXTREMELY INSTABLE……….

How instable was it? A teacher entered the class and come out after five minutes, exclaiming “I’m dead, I’m dead”…..

Terrible, isn’t it?

Worse more is yet to come. Some little girl tend to “fell” for Older male teachers and keep on following the teacher, insisted that the teacher always talks to them and jealous when the teacher interacts with other girl students…… Haiz….. children nowadays…….

A random pic uploaded from the camp : short, shorter, shortest ? tall, taller, tallest?

An encounter with 7 year old Kids…..

Time : Lunch Time
Venue: Somewhere where a bunch of kids exist
Date : The day this event occurred


Me : Hello kids, mind listening to my questions? “The Red house is in the Red street. The Green House is in the Green street. The Blue House is in the Blue street…..”

Kids : Are you Crazy???

Me : NONONO…… let me continue “……The Black house is in the Black Street. And the Pink house is in the Pink street. How about white house????”

Kids : 神经病，戴眼镜，医生问你什么病，没有病，回家变成MR. Bean. (well, if you don’t know what does this means…… it’s actually a rhyme used to mock people as if they are crazy………. Think they don’t understand the question so they tried to mock me)

Me : Wow, Big brother here played with it when I’m small. Know what I’m playing now? I play “yo yo yo yo”

Kids : Tea-Cher-There’s- A-Guy-Here-Trying-To-Bully-Me (Idle Chant)

Me : You Guys are real cute!!! Come, let me have a pic with you all….. I’ll count to three, and you guys look at this camera. O.K.?

Kids : (Stares at me)

Me : One………Two……….Three……….

Kids: (Turn away from the camera)

Me : Thr……….eee……. =.=” (sweat)


(Well, the kids still goes on their “teacher is trying to bully them” chant, but unfortunately, I’m not in trouble, cause I’m really not bullying them…..)

Dream……. Deceiving as it looks……

“I like you,” she blurted out as she looks in to my eye. Her gazed burnt into my eye, but in someway, it’s full of raging passion and emotions. I could never imagine that she share the same emotion of me towards her. I liked her, since three years ago. However, her act is expected. Because I’ll not be brave enough to tell her that I feel the same towards her……

“I’m……… shocked……..but…….. I can’t……help to tell you that……. I like you too………” finally, with a burst of courage, I stared into her dazzling eyes and declared.

She blushed. Momentary silence.

I lifted my hands as she lifted hers. Our hand held each other for a few seconds before they parted, full of shyness. We both blush now, but the feeling is great, just great. We both waited for what happen next. I’m sure that now both of us tried to say something but no sound could be produced.

I reached for her hands and found out that her hands are smooth as cotton, and warmer than anything that provides comfort and pleasure. The heat from her hand scalded into my cold, sweaty hand.

“For how long had you waited for these moment, you know, this moment?” well, someone got to speak, and that’s got to be me, as a man.

“Three years……. Since we’re in form one”

Her voice melted into my heart like nectarine, soothes my heart as if something extremely sweet had intrude into my heart core. Her blushing face is more beautiful than ever, with her adoring eyes staring directly into mine. For a long moment we speak nothing, instead of exchanging stares.

That’s it. I want to be like this forever. Nothing moves as if time has stopped.

“Well, to tell you the truth, I waited for this moment as long as you had waited, since we’re in form one” We blushed again.

Her head leaned closer to me with her eyes closed. She’s expecting something, a kiss maybe………….. I can’t control my head which is also leaning closer to hers. Soon, our lips may be in contact and the sweetest thing will occur…..

Suddenly, the bubble popped and I’m awake.

It’s a dream. Which will not likely to be happening in the reality. I’m pretty sure of that. All I can do is to get back into my dream, and continue our love story…..

Leadership Training camp

well, we had done this nice camp here..... it feels like NS entirely..... just read and you'll know...... For your info, i don't want to go at first, cause my friend send me doves (means don't come in mandarin). but joining the camp eally didn't bring any regret to me..... it's so GOOD!!!



First Meal : Titbits on 2 and half hour bus ride (orange juice, keropok, mineral water)



My bed sheet, pillow cover, and blanket.....



my sweet sweet bed..... it feels good when you sleep on it but watch out......



this is how our room look like, double decker beds.......



mosquito stings!!!! here, as you raise your head, you'll see...... mosquito on the move. even if you used the blanket to sleep, they'll somehow penetrate the blanket and give you stings!!! SCARY.......



food tray... look exactly like NS one........ well, even worst, you had to wash it yourself after eating............. exactly like NS.....



Tata...... there's these mouth savouring dishes which makes me fat for a couple kilos...... they really taste good!



anything familiar? does "stupiakboy" ring a bell?



sponsored clothes: Lifebuoy, World's No.1 Germ protection (does it actually protects the germs???!!)



see, this is voluntarism!!! mop the floor!!!!! (actually, it's i who break the water container and is required to clean up the mess)



is he russel LEE? the SIngaporean true ghost story owner??? i don't know..... he looked like a bad guy.......



wait!!! why's everyone dead??!!




okay, meet the Rapelling game..... it's a high risk game at which you need to descend from the top of the tower on the wooden board which is 45 feet tall. if you fall, you die...well, you can see how brave i am..... imaging i as a small dot at the top of the tower, coming down....... actually i'm scared of height....





some random pics from the volunteer recognition night dinner. all the members in their best outfit.........



meet Dr Cosmas (the last one from left), a good looking doctor...... Doctor, you still owe me my RM5/hour pay and you owe us 3 "rendam"!!!!!!



Blue Union Forever!!!


Overall, i learned how to interact with other etnics and has more confidence in bringing my team to a better future. so, wish me luck and be jealous ya!

Last Day in School '09